Don’t guide a single anti-ageing tweakment till you could have learn my ideas

Whether you’re appalled by freakish outcomes or mesmerised by the successful ones, there’s no denying that non-surgical cosmetic procedures (or ‘tweakments’) are fascinating to behold.

Increasingly, I get friends asking me if it’s worth dipping in a toe — although it’s always preceded by ‘I don’t actually think I will, of course’.

I’ve had plenty of these procedures ‘for work’, and I am a fan of the technology and the possibilities.

Some (ones that freeze time rather than my face) I am as devoted to as my highlights and my SPF.

What I can’t abide is a lot of the marketing and social media around many of these treatments. It so often — and so casually — distorts reality, which doesn’t serve patients in the slightest.

The thing to remember is that you are dealing with largely medical procedures that manipulate flesh with syringes, toxins and extreme heat.

Despite over-used terms such as ‘zero downtime’, ‘lunch-hour procedure’ and ‘minimally invasive tweak’, plenty are a world away from an innocuous facial and, while safe in the right hands, they come with risks.

So in the interest of making informed choices, here are some of my home truths about tweakments.

BE SURE TO DOUBLE YOUR DOWNTIME

The time that it takes to look totally normal again after treatment — the ‘downtime’ — is routinely underplayed.

‘A little redness’, for example, after Morpheus8, can be more like a tomato-red face with pinpoint blood splotches for days, while ‘some small bumps’ from Profhilo or other skin boosters can mean prolonged Star Trek-like alien lumps.

Powerful energy-based treatments and some injectables (especially those aimed at fat loss) can cause deep bruising, and lasers can make brown spots and veins go very dark for a week or longer before fading.

Anything ‘ablative’ — that can mean chemical peels, lasers, plasma and other heat-based devices — will inevitably make your skin’s top layer weep, then wither and fall off. So whatever downtime is quoted, double it and you might beat the odds.

It’s all par for the course, but it’s best to ask for the worst-case scenario and be prepared.

DOUBLE THE COST AS WELL  

These treatments are hugely expensive — and need to be. You don’t want anything less than medically qualified pros, using non-black market products, because you’ll be putting your safety at risk.

Some procedures sound cheaper, but you’ll often find you need more than the minimum number of sessions for good results. Weigh up your options and ask questions before parting with your cash.

PREPARE FOR SOME PAIN 

If you’re warned of potential ‘discomfort’ during of after the treatment, be aware that ‘pain’ would be a more accurate description in plenty of cases.

This stuff, despite numbing cream, can sting, burn and ache, so do be prepared to grit your teeth.

CHOOSE A DOCTOR, NOT CELEB CLIENTS 

You want a doctor who is more interested in your face than their own.

I’m not saying that some famous doctors aren’t brilliant, but if one is banging on about their ‘celebrity’ clients or has a TikTok account that mostly consists of pouting images of themselves, I’d run the other way.

A great practitioner is in love with delivering outstanding work, not with themselves.

I also find that their face, and those of their staff, offers a good indication of their aesthetic when it comes to their patients.

RACE YOU TO IT! 

MY ICON OF THE WEEK

Sarah Jessica Parker 

The actress — famed for playing Carrie Bradshaw in And Just Like That and Sex And The City — teamed her Maryam Keyhani hat (right) with Merit make-up (meritbeauty.com). 

The 59-year-old opted for the Flush Balm in Cheeky, £32; Solo Shadow in Nelson, £26; Shade Slick Lip Oil in Au Naturel, £26 and Brow 1980 Volumising Pomade in Blond, £26. 

TRANSPARENT SUNSCREENS

 COSMETIC CRAVING