Why did Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck REALLY break up?

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s ‘fairytale’ marriage was doomed from the start, say insiders because there was ‘no way she could control her embattled husband and he couldn’t change her’. 

The singer, 55, filed for divorce on Tuesday and listed the date of separation as April 26, after months of speculation she had parted ways from the actor, 52. 

One huge mistake was Jennifer’s insistence on going public on private aspects of their relationship which fans saw play out on her documentary, The Greatest Love Story Never Told.

In the film, Ben discovered Jennifer had shared his love letters that he had kept private for more than twenty years with musicians. 

The Hollywood star – who has battled alcoholism and a gambling addiction for decades – was ‘taken aback’ she had shared them as he had clung onto his correspondence with the singer during his 13-year marriage to Jennifer Garner. 

He later had the letters and emails bound into a book to gift J-Lo when they reunited in 2021. 

And the marriage got off to a rocky start with Ben’s younger brother Casey, 49, noticeably absent from the union. 

Over the next two years, their relationship was marred by increasingly awkward and tense public encounters and clashes over his love for privacy while she desired the spotlight. 

Of their split, a source told In Touch Weekly: ‘He’s focusing on his work and his kids now. Ben already moved out and they’ll likely have to sell the dream house they spent two years searching for.

‘They’ll never stop loving each other, but she can’t control him, and he can’t change her. There’s no way it could have lasted.’

MailOnline has contacted Ben and Jennifer’s representatives for comment.  

Take a look back through their relationship and all the signs that they were cruising towards divorce…

Jennifer’s HUGE mistake – sharing Ben’s private love letters 

During their two-year marriage, J-Lo filmed a documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told and it was reported at the time to be a point of contention between the now exes. 

In the film, Ben was ‘taken aback’ when he found her musicians rifling through his private love letters which J-Lo had given them to look at as inspiration for her next album. 

He told the camera: ‘My book that I had given her was down there. She’s like “I’ve been reading it to people. This is kind of the inspiration and I’ve been showing them the book.”

‘I was like you’ve been showing all the musicians all those letters… and they were like “Yeah we call you Pen Affleck.” 

‘And I was like “oh my god.”

Of how he liked the letters kept private, Ben added: ‘I did really find the beauty and the poetry and the irony in the fact that it’s the greatest love story never told. If you’re making a record about it, that seems kind of like telling it.’ 

Elsewhere in the documentary, Ben said: ‘Things that are private I always felt are sacred and special because, in part, they’re private.’ 

During the documentary, J-Lo stated: ‘This book is a book Ben gave me on our first Christmas back together. It is every letter and every mail that we wrote each other from 20 years ago and today.’

She highlighted one note that read: ‘The Greatest Love Story Never Told by Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck 2001-2010… and counting…’

The couple got engaged at the end of 2002 but broke it off a year later before calling quits on their relationship for good in 2004.

In the intervening years, J-Lo married and divorced Marc Anthony, with whom she has 16-year-old twins Max and Emme.

Ben and Jennifer Garner started dating in August 2004, before tying the knot the following year. They announced their separation in 2015, with their divorce finalised in 2018.

The pair now co-parent their three children: Violet, 18, Fin, 15, and Samuel, 12.

After the film was released, insiders quashed any notion Jennifer Garner was shocked Ben had kept his love letters to J-Lo during their marriage, insisting she was happy for them – and is also at peace in her relationship with John Miller.

‘Ben would love for the outside world not to know about his love letters, but he is a romantic, and as much as he loved Jennifer, he never got over JLo,’ a source told DailyMail.com.

‘Ben keeps his memories, whether it is from movies he worked on or family and relationship moments, he always has what the kids call “receipts”.’

They continued: ‘No one is surprised by this at all. Jennifer is OK with it, JLo obviously loves it and everyone notices that all this was meant to be.

‘Jennifer and Ben have their wonderful children and are both enjoying the relationships they have always wanted to be in.’

Fairytale marriage gets off to a rocky start as Ben’s brother misses the wedding 

The couple tied the knot in August 2022 in a breathtaking wedding ceremony at Ben’s $8.9 million Georgia ‘plantation’. 

But eagled-eyed fans noticed Ben’s brother Casey Affleck was noticeably absent.  

Asked why he wasn’t at his brother’s wedding, Casey mumbled ‘I have other things to do,’ then would not clarify whether that was what he said.  

A source close to the actor later told People magazine Casey was stuck in LA ‘unfortunately because of family, parental obligations at home.’

Casey shares two sons he shares with ex-wife Summer Phoenix.

JLo snaps at Ben at the Grammy Awards

Tongues first started wagging when the pair appeared to have a tense exchange at the Grammy Awards in February 2023, though they both later brushed it off.

Ben’s forlorn expression saw him become a meme on the night and a video of Jennifer seemingly snapping at him spread across social media.

