The mums ditching back-to-school drudgery to jet off on spa breaks…

Floating on her back in the deliciously warm Adriatic Sea while wearing a glamorous bikini, Victoria Warnes didn’t have a care in the world.

Her enjoyment was all the sweeter because back at home in Berkshire her children Olivia, ten, and Wills, seven, were buckling down in the classroom at the start of the new school year while her husband Rich, a business consultant, was holding the fort solo on the domestic front.

‘At home, I’m usually the operations director for the whole family, but each year at the height of the back-to-school routine, I’m simply not there,’ she says.

‘Last year, instead of dealing with the chaos, I was staying with five girlfriends, all mums, in a luxurious hotel in Dubrovnik, Croatia, enjoying 90-minute massages and hour-long facials in the sunshine.’ And this indulgent trip last September wasn’t a one-off – it’s an annual longed-for escape. This week, while other parents pack lunches, re-establish bedtime routines and soothe any lingering fears over new classes or teachers, Victoria, 41, will once again be heading to Dubrovnik for a luxury holiday.

So is she a statistical blip, an unusual mum putting herself first by jetting off at the start of September when you might think her ­children need her most?

It would appear not. In fact, she’s one of a growing number of ‘back-to-spa’ mums, who shrug off the rigours of balancing work and childcare throughout the summer holidays with a much-needed getaway – that conveniently puts them out of the country for the action-packed start of term.

‘My friends and I have enjoyed our back-to-spa holidays for the last five years,’ ­Victoria says. ‘We all agree it’s worth the very steep four-figure sum we spend – we joke that we could have spent more than that on therapy bills from the stress of looking after the ­children all summer.’

Luckily, while Victoria is de-stressing, her 44-year-old husband is on hand for the ­children. ‘Rich works from home,’ she explains. ‘It’s a bit mad for him racing around doing drop-offs when he has to be on calls at 9am, but he does it.

‘The same goes at the end of the day when he’s on pick-ups or waiting to collect them when they’ve finished after-school clubs. It’s definitely a rush around for him.’ So does she picture the chaos while she basks in the sunshine, and secretly feel she should really be at home?

‘I didn’t miss my family at all last year – that sounds awful doesn’t it?

‘But my friends and I felt so blissed out, relaxing with no little people arriving in our bedrooms with 300 questions. The feeling carried us through the whole winter.’

For Victoria, the summer holidays are the equivalent of ‘two ­full-time jobs’, as she explains: ‘I run a business helping train women to offer up-to-date antenatal advice. So I’m in my home office working with the kids around my feet or on their iPads. I have to react to everything on my own from 8am until 6pm. Kids’ holiday clubs cost £80 a day for both children and it just wasn’t possible to fork out £2,400 to put them in for the full six weeks.’

So stressful does she find the childcare, however, that she then spends almost as much as she’s saved on kids’ clubs on a luxury break to recover.

But there’s a reason Victoria is determined to prioritise her peace of mind. At the age of 35, she had a ‘stress-related’ heart attack six weeks after her son was born.

‘Back then, I was an advertising executive, working crazy hours. I worked up until very close to my due date with each pregnancy, but the heart attack gave me the impetus I needed to change things.’

Like so many mothers, she’d been taking on more than her fair share of chores, but decided that had to change. ‘I sat down with my husband to talk to him about the house and family responsibilities, to explain that I simply couldn’t do it all. Now he sees the laundry bag is full and he puts a wash on. I don’t have to ask every time.’

Her group holiday at such a crucial time is another way to balance out responsibilities in the household. She says all her female friends were desperate to escape the back-to-school grind. ‘We unanimously decided to do this. The first time, we found a British Airways deal and a super luxurious hotel with a spa. The thought kept me going throughout the summer.

‘Although, mums being mums, we do feel guilty and we have to ­constantly remind ourselves that we deserve it.’

Not everyone was immediately convinced, however.

‘At first, my husband baulked because of the price, but when I explained that I could spend that amount on a year’s gym membership, I knew I’d got him. I’d done my homework and I had an answer to everything about why it was important for me to go.’

Victoria took an equally robust approach when she told the children. ‘When they asked me, “Why are you going away, Mum?” I said I need to look after myself for a few days. I didn’t say: “I’ll miss you.” I kept it upbeat, explaining it’s good for mothers to have a few days away. And it’s good for the children to see Mum isn’t just there to serve their needs.’

Alexandra Tribe, from Havant, Hampshire, would agree wholeheartedly with that. Each September, she heads off for a luxury yoga retreat in Greece and estimates each week away costs £3,000.

Alexandra, who is in her 40s, has been escaping the back-to-school grind for the last seven years.

