Divorce lawyer reveals two issues that always trigger marriages to finish

A world-renowned divorce lawyer has revealed the top two things that cause marriages to crumble – and how you can prevent splitting up from your spouse. 

James Sexton is a New York City-based family lawyer and best-selling author of books, How To Stay In Love, and If You’re In My Office, It’s Already Too Late.

The lawyer has now dished out marital advice in an episode of The Diary Of A CEO, podcast hosted by Steve Bartlett.

He shared that the top two causes of divorce were infidelity and money – adding that while ‘cheating is huge, it’s just a component.’ 

In the podcast, James shared that the reasons behind separation could include lack of sex. 

He noted that men were more often accused of cheating than women and that tended to lead to divorce. 

However, he added that it was not the sole reason. 

The lawyer explained: ‘Cheating is huge component, it’s an oversimplification.

‘So someone comes in and goes we’re getting divorced. Why? Because he’s sleeping with his secretary. 

‘I get it, yes that’s true, that is one of the variables that has led to your divorce, but you hadn’t slept with him in three years. 

‘So I’m not saying that makes the cheating forgivable, but you’re saying you had a really super awesome, healthy marriage and then this nefarious secretary came into the picture and suddenly he was wooed away? No, there were conditions that made that very likely to happen. 

‘Let’s start going back a little further because the truth is at the bottom of a bottomless pit.’

James revealed that men were always seeking more sex, while women were seeking more quality intimacy.

‘Men want more quantity sex, women want more quality,’ he said. 

The divorce lawyer explained that this had much to do with the reasoning behind why men sought other women. 

He suggested that this was also why porn was more popular with men. 

‘It’s the same reason porn is more popular with men than it is with women, because men just want to get the job done,’ James said. 

The other reason people got divorced was due to financial woes, the lawyer said.

He added: ‘There’s two main reasons why people get divorced – infidelity, which we’ve talked about and the other one we haven’t talked about, which is money.  

‘Money is power. Money has a lot to do with power. Everything in the world is about sex… and I think money is about power. 

‘Money is about control. Money is about opportunity, security, it’s about a whole bunch of things but it’s not really about money. 

‘Money is just a currency that we trade, so I think money has a whole bunch of complicated stuff tied up in it. 

‘People are dishonest with themselves and with money.’ 

James lifted the lid on the more common divorces, in which money was involved. 

He shared that when a woman was laid off and wasn’t bringing any money in, it didn’t tend to lead to divorce.

However, he admitted that when men lost their jobs, women weren’t ‘attracted’ to the idea of being the ‘breadwinner’ and it tended to lead to separation. 

‘It’s about what money represents, it’s about power,’ he said. 

James said that there were ways couples could prevent divorce. 

The lawyer noted that couples should ‘pay attention’ to each other to keep the love alive. 

He also had some advice for men. James said that men should leave love notes for their spouses to remind them of how much they adored them.

He explained that while it would take ’10 seconds,’ it showed your partner they cared. 

In the past, James revealed that you should never have a fidelity or sunset clause in their prenups. 

‘Fidelity’ clauses mean the prenup is void if one person is unfaithful, and a ‘sunset’ clause defines the time after which the terms of the agreement expire.