New ebook serves up dazzling quotes from our esteemed public figures

From Winston Churchill’s love of lunch to Jerry Hall‘s recommendation for lovemaking and the late Queen’s withering view of soccer, a brand new ebook serves up a choice of deliciously sharp and dazzling quotes from our most esteemed public figures.

Love & Loving

‘Yield to temptation. It could not cross your method once more’ – U.S. sci-fi author Robert Heinlein

‘Over a decade or so, the rhythm of most {couples}’ intercourse lives goes from tri-weekly to strive weekly to strive weakly.’ – Satirist Victor Lewis-Smith

‘Women are programmed to like utterly and males are programmed to unfold it round. We are fools to suppose it is any totally different.’ – Novelist Beryl Bainbridge

‘You know ‘that look’ girls get when they need intercourse? Me neither.’ – Steve Martin

‘We had loads in frequent. I liked him and he liked him.’ – Actress Shelley Winters on her ex-husband

‘A person wishes a girl, however a girl wishes the will of a person.’ – Madame de Stael, eminent salon hostess in Napoleonic France

‘It’s solely whenever you see individuals wanting ridiculous that you simply realise how a lot you’re keen on them.’ – Agatha Christie

‘When selecting between two evils, I at all times decide the one I have never tried earlier than.’ – Hollywood actress Mae West

‘There are numerous mechanical units which improve sexual arousal, significantly in girls. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.’ – U.S. author PJ O’Rourke

‘Mama informed me, be a maid in the lounge, a prepare dinner within the kitchen and a mistress within the bed room. But I rent somebody to be a maid and somebody to prepare dinner, so I can deal with the remainder.’ – Jerry Hall

Cashing in

‘Too many individuals spend cash they do not have on issues they do not wish to impress individuals they do not like.’ – U.S. humorist Will Rogers

‘A financial institution is a spot that can lend you cash for those who can show that you do not want it.’ – Bob Hope

‘All I ask is the prospect to show that cash cannot make me completely happy.’ – Spike Milligan

‘There are two instances in a person’s life when he shouldn’t speculate: when he cannot afford it and when he can.’ – Mark Twain

‘The world shouldn’t be pushed by greed. It’s pushed by envy.’ – U.S. investor Charlie Munger

Secrets

‘A secret is one thing that’s solely repeated to at least one individual at a time.’ – Writer Robert McCrum

‘He that has a secret shouldn’t solely cover it, however cover that he has it to cover.’ – Philosopher Thomas Carlyle

Celebrity standing

‘The good factor about being a star is that whenever you bore individuals, they suppose it is their fault.’ – Henry Kissinger

‘A star is an individual who works exhausting all his life to develop into well-known, then wears darkish glasses to keep away from being recognised.’ – U.S. comic Fred Allen

‘There are two sorts of nice males: the little nice males, who make all these round them really feel little, and the nice nice males, who make all these round them really feel nice.’ – Writer G.Ok. Chesterton

‘When I left the eating room after sitting subsequent to Mr Gladstone, I assumed he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting subsequent to Mr Disraeli, I assumed I used to be the cleverest lady in England.’ – Unknown however typically attributed to Jenny Jerome, Winston Churchill’s mom

‘Malibu is the one place on the earth the place you’ll be able to lie on the sand and take a look at the celebs or, for those who’re fortunate, vice versa.’ – U.S. comic Joan Rivers

Queen Elizabeth II

The Queen was by no means a lot of a soccer fan, says former FA chairman David Triesman. 

‘There are not any horses,’ he says, ‘and, strive as we’d, we might by no means discover a method of involving horses in soccer.’ 

He did as soon as get the Queen to a match at Wembley, which she appeared to get pleasure from. Afterwards, Triesman requested who she thought had performed finest. ‘The band of the Scots Guards,’ she replied.

