Married At First Sight dating coach urges viewers to be ‘mindful’ on social media

Married At First Sight UK dating coach Mel Schilling has posted an Instagram message in which she signposted viewers to three domestic abuse charities as producers come under fire for putting ratings over contestants’ wellbeing.  

It comes after Wednesday night’s explosive episode, which saw cast members Matt Murray and Whitney Hughes ditch the partners they had been expertly paired with for each other.

The matchmaker today took to Instagram to defend the show’s stars, saying they had taken the ‘courageous step to enter this process’ and hailing them for ‘showing such openness and vulnerability (for your viewing pleasure)’.

In an appeal to viewers, she said: ‘Please be mindful when commenting and engaging on social media, that they may read what you write.’

Towards the end of the post, she advised viewers that if themes on the programme had caused concern then to reach out for support, before tagging three domestic abuse charities, Refuge, Women’s Aid and Respect UK. 

She told her followers to ask themselves if they would say the comment to their face. 

‘If not, don’t post,’ she urged.

Mel went on to say that events highlighted in this week’s episodes may prompt ‘intense conversations’ between households, friendship groups and group chats.’

‘My hope, is that it makes you reflect and think about your own relationships,’ she continued.

‘You may have strong views about the decisions and actions you see this week – great!

‘Talk about them, debate them, consider different perspectives and get passionate about your views!

‘But please, do it with respect and kindness’.

She went on to say that if themes highlighted in the programme have caused concern then to reach out for support, before tagging three domestic abuse charities, Refuge, Women’s Aid and Respect UK. 

It comes after MailOnline revealed yesterday that the E4 show had been accused of prioritising ratings over contestants’ wellbeing, with viewers expressing concern over a number of scenes aired in this year’s series.

Series seven has been plagued with safeguarding concerns after fans hit out against couples being urged by experts to be ‘intimate’ with each other despite appearing uncomfortable and seemingly plied with booze at explosive dinner parties.

Dr Charlotte Proudman, a barrister who specialises in violence against women, said that ‘there needs to be a better format that puts contestants’ safety and well-being above viewer ratings’ but at the moment believes it is ‘the other way around’. 

Questions have been raised over the thoroughness of background checks after emotional abuse allegations surfaced about George Roberts earlier this week – which he categorically denies. 

And problems for the show kept coming as cast member Gemma Rose accused producers of airing an untrue storyline about her ‘masturbating in a restaurant’.

The salon owner, 31, told MailOnline she was left feeling suicidal after producers  ‘coerced’ her to stay on the show despite expressing on several occasions that she wanted to go home.

In her first interview since starring on the series, Gemma revealed that she felt ‘scared’ and ‘vulnerable’ being married to tattooed barber Matt, 32, who she said ‘lied’ about her ‘masturbating in a restaurant’ to cover up for his own ‘toxic behaviour.’

The mum-of-two said the show airing the false storyline that she pleasured herself in a restaurant made her want to ‘die’ and she will be taking her complaint with the broadcaster further.

She said: ‘Matt made that up to deflect what he did in that restaurant, which was getting aggressive, flipping a chair back, and storming away. It obviously did not happen.

‘I defended myself on more than one occasion and said that’s not f***ing true, but it didn’t make the cut because the storyline was too good.

‘I was told it wouldn’t be put into the final edit and I was disgusted when it did. E4 is not allowed to manipulate a storyline like that so I will be taking it further.’

A Channel 4 Spokesperson said: ‘Married at First Sight UK episodes are carefully put together and we ensure that what we broadcast is a fair and accurate reflection of the events that unfolded. 

‘Contributor care and safety is of paramount importance and we work closely with our production partners to ensure robust contributor care protocols are in place and that appropriate support is available to contributors before, during and after broadcast, including access to our experts and an independent psychologist.’

