I believed my Labour-voting husband would comply with a poster outdoors – I used to be fallacious

Marriage is all about compromise, making joint decisions, and respecting each other’s point of view.

But sometimes, after being together a long time, you’re so confident you know how they feel you don’t bother to check.

When someone on our street WhatsApp group – set up on the messaging app during lockdown – asked if anyone wanted a Labour poster on a stake for the front of their house, I said ‘yes’ straightaway. As the daughter of a Labour MP, this is in my blood – it genuinely never occurred to me that my husband might mind.

Admittedly I then forgot to tell him, so the first he knew of it was when the sign was being attached to our gate. But mind indeed he did. Very much. We stared at each other, both baffled by the other’s stance, even after all these years. To me, it’s showing support, to him it’s showing off. Giving everyone who walks past our door Too Much Information. What will the neighbours say?

Our neighbours, like everyone’s, definitely know far more intimate details about us than who we’re planning to vote for in the General Election (in 36 days, on July 4, don’t forget to register and bring photo ID). We’ve all heard each other arguing, and sometimes making up, but let’s not think about that too much or we’ll never leave the house again. Never mind the highs and lows, the minutiae of our lives are the background soundtrack to theirs, and that’s the best case scenario when no one is shouting.

We are all keeping up with the Jones’ in that way, whether we like it or not, unless your home’s detached or you’re hearing impaired. And anyway, I’d happily tell anyone who asked who I’ll vote for. I’m not ashamed – and if you are, then surely that means you’re making the wrong decision.

My husband is far from alone in wanting to keep this information private though, apparently. Only a few people took up the offer of a red stake, and this is a Labour area so not because they’re getting a blue, yellow or green one instead. Also I remember my dad’s campaign trail story of knocking on the door of a house with a Conservative poster in the window, and asking if he could please try to change their minds.

He was immediately informed that he didn’t need to, they were lifelong Labour voters but, “we just don’t want the neighbours knowing our business.”

There’s little research on whether posters in windows make any difference to the end result. A US study in 2016, The Effects of Lawn Signs on Vote Outcomes, did show that on average they increased vote share by 1.7 percentage points. But it’s not only about affecting the result – although hopefully it will of course. It’s about proudly being part of a movement, a groundswell, having strength and safety in numbers.

That poster outside my house might technically say Vote Labour, but it’s also saying, come on, we can do this! It can really happen! Change is coming! My husband eventually decided this hill wasn’t worth dying on – especially as he’s also a Labour voter, needless to say. Which is lucky, because the stake is now so well attached, it may well still be there for the next election too.