Sexpert explains why British men are better at bonking than ‘bam bam, goodbye’ Americans
Brits and Americans are like chalk and cheese when it comes to dating, according to a leading relationship expert.
And that could well give blokes from the UK the edge when it comes to sex.
Stereotypical views often categorise British men as overly polite, like a 1990s Hugh Grant character, and Americans as loud and crass.
READ MORE: Sexologist shares 10 Valentine’s Day bonking hacks to give your lover a ‘big O’ climax
But these traits could impact performance between the sheets.
Natalia Kobylkina, 39, has more than 20 years experience as a relationship psychologist and has helped more than half a million people become better lovers.
Her clients can be found across both US and the UK, and she told the Daily Star why Brits may have the edge when it comes to the dating game and sex.
Fast food and fast relationships
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It’s not just fast food that dominates the US, it’s also fast relationships.
Natalia said: “In big cities like New York, people don’t have time.”
The US has a greater “culture of fast food and fast relationships,” Natalia said, adding: “They meet, ‘bam, bam’ goodbye”.
A poll on Natalia’s social media account found that most people said they have sex after the first date.
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(Image: Natalia Kobylkina)
The pace of American dating is uncanny, and she explained: “It usually happens very fast. Fast coffee, for five, ten minutes or so.
“They then either invite them for a second date or immediately ask their partner to go to the bedroom.”
One reason for these “junk” relationships is that “people are more stressed and faster than in the UK,” Natalia claimed.
More than one in four people in the States reported being so stressed that they “cannot function,” according to research by the American Psychology Association.
Romance isn’t dead
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America’s high octane culture means that romance can often get pushed to the wayside.
Natalia said that a common question she’s heard from her US clients’ anecdotes of their first dates is: “How much do you make?”
But in the UK, however, her clients are “more romantic” and “old-fashioned”.
She said: “[British] men can come with flowers on the first date, and a box of chocolates. Sometimes, they are willing to offer more of their time. Being a gentleman is never old fashion”.
And on the topic of speed, slowing things down can help men embody their inner Casanova.
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Natalia said that the cornerstone of romance is to take your time and “show a woman she’s special.”
She added: “Every woman is afraid to look like a sl*t. Show her you’re a gentleman, then she can relax.”
She said just look at the differences in movies: “Us films always have a happy ending, UK [films] are more deep.
“And after the movie, you need to ask yourself what the editor was trying to tell me.”
The missing link
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(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
“We’re missing closeness,” Natalia is told by her US clients time and time again.
One stark difference with Brits is they often have “more communication before intimacy, and not ask them immediately to sleep together”.
A lot of Natalia’s American clients aren’t looking for a deep relationship.
But being “more deep” and “more connected” is vital for “more communication”.
In fact, there’s such a lack of communication that partners are on different wavelengths when it comes to the bedroom.
This leads to “avoiding sex, which is avoiding closeness”.
But she urged people not to be shy and to open up about what gets you going.
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(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
She said: “Many couples come to me after 15 years of marriage and say they don’t have a sex life.
“When we speak [openly], it’s amazing because it changes their sex… and they have the best sex in their lives.”
If it turns you on, “tell them”, “show and explain what you expect” from you partner, to ensure you’re satisfied, and don’t get the wrong end of the stick.
“He mustn’t guess,” she adds, as this is when things go downhill.
She said: “If you want something, tell it, don’t expect your partner to guess it”
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