Woman needs to cancel her good friend’s child bathe over ‘impolite’ act

A woman has sparked controversy after she revealed she wanted to pull the plug on her friend’s baby shower when the mom-to-be left her messages unanswered. 

The unnamed 22-year-old took to Reddit to detail the disastrous planning of her pal’s party – admitting that she wanted to cancel it. 

In the post, she confessed to having tried her best to plan her friend’s baby bash.

However, she revealed that she had run into some trouble when the pal she named as Ally began ignoring her messages about the party. 

And when the expectant mom finally hit send on her responses, the pal seemed to have had enough as she revealed that she no longer wanted to throw the event. 

In the Am I The A**hole subreddit, the 22-year-old questioned if she was in the wrong for attempting to shut down the bash over her frustrations with the mom-to-be.

The post was titled: ‘Am I the a**hole for cancelling my friend’s baby shower?’ 

She began the thread by revealing that she would use ‘fake names.’ 

‘My friend Ally (F22) is due to have her first child, a baby girl in November. She’s not very close with her family & as far as I know she’s still not even told any of them that she’s pregnant. 

‘For context, I met Ally just over a year ago as our partners became friends. Three months ago Ally, myself (F22) & our other friend Fiona (F23) started planning to have a baby shower for her, it was also discussed that me and Fiona would cover the costs of everything. 

‘Because none of us had ever been to one, and this would be our first, everything was planned early down to decorations, food, activities, etc. We’ve had invitations made, the only thing we didn’t have sorted was the venue because she said that she would do that. ‘ 

The friend explained that while they were organizing the baby shower, Ally moved into her parents’ home – adding that she had received the thumbs up to have her baby shower at their residence. 

She added: ‘Around the same time as we started planning the baby shower, Ally and her partner moved into her parents’ house. 

‘She said that she had gotten permission and that it would be okay to have the baby shower there so as far as we were concerned the baby shower was happening there!’

And while everything seemed to be going smoothly, it all came to a screeching halt two months later when the expectant mother began ignoring her party planners. 

The post continued: ‘Fast forward two months from then (one month ago from now), we’ve been trying to contact Ally, and have messaged her every day for almost two weeks straight to try and start getting everything sorted. 

‘There were things that she wanted to do cleaning wise to set up for the baby shower and we were happy to help her do that, we also needed to drop off the invitations I had made so she could send them out to her friends. We just needed to know what times would work best for her. Due to her not replying, Fiona and I sort of assumed that she didn’t want to do the baby shower anymore.’ 

And while the two best friends had thought the party was off, their assumption seemed to haunt them when Ally finally responded. 

‘Three days ago, she finally messaged me and said, “Hey sorry I haven’t been in contact, I’ve been sick. When will you next be free for baby shower stuff?”‘

‘Another friend that saw her about a week ago, said she seemed fine. And to add to that, she has a history of saying she’s “sick” when she just doesn’t want visitors. She also posted herself out with her other friends on her story while she was supposedly “sick”. At this point we are one week away from when the shower was meant to happen & I just don’t feel it anymore,’ the original poster said.

‘I should also add that I live in another town about an hour away & have three under five so I don’t really have time to waste, I feel from my point of view I’ve done everything I can to prepare for the shower like I ordered balloons, invitations, gifts for both her & baby, as well as a few more decorations for the shower & have just been waiting on her to reply.’ 

The friend confessed that although she had tried to be understanding to Ally’s situation – adding that she knew how difficult expecting a child could be and the toll it took on you. 

However, she explained that she no longer wanted to be apart of her friend’s special day. At the end of the post, she questioned if she would be an ‘a**hole’ if she pulled the plug on the party. 

She said: ‘I’ve tried to show her grace as I know how hard pregnancy can be & I understand if she needed space but I honestly feel as though I’m just being mucked around.

‘Would I be the a**hole if I cancel the baby shower? A friend of mine said I’m an a**hole for cancelling on her, but I feel she isn’t putting in any effort for the baby shower or our friendship.’ 

People were fiercely divided in the comments section as some users flooded to the anonymous user’s defense. 

One person said: ‘So not the a**hole – if I knew a baby shower was happening for me, I’d do anything to help out the person throwing it! Her not responding for two weeks, is an a**hole move. Pregnant or not! Cancel that s**t. Return everything you’ve ordered!’

Someone else wrote: ‘Not the a**hole. She ghosted the two of you. Seems like she realized her new besties weren’t going to offer to throw a baby shower and figured she’d better get back with y’all. Some people only want friends that they can benefit from.’  

‘Not the a**hole but if you’ve already bought everything I’d just go ahead and throw the party but after I’d probably minimize your contact with her,’ another person commented. 

However, one user claimed that she was in the wrong. 

They wrote: ‘I’m unsure how much effort she’s supposed to be putting in, since you and Fiona are throwing the shower. Why aren’t you and Fiona, as hosts, sending out the invitations? Still, it was rude of her to not answer your messages. Her punishment is that some of her friends probably won’t be able to attend at this late date and she will have to do her own cleaning. 

‘You would be the a**hole to cancel the shower at this point. If that was in the cards, you should have said, “if we don’t hear from you by whatever date, we’ll assume you no longer have an interest in this.”‘