PLATELL’S PEOPLE: Don’t go to the King’s Coronation, Harry, and simply wish your dad well 

Despite the horrible allegations of bullying and racism that Harry and Meghan have thrown at the Royal Family, the King has maintained a dignified silence throughout.

Like his mother Queen Elizabeth, he’s never complained, never explained. But behind closed doors Charles must have been deeply hurt — just as any loving father would be after such public attacks.

Perhaps even more unforgivable for Charles was the fact that Harry attacked his wife Camilla as well as William and Kate.

Yet, from the Oprah interview to the docu-series and then the memoir Spare, Charles the dad never withdrew the olive branch.

Insiders say the King has always insisted that, even though Harry and Megan are no longer working royals, they are family and therefore welcome at any family event, including the Coronation.

But, as the Mail reveals today, we now learn Harry wants a private apology from his father and brother before he will even consider attending. It is an outrageous demand. But an utterly predictable one.

Apology for what? Is Harry really so emotionally stunted he feels that, having dumped all his vitriol on his family, he is the victim? Does he lack any shred of humility? The King’s heart has never hardened against Harry and he is prepared to speak to him — ‘he’s his son, he loves him’, explains one insider. But William won’t think of it and is said to be unrepentant, as he should be.

Well done, Wills. Good on you for standing up to your bullying brother — for that’s what Harry is, a vindictive, self-obsessed bully absurdly draped in his sheep’s clothing of saving the world.

Even in America, they are fed up with the Sussexes. A new Newsweek poll shows Harry’s approval rating has fallen a soul-crushing 48 per cent since December, and Meghan’s by 40 per cent. His net approval rating now stands at -10, hers at -17. In comparison, Prince Andrew is -2.

Licking their wounds in their Californian mansion, these deluded narcissists seem bent on making things worse. Demanding an apology will only make them more unpopular.

They could, of course, do themselves — and us — a big favour by recusing themselves from the Coronation and simply wishing Charles and Camilla all the best. But she’s too vain and he’s too stupid.

That’s a bad bet, Tindall

Bad enough that Zara and Mike Tindall’s bleak new kitchen resembles a washed-down abattoir, but they were also being interviewed for William Hill’s YouTube channel. Male role models like Tindall should not be promoting an online betting operation that sucks in millions of people — often to a life of addiction and misery.

• Ridiculous that the King is paying privately for his brother Andrew’s protection when the only one who might want to harm him is his cling-on ex Fergie, who still lives with him in the £30 million mansion he fears he’ll be kicked out of. She must be furious her freeloading days may be numbered.

Jezza thwarts the wokies

After Jeremy Clarkson stepped in the manure with wholly unacceptable comments about Meghan, the streaming giants Netflix and Amazon Prime, and even ITV, threatened to cancel him. The woke brigade were triumphant. Now his farm show has broken all records as the most-watched original show on Amazon Prime, toppling the Tolkien spin-off The Rings of Power. True power lies with viewers — and Clarkson is harvesting them in their millions.

Not loading the dishwasher properly and not turning lights out are among the top ten domestic disputes that drive couples mad. Try being single, when you long to row with anyone about glasses placed the wrong way up in the dishwasher so water splashes all over you when you unload it. 

• Final word on Isis bride Shamima Begum being refused entry into the UK after she boasted the Manchester Arena bombing was ‘fair’ comes from Jade Clough, who was injured in the blast: ‘Those innocent pop fans never came home . . . so why should she?’ 

Schoolgirls in Merseyside were left in tears after having the length of their skirts checked by male teachers. Blimey, at my old school they made us kneel on a concrete floor to check ours, one teacher to measure the length and another to make sure we were wearing regulation green bloomers. Just remembering it gives me Post Traumatic Skirt Disorder!

Lily-Pose! What a sad picture of Depp’s girl

Johnny Depp’s daughter Lily-Rose poses for i-D magazine in a replica of her dad’s ex-girlfriend Kate Moss’s infamous ‘naked dress’, even imitating the supermodel’s 90s picture languidly smoking a cigarette.

A bit creepy and a bit sad. Superstar Kate’s picture was circulated worldwide in every newspaper and magazine. Lily-Rose is clearly just desperate for exposure.

Westminster wars

Bob Geldof, 71, gets hit by a snowflake storm after repeatedly misgendering Sam Smith by failing to call the non-binary singer they/them on ITV’s This Morning. Since Geldof worked with Smith in 2014 when they still identified as a bloke, maybe people should give Bob a break. 

• When formerly unseen 1982 pictures of Princess Diana cuddling newborn William go under the hammer, I hope the Prince of Wales buys two of them — the one of his mother gazing adoringly at him and also that of a beaming Charles with his first son on his lap. A reminder his parents were once truly, madly, deeply in love and happy. 

Welby in the wrong…again

The Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby says that in the event of a Ukraine victory, Russia must not be ‘crushed’, punished or forced to pay reparations for destroying half of that country and killing thousands of its civilians and soldiers.

Is there any subject where tone-deaf Welby doesn’t come down on the wrong side of the argument?

Much to the dismay of loyal Radio 2 listeners soppy Vernon Kay — lesser half of Strictly’s Tess Daly — is to replace the brilliant Ken Bruce. Over-excited BBC execs say he has ‘a raft of fresh new ideas and content’.

Would that content include advice on how to send sex texts to women who are not your wife?

Friends say Brad Pitt, 59, is so enamoured with girlfriend Ines de Ramon, 29, that on Valentine’s Day he sent her a gorgeous bouquet of flowers — and a baguette. How odd — a hint svelte Ines should eat more?

Pass the smelling salts if it’s a reference to something more, er, intimate!