QUENTIN LETTS: ‘Great to be with you!’ cried Rishi, tooth dazzling

Day one of Rishi Sunak‘s election campaign tour began at a Derbyshire biscuit warehouse. Industrial pallets of McVitie’s Family Circle, Rich Tea and Victoria (‘our finest selection’) biscuits towered 40ft high at Ilkeston’s West William Transport depot.

All it would have taken was a Russian assassin at the wheel of a forklift truck for our Prime Minister to have been buried in a pile of Highland shorties, jam sandwich creams and milk chocolate wheels. One can think of worse ways to go.

The soaking Mr Sunak received outside 10 Downing Street on Wednesday night was still on everyone’s minds. Maggie Throup, Conservative candidate for the local Erewash constituency, presented him with an umbrella. Had Rishi shrunk in the wash? Close-up he really is a titch, short and skinny as a jockey.

He compensates for that with his energy levels, which are mad. ‘Right!’ he cried, smacking his hands together, teeth dazzling like LED headlights. ‘Great to be with you! Yeah!’

Forty or so warehouse employees had created a circular speaking area. Five were in managerial suits, the rest in factory overalls and orange tabards.

Rishi Sunak takes part in a Q&A with workers during a visit to Derbyshire biscuit warehouse at Ilkeston’s West William Transport depot while on his General Election campaign trial

Maggie Throup, Conservative candidate for the local Erewash constituency, presented the Prime Minister with an umbrella following his address in the rain outside Downing Street on Wednesday

They watched with a mixture of curiosity, amusement, boredom and crossed arms as the PM hurled himself into his new stump speech. This began with lockdown’s furlough scheme – ‘when you first got to know me’ – and moved to today’s economy, which he said was bouncing back from the cost of Covid.

From there it segued into foreign threats, immigration (‘Keir Starmer wants to offer an amnesty’) and the cockiness in some quarters that Labour already has the election won.

‘I’m gonna fight very hard every single day,’ said Mr Sunak. ‘The British people don’t like being taken for granted.’

The content of all this was no worse or better than any stump speech. More interesting was the way it was delivered. He kept rubbing and whirling and clapping his hands, doing double-clenched fist gestures, Ski Sunday crouches and dainty pirouettes. If someone filmed this routine and set it to music, it could become the new Birdie Song. 

The audience got to ask some questions. Topics included energy bills, NHS delays, immigration, the environment and men’s mental health (basically, how did he himself stay sane?).

On that last one, he said he would love to go for walks on his own but people might start staring at him if he did. He therefore relied on the company of his three-year-old labrador, Nova, to keep him level. Nova the canine shrink. The matter that created the most visible interest was preventing sick-pay benefits abuse. 

The Derbyshire audience seemed to think it was outrageous people were skiving: in other words the opposite of the London metropolitan view that says such benefits crackdowns are cruel.

‘Yes, you!’ Rishi kept shouting, pointing at whoever he wanted to ask the next question. This was said quite loudly. One woman jumped out of her skin. Warehouse supervisor Mick Shergold, 68, complained about a 12-week waiting list for prostate checks. He said afterwards that he was a former Labour voter who had ‘always liked’ Mr Sunak. ‘I just think he’s a lot more honest than the other lot.’

Sir Keir Starmer was not so much to Mick’s liking. ‘He just says ‘change, change, change’ and I can’t trust him.’ The event ended with a vortex of selfies, the blinding gleam from Rishi’s enormous teeth making camera flashes redundant. 

Then the teeth were off to Barry, South Wales, where, good teetotaller that he is, Mr Sunak visited a brewery and goofed by asking if they were looking forward to ‘all the football’ this summer. Wales did not make it to the Euro finals, alas. Touchy subject. What’s Welsh for ‘ouch’?

In other news, Sir Edward Whatnot, leader of the Lib Dems, launched his campaign in Cheltenham. The moment he alighted from his car, a member of the public started shouting ‘go away!’ My son lives in Cheltenham. I wonder if it was him.