STEVEN BARTLETT on the key of nice intercourse

You’ll by no means meet a man extra in love than entrepreneur Steven Bartlett.

It’s Valentine’s Day and he arrives for our assembly dressed head to toe in black Lycra like the person from the outdated Milk Tray adverts. 

He has simply exited a limo stuffed with contemporary purple roses. ‘I’ve cancelled all conferences this afternoon to get again dwelling to shock my girlfriend,’ he pronounces.

He means Melanie Vaz Lopes, a 31-year-old French nutritionist and influencer who he met on Instagram in 2016. It seems like a really trendy romance. As nicely because the flowers, he has purchased presents and made her a scrapbook. But later, after the lavish gifting, they’ll have a joint on-line remedy session.

‘We’ll speak in regards to the relationship; what works and what we hope to enhance,’ he says. ‘Then dinner.’

I do know it’s ahead, however I ponder what sort of intercourse they’ll be having? In 2021 Bartlett grew to become the youngest ‘dragon’ on the BBC’s Dragons’ Den however he’s finest referred to as the host of The Diary of a CEO podcast (the preferred in Britain). 

Last yr, throughout an episode with intercourse and relationships professional Tracey Cox, he provided listeners the secrets and techniques to ‘great sex every time’. 

What’s extra, Bartlett is toned and good-looking and Vaz Lopes has a diet plan and cookbook known as The Booty Academy so it’s all very promising and but… I’ve heard they put on goggles (made by efficiency teaching firm Whoop, through which Bartlett is an investor) to mattress.

‘I wear a sleep mask to block light,’ he says. ‘But no, we don’t put on goggles throughout intercourse.’

Bartlett additionally advised Tracey Cox he might ‘smell’ {couples} who weren’t commonly getting it on. How does he hold it from his nostrils?

‘Talk about what you like and need in the bedroom,’ he says. ‘Problems arise when there are unexpressed feelings, and that goes for business, too. Relationships fail when there’s a build-up of contempt. Contempt comes if you don’t talk and communication is one among your controllables.’

Five years in the past Forbes journal estimated Bartlett to be value £71 million (that determine doesn’t take into consideration the expansion of his moneyspinning podcast). So it’s no shock he generally defaults to wonkish enterprise jargon. Make no mistake, although, he’s grateful to have discovered love.

‘When I was younger I was riddled with trauma around relationships because my parents were often in conflict,’ he says.

‘I bulls***ted myself. I made excuses because I was scared of being in a relationship. But really, I feared conflict and the loss of freedom, so I went on a journey and found a person who got over the wall and changed me from the inside. Believe me, I didn’t need anybody to recover from the wall…’

So what did Vaz Lopes do contained in the wall?

‘I had a set of evidence about relationships from my childhood. By the way she conducts herself she changed that. She showed me relationships aren’t about being trapped in a cage or robbing you of your freedom. Growing up, there wasn’t loads of bodily affection, so she taught me that as nicely.’

In his 2021 memoir Happy Sexy Millionaire Bartlett stated marriage was not for him. In truth, he insisted cohabiting was a no-no and phrases like ‘soulmate’ drove him around the bend. 

How issues have modified: ‘We’ll in all probability have children within the subsequent one to 2 years if we’re fortunate sufficient, then get married,’ he says. ‘I want to be a great dad. That’s the subsequent large problem. My older brother Jason has three youngsters below six and he has proven me what it’s to be a fantastic father.’

Born in Botswana to a Nigerian mum and an English dad, Bartlett has had a outstanding rise. When he was two the household settled in Plymouth, Devon, however his dad and mom struggled for cash and sometimes fought. 

At faculty he confronted racism and was so ashamed of the household dwelling he pretended to mates that he lived on one other road. Yet he confirmed early entrepreneurial aptitude, making a living as a youngster by organising faculty journeys and paid-for birthday events.

Expelled for non-attendance within the sixth type he acquired into Manchester Metropolitan University however left after one lecture to give attention to his ambitions. In 2014 he based Social Chain, a social-media advertising firm which he and his companions ultimately floated on the inventory market with a valuation of $200 million (about £160 million). 

Where did Bartlett get his drive and resilience?

‘That makes it sound like I was brave and tough, but it didn’t at all times really feel like that,’ he says. ‘I definitely had doubts about what I was doing when my mother refused to speak to me for two years, because I’d dropped out of uni. 