Concerns over the show’s safeguarding process come after other broadcasters, such as ITV, faced intense scrutiny over their duty of care for participants of reality TV shows following a number of deaths linked to Love Island and Jeremy Kyle, leading to stricter protocols being implemented.

One psychologist told MailOnline there was a risk that audiences watching the show could emulate problematic behaviours, after concerns were raised over an intimacy task in which one couple was asked to hug, kiss and stare into each other’s eyes – leading to some uncomfortable viewing. 

Dr John Oates, a professor of developmental psychology at the Open University who advises TV production companies, said watching these sorts of tasks ‘might normalise invasion of privacy as being an acceptable thing to do’. 

Dr Proudman added that some of the behaviour exhibited on the show, if seen in real life, would warrant calling the police ‘for harassment’. 

She said: ‘If you saw someone on the street trying to kiss a random person and asking them intimate personal questions you’d call the police for harassment and assault but put a rolling camera in front of them and call it ‘love’ suddenly it’s all fine.’ 

Channel 4 said that ‘contributors have the choice not to take part in activities if they do not wish to’.

Concerns have also been raised over the amount of alcohol apparently consumed at explosive dinner parties and other group activities, where blazing rows are commonplace.

One person said: ‘The producers know if they add alcohol to the mix and they’ll get the drama they want’ while others were left questioning if there was a limit on how many drinks they were allowed. 

Other reality TV shows such as Love Island have implemented a two-drink rule to curtail the amount of alcohol which can be drunk by contestants.

ITV’s safeguarding came under fire following the deaths of former contestants Sophie Gradon and Mike Thalassitis on Love Island and guest Steve Dymond on Jeremy Kyle, prompting the broadcaster to publish details of their extended duty of care protocols.

Last year, Ofcom boss Adam Baxter warned Love Island and other shows could be stripped of their broadcasting licences if they fail to protect contestants wellbeing. 

Dr Oates said it was ‘not appropriate’ to provide contributors with alcohol ‘as a means to generate conflictual, aggressive behaviour which shows they’ve lost a degree of control.’

‘It’s arguable it’s not ethical for television broadcasts to show people who lost control,’ he added.

Channel 4 said that ‘alcohol intake is monitored and limited across dinner party shoots, which take place during the course of a single evening, and producers prioritise the contributor’s safety and wellbeing at all times.’

Earlier this week, bombshell revelations made in the Sun claim that Mr Roberts, 40, was able to marry a stranger on television despite three of his exes complaining to police about his alleged abusive behaviour.

In the show, Roberts married former Ms Great Britain, April Banbury, after they met at the altar for the first time. However three women who claim to be his ex-girlfriends said that they were horrified by his inclusion in the show.

Each of them said that they had independently made a complaint to the police about his behaviour, claiming to have been ‘love-bombed’ before the relationship became ‘coercive’. 

All three said that they raised concerns with Channel 4 after seeing Roberts in  trailers for the show, flagging his ‘abusive, ‘obsessive’ and ‘manipulative’ behaviour towards women.

Channel 4 said Mr Roberts, like all contestants that appear on the show, was ‘subject to rigorous background and psychological checks, including the most detailed police checks a production is able to undertake.’

When considering if the show should continue in the same format next series, Professor Oates said ‘the broadcaster and production company should definitely reflect on what’s happened’, adding that he recommended they ‘consult with experienced psychologists in reviewing their duty of care practices’.  

Channel 4 said that ‘prior to filming, we work incredibly closely with our production partners to ensure all Married at First Sight UK contributors are subject to rigorous background and psychological checks, including the most detailed police checks a production is able to undertake.

‘Any allegations of this nature are taken extremely seriously by Channel 4.’ 

A spokesperson for Mr Roberts told The Sun that the television star denies the allegations and finds them ‘deeply upsetting’, adding: ‘[He] does not condone abuse nor behaves in that way.

‘These allegations were never brought to his attention, investigated or taken further by the police for good reason as they are simply not true,’ they added.