She says: ‘Like many working mothers, the school holidays are a time I really look forward to… and also dread in equal measure. The freedom from routine is wonderful and we’re lucky enough to live on the south coast, where the children can head to the beach, sail, bike and burn off lots of energy outdoors.

‘At the same time, I work full-time running a law firm, splitting my time between the country and London. It means I can’t always be where the children want me to be, when they want me to be.’

Alexandra is an international divorce lawyer whose firm has offices in Singapore, London and Abu Dhabi. And her work ‘ramps up’ over the summer, as the high net worth individuals she works with may fall out – and decide to divorce – during the course of long, luxurious summer travel.

‘This added spike of adrenalin after a full-on summer juggling work and childcare isn’t great for the human body,’ she admits.

Alexandra’s children, aged 14 and 11, attend a prep school and board a couple of nights a week during term time, which allows her to work three days in London. She also has a nanny to take them to school – vital for a guilt-free September getaway.

But the long working hours mean that even during the school year, Alexandra feels frazzled.

Seven years ago, it was actually her husband who urged her to go on her first back-to-spa retreat.

‘I had started to suffer from anxiety and heart palpitations. We were out with friends when someone mentioned they were going on a yoga retreat to Greece with one spare place left. I’d never thought of taking time off for myself, but when someone said, “Why don’t you come?” my husband jumped in and insisted I go.’

The time away was a revelation. ‘At first, I miss my to-do list,’ she admits. ‘But after a day or two, it’s strange, I get used to not having one. For me, yoga silences the ­constant mental reminders and nagging tasks. I do daily yoga classes, eat healthy food, enjoy massages – and relax with wine in the evening too.’

Since then, Alexandra has been on another six retreats run by Blessed Yoga – and she isn’t the only mother who signs up to their luxury getaways.

‘I have to sign up months in advance to get a place on their September retreat,’ she says.

She fervently believes her whole family feels the benefits.

‘It took a while for me to accept that it wasn’t selfish for me to go away. But the truth is, I come back so much more calm and relaxed, it’s better for everyone.

‘I do talk to the children about what I’m doing. They don’t mind me going away because they see how stretched I am working and looking after them. They are the ones telling me, “Go, Mummy! We’ll be fine.” While we go away in the summer, usually to ­Cornwall or France, I do get the odd twinge of guilt that I’m jetting off to a rather more exciting destination alone. The thing is, I’m actually a really nice person when I come back.’

Raz Wright, 46, is another back-to-spa veteran. She lives in Hampshire with her husband and children, Amaya, 11, and Zayn, eight, and every September for the last three years, she has gone away with her girlfriends while the children go back to school and her husband looks after the childcare.

‘I think about nothing while I’m lying on the massage bed, except perhaps what cocktail I’ll order later in the evening. I’m definitely not thinking about homework or online shopping orders.

‘In the past, we have been to Morocco, Soho Farmhouse in the Cotswolds and Newquay for ­surfing (never again – it was far too cold!). This September, it’s a posh cottage with a hot tub in the New Forest, as well as a day at the luxury Chewton Glen Spa with full-body massages, facials and a champagne lunch.’

Like the other back-to-spa mothers, Raz says a summer of running her own beauty business, and her home, is more than she can cope with. ‘When I’m home I’m cooking, cleaning, organising play dates, operating a taxi service for the children. By the end of August, I’m pretty broken.

‘So, no, I don’t see this as abandoning my kids – they’re not babies any more and I did wait a fortnight before going when my daughter started secondary school last year.’

This September, Raz estimates her spa break will cost more than £700. In the past, they’ve been well over £1,000. As for family holidays, they’re usually taken outside of spring and ­summer because of the demands of her business. We either go away in February, May or October. Not this year though, because I messed up and discovered my daughter’s passport was out of date. It meant we missed our flights.’

She says the whole extended family chip in to make her holiday possible. ‘When I go away, my husband can usually take a day or two off work to sort the kids. But if he’s too busy, they get shipped off either to one of my sisters or their grandparents. Fortunately the grandparents love it and live close enough to take them to school.

‘Do I feel guilty? No. I work hard and our children have a nice life. My children are growing up to be independent and they don’t question my need for “me time” at all. They never ask, “Are we invited on this one, Mum?” I’m really fortunate that their dad steps up and is happy to be as hands-on as me, too.

‘I know of some women who go on a September break, but have to prep meals and leave huge to-do lists for their husbands, but that’s not the case in my group of girlfriends.

‘I think all mums should get to have a complete break – even if it clashes with the start of the school term.’

Victoria Warnes couldn’t agree more. ‘It’s not about the budget. As mothers, we can’t pour from an empty cup and children benefit from Mum being relaxed.

‘Next year maybe I’ll go for longer – or am I pushing my luck?’