AMANDA PLATELL: How lengthy earlier than Taylor shakes Travis off?

The stardust had only just settled on Taylor Swift’s epic Eras world tour when lurid conspiracy ­theories started to emerge that her much-publicised romance with American footballer Travis Kelce might be some kind of sham.

It was rumoured that it was a ‘fauxmance’ devised by their publicists to get maximum exposure, and millions, for the couple.

Seemingly doctored documents, allegedly leaked from Travis’s PR company Full Scope, outlined in a ‘fake media plan’ a timeline for the romance, suggesting it would end on September 28. But the documents turned out to be fakes. A spokesman for Full Scope was emphatic that they were ‘false and fabricated’.

Even more pointedly, on Thursday, Taylor turned up at Travis’s football game in Kansas City – leaving hand-in-hand with him.

Swifties don’t believe a word of the ‘fauxmance’ rumour-mongering. They know their songstress goddess, princess of the break-up ballad, would never be complicit in any deception. For now, at least, Travis and Taylor give every appearance of being rock-solid – but what about the many men before him? And why exactly is it that, aged 34, ­billionaire Tay-Tay is still ­unmarried after all the high-­profile relationships she’s had?

Look at the way she mentions her flings when she sings. Pop star Joe Jonas, whom she dated for three months, was the inspiration for her hit Forever & Always. Brit Matt Healy, of band The 1975, turned up in Taylor’s songs ­Fortnight and Guilty As Sin.

There was British actor Joe Alwyn, the subject of London Boy.

Jake Gyllenhaal was memorialised in All Too Well, while Swifties believe a two-month relationship with Harry Styles inspired her entire album 1989. And let’s not forget her time with actor Tom Hiddleston.

Taylor reminds me of a female praying mantis, who devours their mate when they tire of them. She monetises every ­coupling – and in its cold-hearted way, it’s almost impressive.

I hope she and Travis have a great future together. But on the basis of her previous behaviour towards men, I fear it may not be too long before she shakes him off just like all the others.

Carry on doctor…

A damning report says most GP appointments will ‘soon’ not be ­carried out by a doctor but some quasi-­medical person.

Soon? Having been repeatedly emailed by my local GP practice and threatened that if I did not present myself in person – after a ­two-month wait for an appointment – they would block what for me are essential drugs, I was contacted by their in-house pharmacist.

Nice chap, five-minute phone call, but he didn’t have a clue.

Has Daniel spied a possible Oscar? 

Fans may be bewildered as to why Daniel Craig has stirred and shaken off his Bond image and is now scruffily unrecognisable in his role as a gay guy stuck in the closet in new movie Queer, which features explicit sex scenes and has received rave reviews.

Maybe it’s because he’s ­gagging for that so-far-elusive Oscar. After all, it worked for Tom Hanks in Philadelphia, Rami Malek in Bohemian Rhapsody, Sean Penn in Milk and Matthew McConaughey in Dallas Buyers Club. Or is it that at 56, Dan’s realising that in Hollywood, you only live once as a Bond hunk?

• Having watched the first episode of Nicole Kidman’s new Netflix series The Perfect Couple, I have to diverge from the glowing reviews. Rich, spoilt, dysfunctional women in exotic locations, plus a mystery death: it is a poor man’s White Lotus – but minus Jennifer Coolidge. Unlike frozen-faced Nicole, Jennifer can speak and move her face at the same time. 

Tell us the naked truth please, Demi

The divine, age-­defying Demi Moore says the reason she has so often appeared naked in magazines and movies is that she’s always felt insecure: ‘One of the biggest misconceptions about me is that I loved my body.’ And what a body! At 61, she looks fabulous. Alas, in her honest outpourings, no mention of how the mum-of-three has the perky breasts of a 30-year-old.

 ++Westminster wars++

• Cat-loving Starmer sceptics were cheered when the PM brought a kitten into No 10 – until we learned the animal is a pedigree Siberian, which cost up to £3,000, while thousands of unwanted kittens languish in cat homes. I’m guessing a rescue moggie is too down-market for Sir Keir and his wife Lady Vic. Who, by the way, we’ve hardly seen since he became PM.

•   The honeymoon for Labour is clearly over when even the Guardian describes Chancellor Rachel Reeves as the ‘Ministering Angel of Death’ in charge of ‘Project Miserable’ and that the mere mention of the £22billion black hole in public finances makes her eyes ‘light up’.

• Angela Rayner vows to reform Lady Thatcher’s council home right-to-buy scheme, having benefited from it herself when she sold her house for a £48,500 profit. Ange reminds me of my ex-cleaner. This staunch socialist, who bought and sold her North London council house, now lives in Spain in a luxury villa – and is still spitting chips about Lady T.

A tanned Prince William arrives at an exhibition for the homeless looking impossibly handsome with a rugged half-beard, not ­dissimilar to his brother Harry’s.

Both princes are rapidly going bald – which appears to be the only thing they still have in common.

King Charles is selling silk head scarves, similar to those worn by his mother, for £85 at Sandringham. The real favourites of the late Queen – and my mother – were £300 Hermes scarves. Over the years I gave mum ten. I now wear them and swear I can still smell her Penhaligon’s Elisabethan Rose scent five years after she died. 

Feel a hol lot better, Naomi?

Having spent much of the summer travelling the world and partying with her new DJ lover Rampa, Naomi ­Campbell, 54, says she sees this year as her ‘rebirth’ and is ‘focused on the future’. Behind the scenes, one can only assume that her two young surrogate children are having a jolly holiday, too.

The Grenfell Tower fire tragedy continues. Three firms accused of ‘systematic dishonesty’ over the cladding on the building are still worth billions, while the bereaved will have to wait years before any criminal charges are brought. A towering shame.

Flogging her memoir Life, Lessons, And Learning To Trust Yourself, bikini supermodel Elle Macpherson, 60, claims she cured her breast cancer by rejecting chemotherapy and meditating on a beach. Crikey, if we’d only known that when my brother Michael was diagnosed with cancer decades ago, he might still be with us!