Have you slipped into the ‘relationship matrix’?
Dating in the 2020s is a tricky business, as any singleton will tell you. However, a TikTok star who has experience of dating straight men has created a handy graph to help straight women navigate the pool and ‘solve dating’.
Amy Evans from Oregon, who is also a musician, writer, and model, discussed the concept on a video on TikTok where she has some 20,000 followers.
The Portland-based creative, who developed the matrix with her best friend Grace, said in the video that it will help those who are dating.
Describing it as the ‘smart, dumb, sweet, evil matrix’, Amy said that she and Grace had discovered that ‘every man in the world falls’ into one of their four categories.
Theses are based on how the men they have dated have behaved, and how they use this behaviour as the basis for their categories. Here, FEMAIL has given examples of the different type of men using characters from films and television programme.
TikTok creator, musician, writer, and model Amy Evans (pictured, left) created the dating matrix (pictured, right) with her friend Grace
1. UNICORN QUADRANT
She explained that the first group features ‘sweet, smart’ men, and they’d branded this the ‘unicorn’ quadrant
Here, Amy said, you have ‘your husbands, your ones who got away, and your fictional men written by women’.
She continued: “These are the ones you want to keep. They’re the ones you dream about. They’re the ones you deserve, honey.’
The character of Chandler Bing from Friends (played by the late Matthew Perry, pictured) could be considered a ‘unicorn’ by the dating matrix’s definition, as the role portrayed a sweet man who was deeply supportive of his wife
While the character of Mark Darcey in Bridget Jones’ Diary may have appeared aloof at times, he was revealed to be a sweet and caring partner (pictured: actor Colin Firth as Mark Darcey)
Actors Jake Johnson (pictured, left) and Zooey Deschanel (pictured, right) as their characters Nick and Jess in New Girl
Among the fictional characters that could fall within this remit is Friend’s favourite Chandler Bing (portrayed by the late Matthew Perry).
Over the sitcom’s 10-season run, viewers saw the character develop from a wise-cracking, guarded singleton to a supportive and loving husband to his friend-turned-wife Monica.
Another character who is often considered a unicorn is Mark Darcy (played by Colin Firth) from Bridget Jones, who may sometimes appear aloof due to his shyness, but shares sweet sentiments with Bridget, famously telling her ‘I like you very much. Just the way you are.’
While New Girl’s Nick (Jake Johnson) may be known for being socially inept and deeply sarcastic, his relationship with fellow character Jess shows a different side to him.
His feelings for Jess are clear, and throughout the show, he goes out of his way a number of times to help her, showing off a protective side when it comes to his friend. Their connection and depth of feeling for each other means they eventually get together.
2. GOLDEN RETRIEVER QUADRANT
As sweet and enthusiastic partners, with a willingness to learn, Sex and the City’s Aidan and Happy Gilmore could be considered golden retrievers
The principle cast of 90s teen drama Dawson’s Creek (picture L-R; Katie Holmes playing Joey Potter; James Van Der Beek as Dawson Leery; Michelle Williams as Jennifer Lindley; and Joshua Jackson as Pacey)
After describing their sweet, smart section, Amy then moved onto the second part of the matrix, which she called the golden retriever quadrant.
This, she said, includes men who are ‘very sweet, but a little bit dumb’, describing them as having a high EQ but a low IQ.
She explained that a man in this quadrant ‘could be a nuclear scientist’.
‘But,’ Amy continued, ‘if they’re getting you potholders for your birthday, they are a golden retriever, honey.’
However, she noted: ‘The most important quality of a golden retriever is that they are willing to learn. They can be taught.
‘And eventually, these golden retrievers can become unicorns, which is why they are part of the keeper hemisphere.’
Famous fictional characters who could fall under this label include Aidan (played by John Corbett) from Sex And The City – a sweet and over eager boyfriend to protagonists Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker).
However, despite his enthusiasm and sweetness, he struggles to read her signals suggesting she is not an enamoured with him, leading to his inevitable heartbreak.
Another golden retriever is arguably Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler) the protagonist of the 90s golfing comedy of the same name.
When he falls her Virginia Venit, the pro golf tour public relations director, his initial hapless attempts to woo her slightly miss the mark due to his extremely gregarious nature.
