Putin to hit ‘worst metropolis’ Hull with nuke however three issues make it price saving

Mad Vlad ’s UK targets for nuclear annihilation have been disclosed, but little old Hull is worth saving for three main reasons.

A factory in Hull, a shipyard in Cumbria and an undisclosed target in Edinburgh all face a blasting, reports LBC, should the Russian despot carry out plans to decimate Europe, as experts fear.

It’s thought the Cumbria target is the Royal Navy’s submarine shipyard in Barrow-in-Furness, while a shipyard at Rosyth, just out is believed to be the Scottish target.

READ MORE: Vladimir Putin’s UK nuclear missile targets leaked – with Hull among three priority hits

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It is unclear what the Hull factory is, but the city did host a factory that was part of a larger BAE Systems site. The Brough site, 12 miles west of the city centre, had a long association with manufacturing fighter jets, but now focuses on engineering.

And despite former Australian rugby league player Willie Mason dubbing Hull the “worst place in the world”, there are reasons it should be saved, according to the Daily Star’s very own Ewan Gleadow.

In a March 2023 paen to the City of Culture 2017, he concluded that there are three main things that should make Putin retract his finger from the big red button: cats, car park parties and culture.

“Take it from me, it is far from the ‘worst place in the world’,” Ewan wrote in his opinion piece for the Daily Star.

“From the handful of trips made to the gorgeous port city, it is clear that the people are friendly, the pubs are well-stocked and the car parks are easily converted,” he added, referencing Fruit Market Multi-Storey Car Park.

The friend of felines added that there “are even cats roaming around, domestic or otherwise, although more than likely the former.”

Humber Street Sesh, an annual festive, ‘well-stocked pubs’ and a smattering of galleries should also make the Kremlin chief reconsider his reported decision.

Who knows, the tyrant might enjoy a silent disco at the Fruit Market Multi-Storey Car Park.

And surely Olympic fan Putin (Sochi hosted the Winter Olympics in 2014) wouldn’t want to obliterate the fleet of golden letterboxes honouring Hull’s finest Olympians, would he?

“There is no place like Hull, it is absolutely where the heart is, and the fine array of independent bars, brunch spots and bits of culture, from Ferens Art Gallery to the staggering Hull Minster make it such a treat to experience,” Ewan concluded.

But how can Hull actually protect itself against a Russian missile hurtling towards it?

Well, Google’s Gemini AI software said such an event “would cause catastrophic damage and widespread loss of life.”

However, deterrence, early warning systems and missile defence systems could soften the blow, it added.

The most effective strategy in a nuclear fallout would be shelters, Gemini added. “Having designated fallout shelters with basic supplies would be vital for those who can’t evacuate immediately. These shelters should be sealed to protect from radioactive dust,” it said.

Let’s just hope that Putin doesn’t agree with former Hull KR player Willie Mason and attempt to wipe the ‘worst place in the world’ off the face of the earth.

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