Freddie Flintoff speaks for the primary time about how he cheated dying

Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff has revealed his Top Gear horror crash has left him struggling with ‘anxiety’, ‘nightmares’ and ‘flashbacks’, as he admitted that he ‘genuinely should not be here’.

The former England cricketer, 46, has spoken for the first time about the devastating impact the car accident has had on his life, in a new TV series for the BBC.

Admitting he had cheated death in the incident, he said he would have to deal with the consequences of the crash ‘for the rest of my life’ and was now ‘different’ to what he used to be.

One piece of footage recorded not long after the incident shows the shocking injuries he sustained. Lying on a bed, with wounds visible on his face, he admits he needs to stop ‘crying every two minutes’.

Flintoff speaks candidly about the mental struggles he has been through in the wake of the accident in forthcoming new BBC documentary series Freddie Flintoff’s Field of Dreams On Tour, which sees him take a group of youngsters on a cricket tour to India.

He was driving an open-topped car when the vehicle flipped over at Dunsfold Park Aerodrome in Surrey in December 2022 as part of filming for Top Gear.

The crash ultimately led to the BBC deciding the car show will not return for the ‘foreseeable future’. Flintoff disappeared from public eye for many months after the incident as he tried to recover.

In footage, filmed some months after the accident, he confesses that since the crash he ‘hardly’ ever leaves the house.

He tells the programme: ‘I struggle with anxiety, I have nightmares, I have flashbacks. It’s been so hard to cope. But I’m thinking if I don’t do summat, I’m never going to do owt. I’ve got to get on with it.’

In the first episode of the new four-part series, which was two years in the making as a result of the accident, there is also footage of Flintoff talking less than two weeks after the crash.

He tells the camera: ‘Week-and-a-half after my accident. Genuinely, should not be here with what happened.

‘It’s going to be a long road back and I’ve only just started and I am struggling already and I need help. I really am.’

He added: ‘I’m not the best at asking for it. I need to stop crying every two minutes. I am looking forward to seeing the lads and being around them. I really am.’

Flintoff tells the programme: ‘Got to look on the positive: I’m still here. I’ve got another chance and I’ve got a go at it. I am seeing that as how it is – a second go.’

When one of the young cricketers on the tour with him asks him if he is 100 per cent now, he replies: ‘Not really. I don’t know if I will again to be honest. I am better than I was.’

He adds: ‘I don’t know what completely better is. I am what I am now. I’m different to what I was. It’s something I will probably have to deal with for the rest of my life. So…better? No, different.’

Flintoff reportedly reached a £9 million settlement with the BBC last year over the accident, paid for by the corporation’s commercial arm. The broadcaster had apologised to him in March 2023 about his injuries.

During the new series, in which he takes a group of youngsters on a cricket tour to India, he admits that while away he may need to ‘take myself off’ to ‘go cry in my room’.

In one part of the programme, filmed seven months after the accident, it is revealed he has had a number of operations. But the programme explains that apart from hospital appointments Flintoff has rarely been leaving the house.

He tells the show: ‘I thought I could just shake it off. I wanted to shake it off and say ‘I’m alright’ but it’s not been a case of that. It’s been a lot harder than I thought. As much as I wanted to go out and do things, I’ve just not been able to.’

In the programme the star tells his friend, former Lancashire teammate Kyle Hogg, that the thought of taking the youngsters on the cricket trip has kept him going during the tough times.

He tells him: ‘I think about it all the time and I think about going and how good it would be.

‘I rewind then, thinking: ‘Well am I…?’ I don’t leave the house hardly. Got to get on a plane, going to be away for two and a half weeks.

‘But some of them lads have had a tough life You’ve got to try and put into perspective. And I feel guilty I can’t do that.

‘I don’t want to sit here and feel sorry for myself and I don’t want sympathy. But it’s going from being in here for seven months, really, and then going to India for two-and-a-half weeks.

‘Everywhere I go at the minute, I’ve got a full face-mask and glasses on. I can’t do that.’

During a discussion about the programme, the cricketer reflected on how the eventual trip to India with the group of youngsters turned out to be a positive experience.

He told journalists: ‘I suppose I found a confidence out there again, which had been lacking a little bit in recent times.’

Flintoff added: ‘I always wanted to get back in it, I probably shouldn’t say it in this room, but I fell into a TV trap and doing TV, this, that and the other.

‘Now, moving forward, obviously I would love to do more coaching, I don’t know in what entity or where. I am quite open-minded about it all and then a little bit of TV as well, carry on with this.’

The first series of Freddie Flintoff’s Field of Dreams, in which he attempted to find ‘untapped cricketing talent in his hometown of Preston’ attracted 3.3 million viewers in the first 30 days when it aired in 2022.

Freddie Flintoff’s Field of Dreams On Tour will air at 9pm on BBC1 on August 13 and also be available on iPlayer.