‘How do I tell my husband he looks like Ian Beale going through his homeless phase?’
‘How do I tell my husband he looks like Ian Beale in his homeless phase?’ Mother admits she’s so turned off by partner’s new ‘Viking look’ that she no longer wants to have sex with him
- The anonymous poster took to UK parenting site Mumsnet with a hair ‘mare
- She said her husband looked like Eastenders character Ian Beale when homeless
- Mumsnet users were divided over the solution to the rather hairy problem
An anguished wife has asked for advice after her husband adopted a supposedly trendy new look that she finds so off-putting she no longer wants to have sex with him.
The woman took to UK parenting site Mumsnet to complain that her partner’s Viking-inspired makeover has him looking less like Ragnar Lothbrok and more like ‘Ian Beale in his homeless phase’.
She claimed to be ’embarrassed to be seen with him’, sharing a photo of the hipster look he’s been trying to emulate – with long hair swept to one side and a beard.
Commenters urged the woman not to say anything harsh to her husband, and questioned how her feelings could change to dramatically over a haricut, but others sided with her and said they would find the look unattractive too.
Adam Woodyatt as a homeless Ian Beale in BBC soap Eastenders – the anonymous Mumsnetter said she no longer wanted to sleep with her husband and says if the haircut was for keeps then she would have to leave
The anonymous woman said: ‘Husband has recently decided to sort of grow his hair out and grow a long straggly beard. He’s fair so his beard is red.
‘I’ve attached a Google image to illustrate the sort of look he’s going for although he does not look like this-he’s the ‘nailed it’ version
‘I hate it. I don’t find him attractive at the moment and now go out of my way to avoid sex because it actually turns me off.
‘I am embarrassed to be seen out with him- as is daughter who is 15.
Pictured above is the concept for what the Mumsnet user’s husband wanted from his new ‘do but instead she claimed that it ‘changed the look of his whole face’ resulting in her looking at other men for the first time in the marriage
The mother said that her husband was going for the Viking look but his red hair and beard combo has left her feeling the ick and she admits to ‘being embarrassed’ going out places with him.
‘For the first time in 17 years I have started looking at other men and fancying them (I wouldn’t cheat).
‘How to tell him how much I hate it? I love him to pieces and if it were a disfigurement, he had no control over I would feel differently but he’s choosing to look like this. I have told him I think it looks silly before- as have his mates – but he doesn’t seem to care.
‘He thinks it looks good? It reality he looks like Ian Beale in his homeless phase.
Mumsnet users defended the new hairstyle, saying the poster’s husband can ‘do what he wants’ with his hair and some questioned if there was something else going on for the woman to consider ending her marriage
‘Ultimately if the look stays I might leave.
‘I have a professional job- I can’t take him to black tie dos anymore because it looks as though he’s having a breakdown (he’s not)- people know what he used to look like!
‘I know it sounds shallow but every time I look at him it irritates me and I don’t find it attractive at all. It’s not a deliberate reaction- I’m being super honest under the guise of anonymity!’
A commenter joked: ‘You’ll be sorry when he retrains as a Viking and you don’t get to share all his plunders.’
Alot of women admitted to having a similar experience, with some saying that they would ‘hate’ the look too and questioning whether the poster’s husband had been ‘watching YouTube videos about being masculine’
Others users were divided in their opinions, with some admitting that they too would be turned off by the straggly look and some even questioned if it was a ‘mid-life crisis’.
One user asked if he looked like 70’s film character Catweazle, who was known for his disheveled appearance, to which the original poster said: ‘Yes, he looks like Catweazle with a dad bod. Spot on.’
Many were sympathetic toward the warrior wannabe, with one user pointing out that if the Viking boot were on the other foot, the woeful wife wouldn’t be best pleased: ‘I think while you can’t help what you find attractive/unattractive, it seems to be an extreme reaction to feel that way about someone you love changing their hair/beard’, one mother said, ‘It’s not as if he’s gained eight stone.’
‘I also can’t help but think that if you’d posting saying you’d recently changed your hairstyle and your husband told you that he now found you unattractive, you’d have lots of people telling you how completely out of order he was and that he shouldn’t be trying to control the way you look.’
Another added: ‘Facial hair is a tricky one. Yes he should be able to grow it if he wants but it can be uncomfortable, and I don’t like kissing if it hurts or feels weird.
Geoffrey Bayldon as Catweazle from a 1970’s children’s film – the poster said her husband resembled the straggly character when another user asked if that was the result of his re-style
Ouch! The anonymous woman didn’t hold back when she described her husband, who she claims to no longer fancy, as ‘Catweazle with a dad bod’
‘As for his hair on his head, that is up to him, it is just a look -grown adults who care about their appearance too much are a bit of a negative for me, but this applies to you in this post too.
‘There must be something else going on if you would end your marriage over this though.’
A Mumsnetter even went so far as to say the man ‘deserved better’, stating: ‘After your last reply that you’ll leave him if the look stays, then yes, you should leave him.
‘You’re more worried about what your colleagues think than what your husband would feel if he knew you were willing to end your marriage over something so shallow.
‘Frankly, he deserves better. Don’t continue to waste the rest of his life when he could find someone who cares about him much more than you do.
‘Imagine if he wrote this about you – I imagine you would be beyond broken.’
Another took a softer approach suggesting that maybe it was best she got him a ‘beard kit’ for Christmas.
The original poster responded by saying: ‘It’s not just the hair cut- the strangely horrible beard has changed his face.
‘If he wasn’t attracted to me because of a certain thing, I did I’d rather he told me so I could change it if I wanted to.’
Others were on her side, with a woman saying she had experienced the same thing with her ex-husband.
‘Is it a midlife crisis? My ex decided to grow a big beard and looked like a Old Father Time,’ she said ‘He was never a snappy dresser but he started to wear “comfort” clothes.
‘He had some loose teeth which could have been saved if he had been prepared to pay but he opted for a denture which he took out all the time at home!
‘He aged 10 years and I no longer found him attractive. Our sex life dwindled and we eventually split up. I feel your pain.’
Although many mothers agreed, saying they had seen their own husbands change their hair over the years – with sex dwindling as a result, most said that the upset wife should refrain from telling her husband of 17 years that he looked unattractive.
A couple of forum users piped up saying she should leave or simply stop having sex with him until he shaved off the facial furniture, but a few couldn’t help but point out the difference if a man were to write the same thing, posting: ‘If a man wrote this, every reply would be beyond vicious.’