Men’s high causes for not opening as much as their dads – and it is heartbreaking
A study of 1,000 blokes has revealed that 19% find it easier to express their feelings in writing than face-to-face. The main reasons for this include fear of embarrassment (42%), feeling awkward (39%) and concern about appearing weak (30%).
It was also found that men feel most at ease opening up to their partners, but struggle to have a meaningful conversation with their dads or workmates. Top reasons for finding it difficult to open up to their fathers include ‘the fact he doesn’t express his feelings to me’ (42%) and that ‘we’ve never had a deep meaningful conversation before’ (42%).
The research was commissioned by Hallmark, which has partnered with men’s suicide prevention charity ANDY’S MAN CLUB, to launch a unique collection of Father’s Day cards designed to convey messages of love, appreciation and understanding. Andrew Dewhirst, senior writer for Hallmark, said: “As millions prepare to celebrate paternal figures across the UK, the calendar date also offers an opportunity to redefine the meaning behind the heartfelt messages we send to dads.”
“Men can find it challenging to open up because society has conditioned them to believe that vulnerability is a sign of weakness, which came out as one of the top reasons in our research. However, embracing vulnerability is a courageous act that can lead to authentic connections and emotional well-being.
“Sometimes the simplest gesture – a card filled with love, appreciation and understanding – can become pathways for crucial conversations, especially for fathers who may find it difficult to open up.”
Other deterrents preventing men from revealing their feelings include being viewed as a burden (26%) or fear of ridicule (19%). Almost one in four (23%) are apprehensive that they wouldn’t be able to properly express their emotions verbally. Also, 13% just don’t want others to witness them shedding tears.
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Nearly four in ten (39%) confess that expressing their sentiments to someone of the same sex would make them feel ‘weak’. However, upon taking this step, 28% felt alleviated, 25% overall felt better and 17% became more serene.
Mental health topped the list of topics that men wished they could freely voice out, followed by physical health ailments and pervasive solitude. Others worry about monetary hardships, bodily insecurities or managing emotional distress caused by others.
However, three-quarters of those surveyed by OnePoll believe it’s vital that men have safe zones where they can bare their feelings without judgement.
In addition, a third (34%) were unsurprised that suicide is the leading cause of death among men under 50. Yet, a surprising 58% remain unaware of any charitable organisations they could turn to for aid if needed.
Luke Ambler, co-founder and chair of Andy’s Man Club, a place where men can find local support groups or join the conversation online using #ANDYSMANCLUB, said: “For men, opening up can feel like stepping into uncharted territory, but it’s in these moments of vulnerability that true growth and connection occur.”
“When men allow themselves to feel and express their emotions, they may discover a newfound sense of freedom and inner peace. To encourage more men to open up however they feel comfortable more safe spaces are needed where men can start to explore this.”
Here are the top 10 reasons why men struggle to express their feelings:
- Feeling awkward.
- Not being understood.
- Feeling like a burden.
- Being seen as weak.
- Not articulating things properly.
- Not wanting the sympathy.
- Being made fun of.
- Someone making me feel ‘weird’ for how I’m feeling.
- Not wanting someone to see me cry.
- Losing friends because of how I feel.
