Count Binface vows to ‘take out the Tory trash’ and eyes up ‘low-hanging fruit’
Count Binface has listed the lid on where he could stand in the general election as he vowed to take out the trash.
The intergalactic space warrior says Rishi “Biggles” Sunak’s seat in Richmond, North Yorks., is the “juiciest” of the low-hanging fruits. But he’s also potentially set his sights on the constituencies being contested by Tory big beasts such as Jeremy Hunt, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-Mogg and “Lettuce” Liz Truss.
He said: “I’m completely spoilt for choice. The last parliament has been such a shower that any number of them are ripe for the plucking. I just have to choose which of those juicy low-hanging fruits you settle for.”
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Binface has previously stood against former prime ministers Bozo Johnson in 2019 and Theresa May in 2017, under his former guise of Lord Buckethead. He said: “It’s time to take out the trash. Bindependence day is on the way.”
He reckons the reason an election may have been called in the summer is because it’s to his “disadvantage” due to the heat in his space suit. “You’re clutching at straws, Rishi,” he added.
(Image: Getty Images)
He has to decide next month which seat to go for. The satirical character, created by comic Jon Harvey, said: “It’s rather like being in the most wonderful food market when you’re on holiday.
“I am browsing the aisles, I have got 650 potential items to shop for. And I’m completely spoilt for choice. If the other parties can have a non-local candidate, why not an alien from another quadrant?”
(Image: Getty Images)
He said Biggles’ seat in Richmond is “hanging rather precariously on a branch”, adding: “You might just say I’ve got my visor on that one too. A betting man might look at the form book.
“You look at my record, I have taken on two Conservative prime ministers. The fact is I am a humble space warrior. It’s not up to me.”
(Image: Getty Images)
Binface, who stood in the London mayoral election earlier this month, insisted he “wasn’t quite as surprised by the announcement of the election” as others.
He said: “It’s nice to feel that even though I may be a one-alien operation, that I could steal a march on the rest.”
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