I used to be on Too Hot To Handle and here is what you did not know

Netflix‘s raciest reality show is set to return with a bang next week, with the release of Too Hot To Handle season six. 

The premise is simple, 10 beautiful, single contestants are whisked off to a tropical retreat and offered the chance to walk away with a staggering cash prize – all they have to do is not have sex. 

Yet every season this seemingly simple rule – that also forbids any kissing, heavy petting or self gratification – seems too hard for the stars to follow, and every rule break results in a hefty financial penalty. 

One could argue that the reason behind these flagrant rule breaks is that the contestants don’t know they’re signing up for Too Hot To Handle, instead tricked by producers into thinking they’d signed up for a fictional, raunchy show. 

Yet this season introduces a shock twist, with the stars wittingly signing up for the programme to see if they have the self-restraint to pull for. 

Ahead of the season six launch on Friday, MailOnline sat down with Too Hot To Handle’s intimacy coach Brenden Durell to find out all the saucy secrets from the retreat. 

Brenden has worked on the show since it launched in 2020 and is tasked with hosting workshops aimed at aiding personal growth and adopting a healthy approach to sex. 

He explained: ‘I help them eventually have better sex by slowing down. It’s just to connect deeper with intimacy.

‘Of course, the premise of the show is the rule breaks and being naughty, but it’s also for me to support them. To have those aha moments of “I could experience better love, romance, intimacy, connection, if I don’t just jump in so fast right away.”

‘I give them perspective and I bring up their past, their childhood, and just how their past relationships have been. 

‘I teach them to create a new normal for themselves, a new standard for dating, rather than repeating the same patterns.’

For some, it’s hard to wrap their head around the fact that the contestants aren’t able to keep their hands to themselves for a few days in order to win a whopping cash prize. 

Yet Brenden disagrees with critics’ claims that the contestants are ‘sex addicts’. 

‘Everybody says that,’ he mused, ‘But I don’t think they are. I believe that the production company are very great at casting people who might be close to that line, or just people just like to have a lot of fun.’

Despite producers doing their best to bring the drama, Brenden insisted that everything viewers see on screen is real. 

‘It’s 100 percent authentic’, he insisted. ‘People think it’s scripted but it’s not. There is some persuasion, taking two people on a date and leaving champagne and condoms on a nightstand… but it’s authentic. 

‘They’re really good people [the contestants]. They have good hearts and they’re real people who are just looking for a good time.’ 

While the show has a loyal fanbase, there have been many who criticised the show for the amount of racy scenes and focus on sex. 

Yet Brenden believes we need to move past seeing sex as ‘taboo’ and is on a mission to get the world talking about the subject in a healthy way. 

‘I feel the world isn’t sexual enough’, he explained. ‘Every person on this planet is a product of sex, so why is it taboo?’

Other critics of the show have wondered what effects having sex on television for have for the stars and their mental wellbeing on the show. 

Yet Brenden explained that producers ensure the contestants are cared for during their time on the show and after. 

He shared: ‘I have to give a shout out to Fremantle and Netflix for considering the wellbeing of the contestants, and how how full on it.

‘They do check ins with them, they have a psychologist on set, and they take care of them from the inside out. So it’s not just a gimmick.’ 

Brenden added that his role in the show is to create a ‘safe space’ for the contestants and that alongside the welfare team, he works to keep the stars feeling ‘safe, heard and seen.’ 

He explained: ‘Nothing is forced upon the contestants, no situation, no experience. If they want to leave, they can leave. If they feel uncomfortable they can stay back. 

‘I’ve had contestants not want to come to workshops because something happened prior in the day, and then they just didn’t feel comfortable to be on camera. 

‘I love that aspect how nothing is like, “just go and like throw them in the fire.”‘ 

Offering advice to any future contestants, he revealed that in his experience, the stars often forget they’re on camera after a few days so they need to be prepared for this. 

He added: ‘I always tell all the contestants you have to really stay close to the people who genuinely love you. Too Hot To Handle is confronting and once it’s filmed, the footage lives forever. 

‘Some of them don’t realise that they’re gonna be grandparents one day, and they’re going to have to explain to their grandkids about something they did when they were 21 years old!

‘I always encourage them to just to be mindful and keep people who are close to you because a lot of them are going to receive a lot of fake love. There’s going  be a lot of people trying to be a part of the hype. 

‘You have to stay grounded and that’s why I give exercises and practices with breath work and meditative things so that they can really stay connected to the essence of who they are.’

As well as his work on Too Hot To Handle, Brenden has launched his project, Unknown Intimacy, which is dedicated to deepening intimacy in all aspects of life. 

The venture is committed to fostering meaningful connections and creating experiences that help individuals feel more attuned to their true selves. 

Speaking about his project, Brenden shared: ‘Unknown Intimacy goes hand in hand with with Too Hot To Handle, it’s just a deeper sense for my own personal work over the last decade and a half.

‘It’s about the fear of the unknown and how many people resonate with that? Also the fear of intimacy and teaching people to dig deep and conquer these fears.’ 

Brenden revealed that his venture is being unrolled in a series of multimedia projects and he has just filmed the experience from his retreat here Ecuador for a docuseries.’

Yet prior to the release of his docuseries, Brenden is excited to see how season six of Too Hot To Handle is received when it drops on Friday. 

He confessed that even he was surprised by all the twists this season, admitting: ‘I’m privy to a lot of things before filming but even I rolled up to set and went “what the hell?” to the producers!

‘This was a fun one for me, and with this being the first season they all know they’re going on Too Hot To Handle, I really liked it. 

‘I really liked how it’s evolving the series and the new surprises and element that they’re adding in.’ 

Despite the show historically not providing many matches, Brenden is also confident that this new format will lead to more lasting relationships and that the pairs bonded on a ‘deeper’ level than before.

Out of the past five series, only two couples are still together now.

Season two’s Emily Miller and Cam Holmes have proved to be a success story,  welcoming son Reggie last month, two years after they suffered child loss. 

Season four also sparked a successful relationship between Kayla Richart and Seb Melrose. 

Too Hot To Handle season six part one will stream on Netflix on July 19 and the final episodes will air on August 2.