Similarly, Dawson (James Van Der Beek) from Dawson’s Creek, a 90s teen drama, is arguably another who falls into this category, as a naive teenager who develops deep romantic feelings for several women throughout the show’s run.
3. YUCK QUADRANT
Actor Thomas F. Wilson playing Biff Tannen in Back To The Future – the character could be categorised in the yuck quadrant
Back in the TikTok video, Amy moved on to the third section, which she names the ‘yuck quadrant’, saying this features those who are ‘dumb and evil’.
Amy said: ‘In this quadrant, we have your traumatic brain injuries, your Republicans and or hockey players, which are basically the same thing.
‘And, your non-narcissist anger issues. So they would be manipulative if they had the wherewithal – but they simply do not.’
An example of one of these men could be Biff (Thomas F. Wilson) from the Back to the Future film franchise – while a bully and aggressive, his poor thinking skills mean he often ends up in bad situations.
While Adam from Sex Education could be a contender for the yuck category at first, the character enjoyed a redemption arc (pictured L-R: Alistair Petrie as Michael Groff and Conor Swindells as Adam Groff in Sex Education)
Another character who could be put in this section (though behaves with slightly more nuance) is Dean from Golden Girls. Although he does have good qualities – like his close relationship with his sister – he often treats his partners badly.
As well as breaking up with one girlfriend because she didn’t say ‘I love you too,’ after he told her he loved her, later going on to punch one of her boyfriends. And he cheated on one of his wives – which is just one of the ways he behaves in a hostile manner towards a woman.
Also a contender for the yuck quadrant is the character of Adam (Conor Swindells) from Sex Education – at least at the beginning of the programme, when he bullies some characters, even physically beating another character simply because he is gay.
However, the character does have a redemption arc, finishing the programme as a more open-minded, kinder, and less aggressive person.
4. TRAUMA QUADRANT
Big is a character who splits opinion, with some people liking him, and others finding him toxic and a serious contender for the trauma quadrant (pictured L-R: Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie and Chris Noth as Big in Sex and the City)
Mark Darcey from Bridget Jones’ Diary could also be considered a unicorn, whereas Daniel Cleaver might be more appropriately placed in the trauma quadrant (pictured L-R: Colin Firth as Mark Darcey; Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones; Hugh Grant as Daniel Cleaver)
Finally, moving on to the fourth, Amy described it as the ‘smart and evil quadrant’.
‘This is the trauma quadrant,’ she explained. ‘You have your standard narcissists, your situationships that last longer than six months. After that, you’ve got to have conversation. And finally, your guitar players who hate themselves.
‘Notably, I am not allowed to date in the trauma quadrant anymore.’
Describing the matrix as a whole, she said it has ‘never proved [them] wrong’.
Amy continued: ‘It is true for every man we have ever known, we plot the name in each quadrant, and I think you can too.’
When it comes to famous fictional characters who may arguably fall into this category, Big from Sex And The City (at least throughout the majority of the show) could be a contender.
The mysterious wealthy businessman, who is the on-off boyfriend of the programme’s protagonist Carrie, regularly causes her immense heartache.
Among his thoughtless behaviours, he plans a move from New York to France – without telling Carrie, who is his his partner at the time.
Perhaps one of the most villainous leading characters in a recent television programme is stalker and murderer Joe Goldberg in YOU (pictured L-R: Elizabeth Lail as Guinevere Beck and Penn Bagdley as Joe Goldberg)
Then, despite his unwillingness to have a relationship with her, he quickly marries another woman he meets in France. That marriage ends when he cheats on his wife with Carrie, though the pair don’t stay together, only reuniting after Carrie has started a new relationship with another man.
Another fictional smart and evil man is Daniel Cleaver, from the 2001 film Bridget Jones’s Diary.
The antagonist, who once slept with his best friend’s wife (after being best man at the wedding) is a womaniser who Bridget dates, despite being warned about his immoral ways, and he eventually cheats on her too.
Perhaps one of the most evil characters in contemporary television is Joe Goldberg from the Netflix series YOU. His propensity of falling in love with women he doesn’t know, and his devious methods of getting to know them – largely via stalking – is deeply disturbing and dangerous.
But beyond this, over the course of the show, he commits a number of murders (among those he murders are women he once professed to love), framing others for his terrible crimes.