But usually – after I was shoplifting pizzas to outlive – I attempted to see hardship as a stepping stone fairly than a ultimate vacation spot to cease myself getting depressed.’

Look at him now. His dad and mom are nonetheless collectively and really proud. ‘I pay for their house, their food. Last week my dad wanted a car; I got him a car.’

His brother Jason even give up his job as  a banker to supervise his youthful sibling’s funding portfolio. Meanwhile, Bartlett retains the money rolling in because the roving mogul behind The Diary of a CEO. 

In the previous three days he has been to Paris, Cape Town and New York recording new visitors. Tomorrow, he flies to LA to file 20 extra (the actress Rebel Wilson is one however he stays tight-lipped in regards to the others).

Yet regardless of his media profession and the fortune he earned from the eventual sale of Social Chain, he insists he’s no happier than when he was scrabbling round penniless.

‘I’m the identical man I used to be at 18. What I’ve learnt is it’s all in regards to the pursuit. Number one: encompass your self with folks you want. Number two: be challenged. Number three: have a way of ahead movement – [British cycling coach] Sir Dave Brailsford taught me that. 

You may solely be making marginal positive factors however the feeling you’re going ahead is necessary. Four is autonomy and management, which I’ve at all times had. And 5: you want a subjectively significant purpose. What I used to be chasing again then was a lot smaller however there was nonetheless a pursuit. I do know nothing I do now will actually change my happiness ranges – aside from possibly having youngsters.’

Despite Bartlett’s self-made story there are sceptics. Some have questioned his actual contribution to the success of Social Chain. 

Last yr he admitted he’d really departed as co-CEO 15 months earlier than it achieved an eventual $600 million valuation – some enterprise consultants argued that the corporate’s value was partly all the way down to it merging with Lumaland, a German mattress retailer, and changing into a part of the bigger AG group.

The Times wrote an article in February 2023 headlined ‘Why Steven Bartlett is not the tycoon he claimed’, after Social Chain – Bartlett’s company earlier than it merged – was bought by AG for £7.7 million; it famous a ‘gulf between the size of the deal and the enormous figures usually associated with the businessman’.

Does Bartlett really feel that questioning his credentials is unfair?

‘I released a statement at the time,’ he says with a barely haughty smile. ‘It is what it is.’ (Bartlett’s rebuttal to The Times stated that he retained a ‘significant’ shareholding in Social Chain AG and that he was below contract to work for the corporate ‘on arange of strategic matters’ on the time of the $600 million valuation). 

I notice that in his newest e book, The Diary of a CEO: The 33 Laws of Business & Life, one of many key guidelines is: ‘You must piss people off’.

Bartlett additionally acquired into hassle with the Advertising Standards Authority for not clarifying {that a} podcast endorsement for the meals complement Huel was an advert (he’s an investor within the firm). In 2022 he was reportedly reprimanded by BBC bosses for making an attempt to put on jewelry on Dragons’ Den made by an organization he’d invested in.

So, he’s adept at self-promotion – however is he really a very good businessman?

‘What is a good businessman?’ he asks.

‘I think I am good at crafting stories and content in the industries I play in and I have good people to fill my deficits.’

By any measure, he has come a good distance. Thirteen years in the past, after dropping out of uni, Bartlett was barely getting by. Now he lives a rigorously curated data-driven existence worthy of Marvel superhero Tony Stark (Iron Man). 

He has 60 of the identical black tops made by Bolton-based Represent and wears one day by day. Then there’s the net therapist to maintain his relationship in tiptop form and, after being identified with ‘overfocused ADHD’ on his personal podcast final yr, he likes to maintain key gadgets in his day-to-day life (like meals dietary supplements) in his eyeline as he tends to recollect issues he can see.

He often doesn’t eat till 2pm and displays his blood/sugar through the Zoe app from nutritionist Tim Spector (Bartlett is an investor). At evening, a separate Whoop gadget displays his physique temperature and sleep (he’s an investor on this, too).

‘I had exceptional sleep last night,’ he experiences. ‘My Whoop says I didn’t wake in any respect and my temperature was unbelievable. My sleep efficiency after I block out gentle is superb, particularly stage 4 sleep – that’s the restoration part when your mind and muscle tissue are restored. It’s what stops me being an a***gap the subsequent day.’

