‘My bossy mum will not settle for my wedding ceremony gown selection – it is ruined my huge day’
Planning a wedding should be one of the most thrilling times in your life, but if it’s causing you stress, it might be time to identify the source.
A bride-to-be realised her mum was the root of her wedding woes when tensions reached an uncomfortable peak. She accused her mother of ruining her big day with her “bulldozing” and “manipulative” behaviour.
She revealed that her mum had turned “what should be a joyful planning process” into a “into a nightmare”. The woman took to Reddit‘s ‘Am I The A**hole’ forum to ask if she was wrong for telling her mum she was spoiling her wedding.
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She penned: “I’m (28F) dealing with my mom’s excessive gift-giving of clothes and her intrusive involvement in my wedding planning.
“When we went shopping, she pushed for a matronly dress that I hated, and dismissed the ones I liked. I eventually chose a dress that everyone, including her, seemed to agree was the most flattering.
“But the next day she insisted it was too low cut and even showed photos of me in it to her friends at my grandmother’s funeral to get validation. She claimed that they all agreed with her and suggested we go shopping again, which I refused.
Despite her “clear” refusal, her mum booked another wedding dress appointment, which she found “humiliating”. “She showed zoomed-in photos of my chest to the staff, who graciously assured her that it was not revealing,” she added.
The saga didn’t end there, as she revealed: “After I flew back home, she began sending rehearsal dinner dress options to my house, none of which suited me and were all returned. Each dress was either not my style or the wrong size. Despite my polite returns and clear communication, she persisted in sending more.
“Recently, I planned a trip back to my parents’ place to pick up my wedding dress, which I couldn’t bring back earlier due to luggage constraints. A day before my flight, my mum texted me that she had booked an alteration appointment for my dress, claiming it needed to fit perfectly and be less revealing.
“I told her that the prior dress shopping experience had been extremely upsetting for me and that I couldn’t handle it again. Her response was dismissive, stating that both dress shopping experiences had been traumatising for her too. At this, I lost it and told her that her constantly bulldozing and manipulating me has ruined my wedding.
“I know my mum genuinely wants to be involved in my life and my wedding, but her constant interference and insistence on her taste over mine are making what should be a joyful planning process into a nightmare – am I the a**hole here?”
In the comments, people were quick to back her up, insisting she hadn’t put a foot wrong and was right to stand up to her mum’s meddling ways. One user chimed in: “You are standing your ground for YOUR wedding. It’s about your taste and preference. There are certainly some compromises to be made, but your wedding dress is important to your experience. Her insistence is really what is making her the a**hole.”
Another piped up: “Her mum can make suggestions, but has no actual say…the only need for compromise is between the bride and groom.”
Taking a difference stance, another said: “Like, her mother is clearly the a**hole, but why is the original poster even going along with this stuff? If she’s old enough to get married, she should be old enough to say no to someone. Yikes.”
