Driver is mocked for driveway bollards – can YOU spot the issue?

A photo of what could be Britain’s most useless bollards has gone viral after the security measure was mercilessly mocked online.

But it has attracted attention for all the wrong reasons after they were roundly laughed at on X.

The image, posted by Birmingham resident and musician Dr Helen Ingram on her X account, shows a residential driveway containing a single car but with two large theft-prevention bollards at the entrance to the driveway.

Dr Ingram captioned the picture with a thumbs up emoji and said jokingly: ‘These bollards should keep their car secure.’

The image has been seen 1.5 million times, and has more than 800 comments and 17,000 likes. 

The image of the bollards has been seen 1.5 million times, and has more than 800 comments and 17,000 likes

Eagle-eyed critics were quick to see the downside – with two large patches of grass either side meaning a vehicle could still easily be stolen.

But others struggled to see the funny side and began explaining in the comments why they thought the bollards were in place.

Dr Ingram then joked with a follower that her post had started ‘a mansplaining convention’.

One X user who went to great lengths to explain away the ‘useless’ bollards wrote: ‘You’re missing a rather obvious point. It is based on a two car configuration.

‘Once both are in the drive, there is no room for manoeuvre.

‘It is also used for caravans and camper vans. Not to mention commercial vans.’

But another snapped back: ‘None of which of course, could possibly drive over grass.’

One said: ‘Got a similar example a few streets away from us. Two driveways side by side, no barrier between them but only one has a security pole. Absolutely pointless.’

Another quipped: ‘No car thief worth his salt would drive over the grass.’

Multiple users all suggested adding a sign to the lawn to deter would-be thieves: ‘Job’s a good ‘un as long as it also has ‘Keep Off The Grass’ signs too.’

An account calling itself the Department of Social Engineering, Censorship and Satire chuckled: ‘Helen, our research shows that the thing that matters most to car thieves is tidy lawns, and they will not, under any circumstances, damage them.’

‘This is like putting your sock on the outside of your shoe,’ another laughed.

However one did offer a more practical explanation, saying: ‘I sense someone who is really hacked off with people doing a u-turn in their drive.’

And Dr Ingram added: ‘People getting genuinely angry about this is sending me off.’