All this optimised residing is displaying outcomes. When Bartlett reaches for his espresso, I can see muscle teams jostling below Lycra like puppies in a sack. I discover a bit mic poking up from below his shirt collar, too. He’s recording our interview for his podcast.

‘I record everything,’ he says. ‘As a kid I wanted a role model whose life I could follow. When did they eat? When did they go to the gym? I want to be that role model today.’

I feel most Bartlett followers may have hassle maintaining along with his life-style.

He opens a laptop computer and proudly exhibits me the brand new web site for Flight Group, a portfolio of 41 advertising, communications and funding firms, all of which he owns. But whereas he’s burbling fortunately about signing new podcast expertise to one among his subsidiaries known as Flight Studio my thoughts drifts.

If he’s going to begin a household with Vaz Lopes how on earth is he going to run all this?

‘I learnt from Richard Branson that delegating to a trusted workforce is vital. Stop asking “How?”, begin asking “Who?’’’

I see that he’s an investor in Elon Musk’s Space X. Musk is the guest he most wants on The Diary of a CEO. Why?

‘I have one question for Elon: are you happy? I’m interested in that trade-off between pursuing a great goal and the sacrifice involved. You read about Elon sleeping on his desk at Twitter [now X] and telling journalists, “You wouldn’t want to be in my head”. And all these relationships and marriages that haven’t labored out. I need to know: is the decision to save lots of humanity value it?’

It seems like that’s Bartlett’s worry, too. Does he fear about burnout?

‘Who knows what I’ll be doing in ten years? A decade in the past I imagined I’d be driving a Lamborghini wearing Louis Vuitton and partying in nightclubs, however folks change.

In ten years I could be in Bali working with animals, or dancing within the hills in Peru, bombed on psychedelics. Who is aware of?’

That sounds approach too relaxed – Bartlett is nothing if not bold. 

After his 2022 podcast grilling of former well being secretary Matt Hancock about his extramarital office affair throughout lockdown (Bartlett: ‘There was guidance given to stop us having casual sex with people outside of our household etc etc.’ Hancock: ‘Do you think you could ask the question in a little more respectful way?’), some instructed Bartlett might pursue a political profession himself.

‘Politics is too binary,’ he shrugs. ‘Politicians haven’t realised the trail to resonance isn’t media coaching. It’s un-media coaching. Show folks you’re a f**king human being.’

In his memoir he says he has drifted from left to centre as he doesn’t like events who promote ‘responsibility-avoiding narratives’.

How will he vote?

‘When I was 18 and things were really dire, I investigated jobseeker’s allowance and meals banks. I assumed, “I need help here”, and I’ll always remember that I had choices. 

As a outcome I’ve an actual bias for the federal government defending those that have fallen on arduous instances – not as a result of they don’t seem to be hard-working or they’re dumb, however due to circumstances. 

Hopefully I’m now a productive member of society – a case research that exhibits folks ought to get assist after they want it. My household at all times voted Labour. I’ve by no means voted Conservative in my life.’

Kemi Badenoch, secretary of state for the division for enterprise and commerce, performs down racism and has stated the UK is one of the best place on this planet to be. Does Bartlett agree?

‘There are all kinds of prejudices. Gender, race, even accents and how people dress. All I can do is present the best version of myself in every situation. It’s not my job to work by one other particular person’s prejudice.’

He actually is a productive member of society; his younger workforce scuttles about with schedules. In parting Bartlett says the important thing to surviving an entrepreneur’s frenetic life is displaying gratitude for the tiniest issues. What was the very last thing he actually felt grateful for?

‘Every morning when I look at my girlfriend I’m simply grateful I haven’t f***ed it up. It’s so unbelievable, given the circumstances I grew up in, that I’d be in a functioning relationship.’

Bartlett asks me what I’ve acquired my spouse for Valentine’s Day. Nothing to this point, I admit, however I do plan to hot-foot it to a florist later.

‘If you want you can take 50 or so of my roses from my car,’ he gives. ‘Just leave some for me.’

How many has he acquired in there?

‘A lot,’ he says, smiling.

It’s too form, however I can’t. With that he heads off to brush his lover off her toes.

Go behind the scenes for unseen enterprise operations and podcast recordings on Behind The Diary YouTube channel, each Sunday.

Picture director: Ester Malloy. 

Fashion director: Sophie Dearden. 

Styling assistant: Jessica Carroll.

Grooming: Terri Capon at Stella Creative Artists utilizing Hair by Sam McKnight and Shiseido.