The Armageddon star was seen whispering in his wife’s ear, before she suddenly pulled away and said something to him with a harsh expression on her face.

But the two were seated next to host Trevor Noah, who was on camera in the middle of the exchange.

As soon as they realised they were being filmed, they adopted blank looks and turned toward the camera. 

Fans who were able to read the couple’s lips later theorised Jennifer had been scolding Ben for not looking ‘friendly’ or ‘motivated’ during the ceremony

Ben slams a car door on Jennifer 

In May of 2023, fans of the couple got a surprisingly unvarnished look at the apparent tensions between them during a public outing.

The couple were out and about in Los Angeles and had an awkward moment as they got back in their car.

First, he opened Jennifer’s passenger door for her in a seemingly chivalrous display.

But then the stone-faced Ben — who fans thought looked ‘stressed’ in the moment — let his arm fly and slammed the door shut behind his wife.

She was already safely in the car and out of the way, but the display shocked and disturbed some of JLo and Ben’s fans.

It’s not clear if there were tensions that day between the two, or if other factors led him to get ‘stressed,’ but the two didn’t betray any sign of tension earlier in the day when they were seen holding hands as they walked toward the car, with Ben sporting a big grin as he carried a large iced coffee, while Jennifer sipped on a smaller hot drink.

Awkward display at The Mother premiere 

Shortly after the outing, the couple raised eyebrows when they were seen attending the premiere of Jennifer’s film The Mother in Los Angeles.

In an awkward moment while posing on the red carpet, Jennifer could be seen frowning and gesticulating at her husband, who looked angry, though a lipreader later clarified that it was far from an argument.

After they were snapped having their apparently tense conversation, they soon reverted to Hollywood mode with beaming grins and stage-worthy kisses.

A lipreader determined that Jennifer asked Ben if her low-cut top was ‘showing too much,’ leading him to respond that it looked fine.

Later, when the couple managed to find their right pose, the Air director asked his wife to get a little closer, then he leaned into her ear and said, ‘Don’t worry, babe.’

To which Jennifer seemingly responded, ‘Come close to me.’

Moving out

Ben was previously reported to have moved out of the $60 million home he shared with Jennifer. 

The mother-of-two was seen house hunting in Beverly Hills without Ben in May.  

‘He’s focusing on his work and his kids now. Ben already moved out and they’ll likely have to sell the dream house they spent two years searching for,’ the insider went on to say. 

‘They’ll never stop loving each other, but she can’t control him, and he can’t change her. There’s no way it could have lasted.’ 

It has only been about a year since Lopez and Affleck bought the $60.85 million, 46,000-square foot abode they currently own.

The home — referred to as the ‘Wallingford estate’ — sits on a five-acre promontory and boasts 12 bedrooms and 24 bathrooms.

Ben was later reported to have moved into a rental property in Los Angeles’ tony Brentwood neighborhood.

It’s conveniently located for the star, as it is near his ex-wife Jennifer Garner’s home, so their children don’t have to go far when their committed co-parents do hand offs. 

J-Lo cancels her US tour 

After Ben moved out to a $100,000-a-month rental in Brentwood in May, J.Lo cancelled her entire summer tour in an apparent bid to salvage the marriage.

A statement read: ‘Jennifer Lopez’s US Summer 2024 Tour THIS IS ME…LIVE is canceled.

‘Jennifer is taking time off to be with her children, family and close friends,’ it was added.

Jennifer sent a message to her fans through her OntheJLo site.

‘I am completely heartsick and devastated about letting you down,’ the Hustlers star began.

‘Please know that I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t feel that it was absolutely necessary.

‘I promise I will make it up to you and we will all be together again. I love you all so much. Until next time…’ wrote the producer.

A source told DailyMail.com Lopez was sad to be dropping out of the tour, which was selling well, but needed to be home at this time.

‘She’s taking time off to be with family and close friends,’ said the insider as they noted she had been rehearsing often for the show and was ready to commit, but felt it was time for a break.

‘This was a very difficult decision made by Jennifer this week and she’s sorry to her fans.’

Solo appearances

Fans previously pointed out the pair had been spending a lot of time apart lately, and attending events without each other. 

Jennifer was pictured stepping out without husband Ben earlier in May, amid rumours the Hollywood couple were headed for a split.

Jennifer went solo to the Met Gala in Manhattan on May 6.

She was serving as a co-chair at the glamorous fundraising event, so many observers were surprised that Ben didn’t attend to offer her support during the high-stakes event.

Ben was said to have been working on The Accountant 2 at the time, but a source said he ‘decided to call it quits’ on his marriage to the singer.

Meanwhile, Affleck was on his own while appearing at The Roast of Tom Brady on May 5th.

