Rich make fortunes right here then flee UK reasonably than pay their share

Expect to hear a lot of self-pitying whines from people made wealthy beyond your wildest dreams over the next couple of months.

According to Henley & Partners, a “migration consultancy” which helps the rich shuffle their fortunes around beneficial tax regimes, 9,500 ­millionaires will leave the UK this year, mainly due to Labour proclaiming that those with “the broadest shoulders” will be made to pay their fair dues to fix our broken economy.

So, despite the fact that under 14 years of Tory rule when the rich saw their wealth boom to the point that we now have more than 3,000,000 millionaires, some of these noble patriots exhibit zero loyalty to the country that helped them make their pile of gold.

Off they will jet to turn into dried and bitter prunes on sun-soaked patios, weeping at how the country they love has gone to the dogs now that the socialists are in power.

It’s funny how they never move to say France, the US or Germany but places with minimal tax rates, isn’t it? Look at Richard Branson relocating to the British Virgin Islands which has no income tax or capital gains tax.

Or Dubai. That’s where Reform-backing Charlie Mullins, the Pimlico Plumbers multimillionaire with the Halloween face and tragic mullet, is heading, refusing to give another penny to this Labour government. At least he’ll keep good company with Jim Davidson, who ­scarpered to Dubai in 2004, in protest at taxation under Tony Blair, although HMRC were after him for an unpaid £700,000 bill at the time.

A writer called Sophia Money-Coutts (a name so rich you can smell her ­family’s bank notes) has moaned about many of
her “privately educated professional” chums fleeing Britain because, as one of them put it, “nothing works here any more”. Well whose fault is that? Maybe they should have a word with the privately educated unprofessionals in Tory Cabinets who put the country’s infrastructure on life support.

Why do we allow the rich to think that their taxes alone keep the country running? That only their wealth is “hard-earned” so they have every right to shield it from the taxman? That they are special people who deserve to be pampered?

Well I hope the emigres enjoy living in those misogynistic, gay-hating, alcohol-denying, human-rights abusing, Gulf states. I’d rather lose 10 of them for every trained doctor, engineer, scientist or teacher who leaves for countries that better value their skills.

As I said earlier, we have millions of millionaires now. So losing 9,500 of the most venal, sour-faced, unpatriotic parasites among us is no bad thing. Especially if we introduce the kind of Exit Tax seen in Australia and Canada, which penalises all citizens who leave for tax purposes.

Let’s celebrate this purging of the graspers by turning their mansions into flats for young people who can’t get on the property ladder. Maybe the jobs they get their offspring through nepotism, after buying their education, can go to kids with plenty of brains but no connections.

Maybe there will be fewer hospitality boxes in football grounds for them to freeload into, meaning the poorest of the working class can watch their game again. The more I think about it, if any whining millionaire is not driven out by next month’s Budget, they can throw me the keys to their Bentley and I’ll chauffeur them to Heathrow.