The secret of happiness

‘Happiness is having a big, loving, caring, close-knit household in one other metropolis.’ – U.S. comic George Burns

‘We do not snicker as a result of we’re completely happy, we’re completely happy as a result of we snicker.’ – U.S. thinker William James

‘Puritanism . . . the haunting worry that somebody, someplace, could also be completely happy.’ – U.S. satirist H.L. Mencken

‘If ignorance is bliss, this boy is in for a lifetime of undiluted happiness.’ – School report quoted in a letter to The Times

‘When I’m good, I’m excellent, however when I’m unhealthy, I’m higher.’ – Mae West

‘A lifetime of happiness? No man might bear it.’ – George Bernard Shaw

‘The finest solution to cheer your self is to attempt to cheer any individual else up.’ – Mark Twain

‘If you at all times do what pursuits you, a minimum of one individual is happy.’ – Actress Katharine Hepburn

‘My grandmother informed me to search out one thing good to say about everybody and say it.’ – Jilly Cooper

‘Three issues in life are vital: the primary is to be type; the second is to be type; and the third is to be type.’ – U.S. novelist Henry James

Marriage

‘I’m a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I depart a person, I maintain his home.’ – Zsa Zsa Gabor

‘My spouse and I had been completely happy for 20 years. Then we met.’ – U.S. comic Rodney Dangerfield

‘A wedding is at all times made up of two people who find themselves ready to swear that solely the opposite one snores.’ – Novelist Terry Pratchett

‘Bigamy is having one spouse too many. Monogamy is similar’. – Oscar Wilde

‘Never really feel regret for what you could have thought of your spouse; she has thought a lot worse issues about you.’ – French biologist Jean Rostand

How to get by 

‘Don’t get so busy making a dwelling that you simply neglect to make a life.’ – Dolly Parton

‘If at first you do not succeed, strive, strive once more. Then give up. No use being a rattling idiot about it.’ – U.S. comic W.C. Fields

‘Always fly first-class. Or your youngsters will.’ – Jeremy Clarkson

‘The most tough factor is the choice to behave; the remainder is merely tenacity.’ – Amelia Earhart, the primary lady to fly solo throughout the Atlantic

‘It’s a humorous factor about life; for those who refuse to just accept something however one of the best, you fairly often get it.’ – W. Somerset Maugham

‘You do not get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate.’ – Boxing promoter Don King

Advice? No thanks!

‘We are by no means so beneficiant as when giving recommendation.’ – French Seventeenth-century moralist Francois de La Rochefoucauld

‘I at all times cross on good recommendation. It’s the one factor to do with it. It isn’t of any use to oneself.’ – Oscar Wilde

‘I’ve discovered one of the simplest ways to present recommendation to your youngsters is to search out out what they need after which advise them to do it.’ – U.S. President Harry Truman

‘Never inform individuals tips on how to do issues. Tell them what to do and they’re going to shock you with their ingenuity.’ – World War II U.S. normal George Patton

Social life 

‘If you have not received something good to say about anyone, come and sit subsequent to me.’ – U.S. socialite Alice Roosevelt Longworth

‘Hear no evil, converse no evil, and you will not be invited to cocktail events.’ – Oscar Wilde  

‘You should come once more when you could have much less time.’ – Painter Walter Sickert to a departing visitor

Business brains

‘When you could have exhausted all potentialities, bear in mind this — you have not.’ – Thomas Edison

‘Doubt kills extra goals than failure ever will.’ – U.S. poet Suzy Kassem

‘Talent units the ground, character units the ceiling.’ – Bill Belichick, American soccer coach

‘Be type to everybody on the best way up; you will meet the identical individuals on the best way down.’ – U.S. playwright Wilson Mizner

‘The one factor I’ve realized through the years is the distinction between taking one’s work critically and one’s self critically. The first is crucial and the second is disastrous.’ – Prima ballerina Margot Fonteyn

‘A superb chief is somebody who takes just a little greater than his share of the blame and rather less than his share of the credit score.’ – U.S. creator John C. Maxwell

‘I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and take a look at it for hours.’ – Novelist Jerome Ok. Jerome

‘The distinction between profitable individuals and really profitable individuals is that very profitable individuals say no to nearly the whole lot.’ – U.S. investor Warren Buffett

The glass is half-empty

‘The good half about being a pessimist is that you’re continually being both confirmed proper or pleasantly stunned.’ – U.S. columnist George Will

‘A pessimist is a person who appears each methods earlier than crossing a one-way avenue.’ – Canadian author Laurence J. Peter

