‘Husband caught me in bed room after I instructed him I’ve no intercourse drive’

A woman has admitted her marriage is hanging by a thread after her husband caught her in the midst of some solo X-rated action.

The couple, who have been hitched for ten years and share two kids, have hit a rocky patch as her libido took a “nosedive” post-children, she confessed on Mumsnet. “We probably have sex on average once a week, I’d be happy with less and this is a compromise,” she penned.” He would like a lot more. I’ve explained that I don’t have much of a sex drive at the moment but he doesn’t get it.”

She also shared how her husband’s doubts about her love for him have escalated, especially after he burst in on her private moment. “Last night he caught me masturbating and he is absolutely furious, properly LIVID,” she said. “He was shouting in my face that I’m a liar and that we are done.”

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The distraught wife believes her husband now thinks she’s keen on sex, just not with him. She tried to clarify: “Wanting a bit of a dopamine hit and stress relief does not mean that I wanted to have sex. Touching myself is not comparable to being touched by someone else.”

Since the incident, she’s been given the cold shoulder and fears the worst for their relationship, particularly as her husband seems convinced they’re finished. “I just can’t believe that this might be the thing that breaks up our family,” she lamented, sparking debate among Mumsnet users.

One woman empathised, responding: “I lived with this but the other way round for years,” before painting a bleak picture. “It felt like a betrayal and a rejection that he couldn’t have sex with me but would masturbate regularly alone. Our marriage was doomed.”

Another lady penned: “It’s sad that he doesn’t understand you after 10 years together that you’re an introvert and struggle with having children pawing at you all the time which I do understand. And to make someone feel guilty about masturbation (rather than a porn addiction) is not right either.”

However, some were quick to rush to the husband’s defence, advising the wife to face up her own situation. “Reverse the genders and think what would you reply If this was a man doing this,” one woman explained. “It’s horrible. I fully understand your husband’s frustration. You obviously have sex drive just not for him. I’m sorry but I am with him on this one.”

Echoing the previous sentiment, another said: “Your husband wants and desires more sex, he’s not in the wrong there and once a week isn’t enough for him and he’s not wrong there either, once a week wouldn’t be enough for me either. Him wanting to have sex with his wife doesn’t make him a needy deviant with sex issues.”

Overwhelmed by the responses, the wife returned to her post later, expressing thanks and considering the potential solutions. “Thanks for the comments everyone, I appreciate the different points of view,” she concluded.

“My life would be a lot easier if I had sex with him as often as he wanted but I can’t do it. The tank would be empty, other areas of my life would suffer, I would feel stressed and unhappy. We need to have big conversation and I can only hope that the anger has passed and he listens. I’ve tried to explain about being touched out before and the whole concept was bizarre to him.”