Why I refuse to purchase ANY presents this Christmas

My plan for this yr’s Christmas began on Boxing Day final yr. Surrounded by wrapping paper and deserted presents, I steered to my husband Chris that subsequent time we should not purchase something — for one another or the youngsters.

To say he was excited by this might be an understatement. He’s by no means been significantly all for presents from me (or for me). The greatest reward I ever acquired him was a pack of David Beckham/H&M underpants which had been mendacity on my desk after I left the workplace late one Christmas Eve. (Huge due to the H&M press workplace, and David, if you happen to’re studying, my husband would really like you to carry this vary again, please.)

For my birthday this yr he acquired me a copper pan. I hadn’t realised I needed or wanted one however, apparently, he is saving my life by avoiding Teflon and ‘for ever chemical compounds’.

I inform you what’s for ever: the porridge caught to the underside of my birthday reward.

Not shopping for something for my husband is trivial as a result of he should buy for himself. But not shopping for presents for our two women, aged six and three, is a trickier proposition.

Chris took some time to get his head round the concept we’re not shopping for them something both.

‘Ah! So you imply Father Christmas will carry all of it for them?’ he mentioned with a wink.

‘No, Chris. The massive man with the white beard doesn’t exist. That would nonetheless be us shopping for for them, and as I defined, we’re not shopping for them something.’

He seemed panicked and I used to be compelled, as soon as once more, to hearken to the story of the best (and probably solely) trauma of his childhood.

It was 1987 and he was satisfied that the biggest current below the tree was a plastic mannequin of He-Man’s fortress, Castle Grayskull. It turned out to be a model of Castle Grayskull, however one which had been lovingly made by his dad. However charming that sounds to us now, for nine-year-old Chris, Christmas was ruined.

I patiently let him end and defined I understood all that, however we nonetheless weren’t going to be shopping for any presents and here is why. We have, at a conservative estimate, the equal of two whole bathtubs stuffed with plastic items: Lego, Playmobil, Sylvanian Families, mannequin animals, mannequin dinosaurs — the checklist goes on.

We have one other two bathtubs full of soppy toys, even supposing every woman exhibits affection for just one. In Lyra’s case a greying rabbit known as Rabbit, and for Sasha a tatty monkey known as, sure, Monkey.

These have been accrued as presents, hand-me-downs and rewards for doing what we’d like them to do after we want them to do it; ending programs of antibiotics, making use of eczema cream, and so on. And Chris is especially vulnerable to responsible airport purchases on the way in which dwelling from work journeys. Lego appears to have opened shops in almost each airport to accommodate this urge.

We’re more and more conscious of the worldwide impression of our purchases. Everything we purchase the youngsters will go into landfill. Much of it already has.

I discover it arduous to abdomen that the primary focus wherever you look presently of yr is to purchase, purchase, purchase. Given the cost-of-living disaster, it feels obscene that there is such an enormous quantity of stress on everybody and that the stuff we purchase feels extra disposable than ever.

Have a take into consideration how a lot of what you bought and gave final yr remains to be in use. Like everybody else, we’re busy and, due to this fact, responsible of these last-minute foolish purchases. Chris significantly would get techy stuff. Such as a pair of walkie-talkies for the youngsters which have been so superior they could not use them, and anyway, inside the week we would misplaced the charger.

He acquired me a health tracker that I hadn’t requested for, was barely offended by and once more had a particular charging gadget which when it failed could not get replaced with out shopping for the entire thing once more.

The earlier yr it was a elaborate electrical toothbrush which I did not need. But I can not fairly bear to throw these things away, so it lives within the drawer of units with out chargers and chargers with out units.

Concerns about materials extra at Christmas are as previous because the age of consumerism, however with the planet on hearth and plastics all over the place it looks as if we’re at a second of reckoning and have been for a while.

Don’t get me fallacious, I really like Christmas. I reside in the home I grew up in and it warms my coronary heart watching my youngsters run downstairs on Christmas morning, my father’s Phil Spector LP enjoying on his previous document participant. They’re having the identical great Christmases I keep in mind.

The women are fortunate to have three remaining grandparents, eight aunts and uncles and 7 cousins, and most of us handle to get collectively on the massive day in some way. So Christmas Day will really feel Christmassy though I’ve compelled this rule on the household, telling my mom, in-laws and the brothers and sisters to not purchase the ladies something.

My sister was appalled and really cross that she will probably be considered the imply previous aunt. Just as a result of I wish to strip the enjoyment out of Christmas, why ought to she must?

If presents actually introduced the ladies happiness for greater than actually a number of moments, I is perhaps extra persuaded, however the adverts promote a unique concept to the unhappy merchandise you discover inside, that are rapidly deserted.

There is a hardcore of some Sylvanian figures and Schleich animals which get common outings, however they make up round 1 per cent of the overall.

