‘My husband is a porn addict – I couldn’t convince myself to trust him again’
A woman who is married to a recovering porn addict has shared a major reason why she found it difficult to be able to trust her husband again.
Jolene Winn, a life coach for women married to porn addicts, has opened up to her Instagram followers about her own husband’s addiction to porn.
She has previously spoken about how it triggered a downward spiral in her confidence in their sex life which she had to work hard to fix.
READ MORE: Life coach whose husband was porn addict now helps other women going through same ordeal
But major work needed to be done to fix her trust in him as she took to her account @jolenewinncoaching explaining how she struggled to trust him again because she was trying to deny herself time to deal with her own feelings.
(Image: instagram.com/jolenewinncoaching)
In the video, which was shared on Instagram where she boasts more than 3,000 followers, she said: “If your husband is struggling with pornography and you are trying really hard to trust him again, but it’s just not working.
“I want to give you a clue as to what might be the problem. This is something that I did for years. When my husband struggled with pornography, I tried to convince myself that I trusted my husband.
“Here’s the problem with that. When you tried to think your way out of how you feel, it’s impossible to do so.
“Even though I could logic my way through it, I could say all the reasons why I should trust him in all the ways that I did. How he was a great dad and a wonderful provider, and all of these amazing ways.
“He hadn’t relapsed in so long and he was being honest with me now, and I could logically list out all the reasons why I should trust him, and yet I didn’t feel like I did.
“That’s one of the biggest mistakes that I see women make, is that they try to think their way out of how they’re feeling. The first step is always just to accept how you’re feeling.
(Image: #nstagram.com/jolenewinncoaching)
“If you don’t trust him, it’s okay. That’s what I want to give you permission for today, just acknowledge that you don’t trust him and start there.”
Viewers took to the comment section grateful for her advice as they struggle with the same thing too.
One user wrote: “Great words! Thanks!”
Another added: “This!”
(Image: AFP via Getty Images)
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A few years after finding out about her husband’s habit, the mother-of-five started coaching women on how to deal with their own self-perception to stop them from blaming themselves.
She has even written a book and has been presenting ‘The Porn Addict’s Wife’ podcast since 2020 which is available to stream on Spotify.
A full list of porn addiction resources for men and women is available on her website, including a course of therapy for wives which costs $3,000 (£2.400).
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