Ranking Chelsea’s ‘biggest d***heads’ as coach who has ‘no d***heads’ rule is hired

Chelsea have employed a coach with a “no d***heads” rule, which got us thinking – who could be the biggest d***head in their squad?

All Blacks leadership manager Gilbert Enoka has joined the Blues in a short-term consultancy role to oversee team culture following their £300million+ spending spree in the January transfer window, which has left boss Graham Potter with many an ego to juggle in the changing room.

During his time with the New Zealand rugby team, Enoka famously introduced the “no d***heads” policy. Explaining it in a 2017 interview, he said: “A d***head makes everything about them.

READ MORE: Manager who introduced ‘no d***heads’ rule to All Blacks is hired by Chelsea

“They are people who put themselves ahead of the team, people who think they’re entitled to things, expect the rules to be different for them, people operating deceitfully in the dark, or being unnecessarily loud about their work.”

So we at Daily Star Sport are kindly giving Enoka a run down of who he might expect to have the most trouble with upon his arrival at Chelsea.

Who would you warn Enoka about? Let us know in the comments section.

Kepa Arrizabalaga

Kepa has got his head down and worked his way back into the Blues side after losing his No. 1 spot. But his antics in the 2019 Carabao Cup final, when he refused to be substituted by Maurizio Sarri, showed he’s prone to a temper tantrum or two. Likely d***head rating: 7/10.

Edouard Mendy

While he may be a nervous wreck with the ball at his feet, Mendy has never had any behavioural issues at Stamford Bridge. And he’s taken being dropped to the bench by Potter well, all things considered. Likely d***head rating: 2/10.

Wesley Fofana

Centre-back Fofana has spent most of the season out injured, which Leicester fans will no doubt see as karma doing its job after he forced through a £70m move last summer. It seems he’s not afraid to get what he wants by any means necessary. Likely d***head rating: 7/10.

Benoit Badiashile

Chelsea have kept three clean sheets since £34m January arrival Badiashile slotted into the backline. He offered a touching thanks to former club Monaco upon his departure, posting on social media: “I arrived a child, and leave a man. I will forever have red and white in my heart.” Likely d***head rating: 1/10.

Kalidou Koulibaly

He may not have had the start to life at Chelsea that most would’ve hoped for, but it doesn’t look like £34m man Koulibaly has a bad bone in his body. He even went out of his way to phone Blues legend John Terry to ask permission to use the No. 26 shirt last summer. Likely d***head rating: 0/10.

Thiago Silva

A model professional, Thiago Silva wouldn’t still be bossing it as one of the Premier League’s best centre-backs if he were a nuisance behind the scenes. Enoka shouldn’t have any problems here. Likely d***head rating: 0/10.

Marc Cucurella

Like Fofana, ex-Brighton star Cucurella did everything he could to get his big money move through. Since arriving for £56m, however, he’s not lived up to his price tag, and competition for spaces may lead to unrest. Likely d***head rating: 7/10.

Ben Chilwell

Breaking Covid rules by partying and getting embroiled in an animal welfare controversy after playing tug-of-war with a tiger – Chilwell isn’t squeaky clean. There’ll be bigger fish to fry for Enoka, though. Likely d***head rating: 5/10.

Reece James

There’s no doubting his haircuts are controversial, especially the green number he sported back in October. But James is sound as a pound. Likely d***head rating: 0/10.

Cesar Azpilicueta

Club captain Azpilicueta is a locker room leader at Stamford Bridge, and away from the pitch he’s committed his time and money to a number of charitable causes. Likely d***head rating: 0/10.

Enzo Fernandez

Benfica were less than impressed when Fernandez disobeyed their orders and flew back to his native Argentina for New Year’s. It’s also probably hard not to get ahead of yourself when you’ve just become the British record transfer for a sum of £107m. Likely d***head rating: 8/10.

N’Golo Kante

Perhaps the nicest man in football, Kante’s smile could arguably bring about world peace if it was projected on giant screens around the globe. From driving around in his Mini Cooper to playing FIFA at a fan’s house, he’s a class act all round. Likely d***head rating: 0/10.

Mateo Kovacic

Since arriving from Real Madrid in 2018, Kovacic has been in and out of the side. But at no point has he taken issue with his role and there’s nothing really bad to say about him. Likely d***head rating: 1/10.

Conor Gallagher

Gallagher largely keeps himself to himself away from football. On the pitch, however, he absolutely loves a yellow card – so he’s getting bumped up purely for that. Likely d***head rating: 4/10.

Ruben Loftus-Cheek

The ladies fancy him and the men want to be him – we’re not sure anyone has a bad word to say about Loftus-Cheek. Likely d***head rating: 0/10.

Mykhaylo Mudryk

Just a matter of weeks after completing his transfer worth up to £88m, Mudryk has found himself the subject of an FA probe over a TikTok he posted in which he sings the N-word and stirred up controversy by posting a Israel flag on his Instagram story. He also made it *very* clear he wanted to join Arsenal instead. Likely d***head rating: 9/10.

Mason Mount

Midfielder Mount was also at the party with Chilwell which police attended in April 2021. However, all of his managers have sung his praises, so much so that he’s been accused of being a teacher’s pet. Likely d***head rating: 1/10.

Raheem Sterling

Liverpool fans would probably want to give him a 10, and he’d likely admit he wasn’t the best behaved youngster. But Sterling has matured and is said to have a great attitude in training. Likely d***head rating: 2/10.

Christian Pulisic

Pulisic was forced to delete a social media video which showed him performing skills above an endangered species of fish in July 2021. He’s also had a moan about his position in the squad in the past, which isn’t going to improve after the influx of new signings. Likely d***head rating: 6/10.

Hakim Ziyech

You’ve got to commend Ziyech. After his loan move to PSG collapsed at the 12th hour on Transfer Deadline Day, he lined up for the Blues against Fulham just three days later, handling the fiasco like a pro. Likely d***head rating: 0/10.

Kai Havertz

Havertz will always have a place in Chelsea history thanks to his winning goal in the 2021 Champions League final, even if he’s flattered to deceive otherwise. Given his social media is filled with cute dog snaps, it’s hard to imagine him causing issues. Likely d***head rating: 1/10.

Joao Felix

Getting a red card on your debut isn’t the best way to endear yourself to your new fans, although Felix had impressed while he was still on the pitch. Given he’s only got a matter of months to impress on loan from Atletico Madrid, his questionable attitude may rear its ugly head. Likely d***head rating: 5/10.

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang

There’s a reason Aubameyang has fallen out of favour under Potter, and it’s the same one which caused Mikel Arteta to freeze him out at Arsenal. The striker is the very definition of a bad apple and won’t be sticking around much longer. Likely d***head rating: 10/10.

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