The women are happiest doing easy stuff: tormenting the cat, trashing the lounge, constructing forts, drawing on the furnishings, accumulating snails within the backyard, annoying everybody else within the park and, to be completely trustworthy, watching TV. They don’t want, and even need, extra stuff.

And my reward refusal is just not one-sided. I do not wish to give presents to my household, however primarily I do not wish to obtain them.

Gifts are sophisticated; they arrive with obligations and expectations. For me, presents include guilt. I’m overwhelmed by the quantity of stuff coming into the home. And gift-giving is a part of the cycle.

I instantly really feel obliged to go and purchase the giver or their baby one thing they could not want or need. This is just not a well-liked opinion, however present-buying can put stress on different individuals to purchase for you — nonetheless generously you give a present, it is arduous to not count on one thing in return.

So, how are we planning to do that?

Last yr Lyra (5 on the time) begged for a violin. I checked out shopping for one, however one thing instructed me it may not be a clever funding. Perhaps it was the actual fact her little sister smashes all the things Lyra owns, or perhaps it was as a result of she was a totally regular five-year-old and does not present curiosity in something after the preliminary novelty has worn off.

We ended up renting one at a really cheap value, and I can rely on one hand the variety of occasions that instrument has left its case within the final 12 months. In reality, I can rely the occasions on one finger.

Returning the violin in immaculate situation for an additional baby to disregard was essentially the most validating expertise of my yr and renting once more this yr will be sure that Christmas Day has some magic below the tree with out guilt about landfill.

This yr we’re updating Lyra’s bike rental. She has had the identical bike from bikeclub.com for a yr and it’s now so miniature she has began to appear like she’s performing a circus act when she rides it. If we hadn’t rented it, we would now be making an attempt to promote it on eBay — or not fairly getting spherical to promoting it on eBay.

Now the bike will get returned and totally refurbished for an additional baby and Lyra will get a much bigger reward below the tree, albeit a second-hand rental one.

Sasha will get a dolls home that is been up within the loft since Lyra outgrew it two years in the past. We’ll get that down and wrap it up, and he or she’ll be over the moon and can play with it enthusiastically for a full ten minutes — precisely the identical period of time as she would a brand new reward — earlier than she strikes onto smashing Christmas tree ornaments and demanding one other mince pie.

When it involves the thrill of bulging stockings, I’ve had a long-term technique. For the previous six months I’ve been quietly confiscating toys and teddies and any hand-me-downs from cousins. These are lengthy forgotten and can seem as if new on Christmas Day in stockings hung from the ends of their beds.

So the youngsters could have presents; they’ll imagine Father Christmas has been. The brandy could have been drunk, the carrot nibbled and the mince pie decreased to crumbs. But we is not going to have purchased a single factor.

And that’s the level. Not to purchase stuff.

Chris’s current to me and the youngsters will probably be much less time on his telephone, much less work at weekends. We could have extra outings to climbing partitions, wildlife parks, and so on. Things they’re going to keep in mind and can be taught from. Committing to those actions — we’ve put dates within the diary in order that it is not simply empty guarantees — has made us realise these are a lot more durable presents for us to provide.

Both of us have been shopping for plastic as a alternative for significant time being current as dad and mom.

Chris and I’ll do the identical for one another. In the previous yr we’ve gone out collectively as a pair with out the youngsters as many occasions as Lyra performed that violin.

In reality, we’ve already booked the theatre and a babysitter for a night in March. I’ve little question that I’ll sleep via it, however we’ll be collectively.

I will not be shopping for for different adults, both. I’ve at all times taken this method at work and in my friendship group with the Secret Santa.

Whoever attracts me is aware of they’re going to be getting one thing from Choose Love, the place you should purchase important provides for refugees and displaced individuals internationally.

I apprehensive that individuals would assume this was a bit holier than thou. But, actually, it is gone down effectively, and increasingly persons are donating on behalf of others to charity.

We’re effectively conscious that the no‑current method might not final for ever with our youngsters. It will definitely get more durable as they grow old and extra conscious. They’re already changing into increasingly acutely aware of what is regular amongst their pals. (There are rumours somebody in Lyra’s yr is getting a telephone).

However, we’ve pledged that, for so long as we are able to, we are going to attempt to persuade them that Christmas actually may be about household and never issues.

And, as they grow old, they’re extra in a position to perceive that experiences are actually what they get pleasure from essentially the most, even when they can not open them on Christmas Day.

If I can drum this into the youngsters, maybe Chris will lastly heal from the Grayskull trauma of ’87.

To underline the lesson, our Christmas film is not going to be Bond together with his fancy vehicles and costly watches — it will likely be The Grinch: ‘Maybe Christmas, he thought, does not come from a retailer. Maybe Christmas, maybe, means a little bit bit extra.’