‘Beer-throwing England followers can sod off – they are a bunch of attention-seekers’
Fans who chuck their beer in the air after England score a goal need lifetime bans from pubs, live matches and anywhere within a five mile radius of my house.
I mean honestly, is there anything more plastic? Other than Mikel Arteta’s hair of course.
Nothing says I’m an attention-seeking plonker desperate to show everyone how much of a football lad I am like launching an £8 pint in artificial ecstasy because England took a first half lead against Denmark in the group.
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Disagree? Let me guess. You own an England Euro ‘96 shirt despite the fact you were still in your dad’s balls during the tournament, an ASOS bucket hat, and you use phrases like ‘you love to see it’ and ‘inject it into my veins’.
If you want to watch matches drenched in warm lager then be my guest, but all you are is a performative tw*t hammer who’s basically just a butt plug collection away from being Astrid Wett.
What do you make of beer-throwing fans? Are they genuine? Let us know in the comments section below.
(Image: Humphrey Nemar)
Pipe down, song police
I hate all this moral posturing about England fans singing ‘10 German Bombers’.
I mean for crying out loud it’s a bloody tame chant when you consider the context. Sure, it’s a little disrespectful to sing it out in Schnitzelville, but since when have football chants ever been about respect?
Scotland fans merrily mocked the Queen’s death last week and that was all above board apparently because ‘punching up’ or some bollocks.
Like it or lump it, defeating the Nazis is one of our nation’s finest feats. The chant literally describes how a bunch of outnumbered fighter pilots successfully protected innocent people from an invading, fascist force. Since when did celebrating that become non-PC?
I know being ashamed of our history is all the rage right now, but can people just, you know, have a day off occasionally? This is England at the Euros, not sports day at precious little Barnaby’s prep school.
It’s three-diculous
The fact that third-placed teams go through at the Euros is an absolute farce. I mean what kind of schoolyard participation trophy bullsh*t is this? Teams should never be rewarded for performing like mugs.
It’d be like letting Bournemouth into the Champions League after they finished 12th, or letting Erik ten Hag keep his job at Man United after losing 19 games in a seas–oh hang on… never mind.
It now means a load of also-rans get to play in the knockouts, and in all honesty, if I wanted to spend my summer watching a gaggle of semi-professional-looking prats kicking a ball about I’d have bought Sheffield United’s season review on DVD.
Tournament football is best when it’s cutthroat and unforgiving, not when it’s some airy-fairy charity event where you get a bunch of do-overs.