‘Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.’ – George Bernard Shaw

Friends and enemies

‘You will develop into method much less involved what different individuals consider you whenever you realise how seldom they do.’ – U.S. author David Foster Wallace

‘Never converse ailing of your self. Your buddies will say sufficient on that topic.’ – Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand, Seventeenth-century French statesman

‘Charm is the power to be really thinking about different individuals.’ – U.S. photographer Richard Avedon

‘Attention is the rarest and purest type of generosity.’ – French thinker Simone Weil

‘You can inform extra about an individual by what he says about others than you’ll be able to by what others say about him.’ – Audrey Hepburn

‘Whenever a pal succeeds, just a little one thing in me dies.’ – Gore Vidal

‘One should not be a name-dropper, as Her Majesty remarked to me yesterday.’ – Tory politician Norman St John-Stevas

‘Nothing provides one individual so nice a bonus over one other, as to stay at all times cool and unruffled below all circumstances.’ – U.S. founding father Thomas Jefferson

‘Sometimes one likes silly individuals for his or her folly, higher than clever individuals for his or her knowledge.’ – Victorian novelist Elizabeth Gaskell

‘Usually when one weeps, one weeps for oneself. That’s the horrible fact.’ – TV critic Clive James

‘Very typically probably the most illiberal and narrow-minded individuals are those who congratulate themselves on their tolerance and open-mindedness.’ – Journalist Christopher Hitchens

‘Whatever it’s possible you’ll make sure of, make sure a minimum of of this: that you’re dreadfully like different individuals.’ – U.S. poet and critic James Russell Lowell

‘Among these whom I like or admire, I can discover no frequent denominator, however amongst these whom I like, I can: all of them make me snicker.’ – Poet W.H. Auden

The grim reaper

‘When I die, I wish to go peacefully like my grandfather did — in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming just like the passengers in his automobile.’ – Comedian Bob Monkhouse

On February 6, 1952, King George VI died in his sleep after a day of taking pictures at Sandringham. ‘I hope you’ll organize one thing like that for me,’ Winston Churchill later informed his physician. ‘But do not do it until I let you know.’

Writers and writing

‘Jane Austen is Mills and Boon written by a genius.’ – Crime novelist P.D. James

‘I’ve made this letter longer than standard, solely as a result of I’ve not had the time to make it shorter.’ – Mathematician Blaise Pascal

‘I’m enclosing two tickets to the primary night time of my new play. Bring a pal . . . when you’ve got one.’ – George Bernard Shaw

‘Cannot probably attend first night time, will attend second… if there’s one.’ – Winston Churchill

‘Make ’em cry, make ’em snicker, make ’em wait.’ – Victorian novelist and playwright Wilkie Collins

‘This shouldn’t be a novel to be tossed apart frivolously. It needs to be thrown with nice pressure.’ – Dorothy Parker in a ebook evaluation

The younger

‘There’s an entire Twitter technology of people that dangle round ready to be offended. They would not have received the warfare, would they?’ – Actor Robbie Coltrane

‘Children start by loving their dad and mom; as they get older they choose them; typically they forgive them.’ – Oscar Wilde

The world and the way we see it

‘By the time a person realises that his father was proper, he has a son who thinks he is mistaken.’ – U.S. pianist Charles Wadsworth

‘The French, not like — and this can’t be mentioned typically sufficient — the Germans, hate the English. They hate us as a result of in warfare we’ve by no means been defeated. While they, for the reason that battle of Leipzig in 1813, have by no means been victorious.’ – MP and diarist Alan Clark

‘Times are unhealthy. Children not obey their dad and mom and everyone seems to be writing a ebook.’ – Roman statesman Cicero

M’learned pal

‘A lawyer is an individual who writes a ten,000-word doc and calls it a quick.’ – Franz Kafka

‘A foul lawyer is one who could make a case stretch on for ages. A superb one could make it go on even longer.’ – Victoria Dowd (a lawyer)

Politics

‘Under capitalism, man exploits man, whereas below communism it is the opposite method spherical.’ – Old Czech joke

‘Communism is the longest path from capitalism to capitalism.’ – Old Russian joke