Euro semi schlongs – who will win England vs the Netherlands based mostly on d*** dimension

Does size matter?

From a corner, the answer is probably yes, but the jury is still out when it comes to getting frisky between the sheets. And that’s perfect too, as the Netherlands have us outgunned in a good old ‘schlong off’.

England and the Netherlands will renew their rivalry on Wednesday (July 10) evening in the semi-final of Euro 2024 – and it’s good job the result will only come down to football. You see the boffins over at NowPatient have gathered data on average penis sizes to reveal the countries with the largest members.

READ MORE: England Euro 2024 ‘opponents’ confirmed as Spain v France teaches us five things

READ MORE: England fans should support Spain not France in Euros semi says supercomputer

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And let’s just say there might be a spring in the step of the Dutch – who know a thing or two about windmills.

The men of the Netherlands, according to the research, have the biggest nether regions in Europe – averaging 6.14 inches when fully erect. And that number is quite a bit, erm, longer, than England’s 5.63in average (the 60th largest in the world).

What do you think about NowPatient’s findings? Let us know in the comments section

Fans of Netherlands celebrate the victory after the UEFA EURO 2024 quarter-final match between Netherlands and Türkiye at Olympiastadion on July 6, 2024 in Berlin, Germany.
No wonder the Dutch are happy!

It’s not the end of the world, we’ve sort of seen off bigger, drawing to Denmark (5.93) and Slovenia (5.52) – but we have beat Slovakia (5.59) and Switzerland (5.61). And a match-up with Spain (5.31) in the final, easy work.

Now we all know size doesn’t matter, it’s about how you use it – and Gareth Southgate has struggled with how best to use his squad.

The England boss has struggled with his left-hand side, and the injury to Luke Shaw that has kept him to one appearance off the bench for the Three Lions. And according to reports, Kieran Trippier will again be given the nod at left-back. While we might not have bigger c***s, our Gareth certainly has bigger balls pulling that stunt.

Gareth Southgate
Gareth Southgate’s side are one game away from the Euros final

Navin Khosla, a pharmacist at NowPatient, said: “While it’s interesting to explore data on worldwide penis and breast sizes, it’s important to remember that size really doesn’t matter in a medical sense.

However, we understand how these measurements can impact your self-confidence. So there is one thing to remember: Everybody is different.

“This is especially true when it comes to attraction and preferences. Just like how some people prefer different fashion styles, eye colours, or characteristics in a partner, some people are more attracted to larger penises or breasts, while others prefer smaller ones.”