During their last outing together, the pair appeared strained, with neither cracking a smile as they grabbed lunch at Cecconi’s.

The pair have also appeared tense during previous outings, including when they were embroiled in a heated discussion during their St Barts getaway.

Just months earlier in September, Jennifer was seen looking very tense as she sat in the passenger seat of a car alongside Ben as they drove around Los Angeles.

Graduation party reunion 

Ben and Jennifer appeared to reunite in late May for his daughter Violet’s high school graduation party.

The couple arrived together with his mother Christopher Anne Boldt at the party and seemed to put on a united front.

It had previously been two weeks since they had been spotted together at a movie event supporting Ben’s ex Jennifer Garner.

However, the acting couple’s quick getaway and the aftermath of the party indicated that it was not a substantial reunion.

The two had melancholy expressions on their faces in photos of them snapped at the party, and they didn’t display any kind of affection as they walked up to the house together while Ben carried a basket with a gift for Violet, who was later confirmed to be going to Yale in the fall.

The trio left the party together in Ben’s BMW, but he drove straight to his Brentwood rental.

Shortly afterward, Jennifer ended the short-lived reunion when she was seen leaving the rental with her assistant in her Escalade, as Ben and his mother stayed behind.

The Greatest Love Story Never Told documentary strain 

Jennifer’s decision to release her Amazon Prime documentary, ‘The Greatest Love Story Never Told,’ in February, which chronicled her love story with Ben, seemingly put a strain on the pair’s marriage.

The candid show was the third part of her very public $20 million tribute to Ben, which also consisted of ‘This Is Me… Now: A Love Story’, a semi autobiographical ‘musical rom-com action sci-fi’ film and her single, This Is Me… Now.

The source said: ‘Ben would never try to stifle [Jennifer]’s dreams or tell her she can’t do something that advances her career, even though she can be quite controlling of him.’

They detailed the highs and lows of their rekindled romance in the new documentary, with Ben revealing he initially asked his wife to keep their relationship offline when they decided to give things another ago.

While navigating their reconciliation, two decades following their first engagement, the two-time Oscar winner admitted he had zero interest in becoming a fixture on his wife’s social media accounts.

‘Getting back together, I said, ‘Listen, one of the things I don’t want is a relationship on social media,’ the actor recalled.

‘Then I sort of realized it’s not a fair thing to ask. It’s sort of like, you’re gonna marry a boat captain and you go, “Well, I don’t like the water.”‘

He continued: ‘We’re just two people with different kinds of approaches trying to learn to compromise.’

Jennifer’s own friends ‘are fed up of her antics’ 

Jennifer’s own friends have suggested the actress needs to ‘look inside herself’ after she filed for divorce from Ben, ending her fourth marriage.

A source close to the star told DailyMail.com said those close to Lopez are growing tired of her chaotic love life.

‘After four failed marriages, her friends feel that she should take a look inside and focus on herself instead of what others want her to be and finally figure out who she is and what she wants from her future,’ the insider said.

But the source told DailyMail.com that the My Love Don’t Cost A Thing star isn’t the only one capable of playing mind games.

Explaining Affleck’s take-the-high-road approach, the insider said: ‘Jennifer said she was tired of being humiliated by Ben and she waited until the two year anniversary because she wanted to sting.

‘But it did not sting him. He’s been done for a long time and deep down she knows this. He let her have this so that she wouldn’t look like the villain.’

DailyMail.com has approached representatives for both Affleck and Lopez about the claims. 

Fears Ben has ‘relapsed and is DRINKING again’

Fears are mounting for Ben Affleck’s sobriety, with some sources claiming he is already drinking again as divorce from Jennifer Lopez looms.

Speaking exclusively to DailyMail.com, friends say the actor – who has battled alcoholism and a gambling addiction for decades – is suffering ‘acute sadness’ as his marriage collapses.

They claim Affleck is either ‘at risk’ of slipping off the wagon, or is already back on the booze.

One said: ‘I hear that he is drinking. He is full of demons – a really troubled person.’

While another added: ‘I have seen him looking glassy eyed and it is a real worry to everyone who cares about him.’

Representatives for Affleck did not respond to requests for comment. 

Jennifer Garner previously said of her embattled ex in 2016: ‘He’s just a complicated guy.

‘I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it. But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.’ 

 Divorce 

The singer filed for divorce on Tuesday and listed the date of separation as April 26, after months of speculation she had parted ways from the actor.  

This marks Jennifer’s fourth failed marriage and Ben’s second.

The couple first sparked separation rumours when they had gone 47 days without being seen together. 

Split speculation continued as they did not spend a number of holidays over the summer together and Lopez also walked the red carpet alone at the Met Gala in May — which was also when Lopez called off her world tour ‘to be with her family.’

Since then, the pair have been spending summers on opposite coasts and did not spend their anniversary together.