I’ve met RFK Jr and know what makes Juiced Granddad so irresistible

New York Magazine has put its sexy, pouting star-writer Olivia Nuzzi in time out over a sexting relationship with randy (and married!) septuagenarian RFK Jr.

Wait, are you telling me female reporters flirt with their sources?

That can’t possibly be true.

As Naughty Nuzzi tweeted in 2015: ‘Why does Hollywood think female reporters sleep with their sources?’

That resurfaced tweet prompted a slew of ‘that aged well’ responses, though, I have to say, not as well as Bobby Jr has with his rippling abs and rock-hard, dirt-brown pecs.

But did Nuzzi, a babe at 31, even stand a chance against Juiced Granddad?

Is it Bobby’s impossibly blue eyes, that sculpted physique, the aging Katherine Hepburn voice or the Camelot crown he’s forged for himself that’s so irresistible?

I know that he won me over last month when he belatedly fussed up to dumping a bear carcass in Manhattan’s Central Park in 2014, sparking a decades-long mystery.

What a cad!

The truth is I’ve met RFK Jr a few times and he has an undeniable personal charm and magnetism.

To be honest, he’s a walking Viagra commercial.

A lady can just picture herself settling down next to him in side-by-side bathtubs and holding hands as the sun drops below the horizon.

Whatever ‘it’ is, he was born with it… and, has a history, of abusing it.

He reportedly wrote in an infamous personal diary about his ‘lust demons’ and tracked and rated his sex-capades with dozens of women like a kid with prized Pokémon cards.

Gotta collect ’em all!

His late, ex-wife Mary Richardson, mother of four of his children, was tormented by his philandering, according to her friends.

She hanged herself in the family barn during their bitter divorce, custody battle and her struggle with depression and alcoholism.

Bobby – ever the gentlemen – had her grave exhumed and unceremoniously moved from the Kennedy family plot in Hyannis Port, to be replanted in an obscure section of the cemetery – against her family’s wishes.

Why in the world would someone do that?

‘[RFK Jr] didn’t realize how crowded the area was until after the funeral,’ the local gravedigger said in 2012. ‘He opted for an area of the cemetery where there is room for future expansion.’

I write all of this not to let Nuzzi off the hook – but to explain why this is the least surprising development of 2024.

In a presidential cycle that involved a bloodless coup, two assassination attempts, a pregnant nanny, porn star testimony, a burning Middle East war and more pantless pictures of a First Son than I can count, this barely makes the shock scale.

Some journalists are intoxicated by proximity to power – and the Kennedys ruin women.

Pick up my DailyMail colleague Maureen Callahan’s book ‘Ask Not: The Kennedys and the Women They Destroyed’.

Read for yourself how President John F Kennedy and RFK Jr’s father Bobby passed around Marilyn Monroe like a bad cold.

Or about Mimi Alford, the 19-year-old White House intern, who says JFK took her virginity in the White House bedroom that he shared with Jackie.

Or about Mary Jo Kopechne, the young campaign worker, left for dead (but likely very much alive) by a young drunk Ted Kennedy in a submerged car on Chappaquiddick Island off of Martha’s Vineyard.

RFK Jr comes from a long line of men who took advantage of their position and allure. And, as of now, he’s not denying this inappropriate relationship with a reporter nearly four decades his junior.

Part of me is mortified for his current wife, Cheryl Hines.

She’s certainly been through the wringer!

When her conspiratorial husband – who believes that weed killer is turning teens trans and Wifi causes cancer – dropped out of the presidential race in August and endorsed Trump, Hollywood turned on her like a pig on a spit.

Ex-West Wing wanker-turned-perennial supporting actor Bradley Whitford led the Hinesian ex-communication from the Holier-Than-Thou Church posting:

‘Hey @CherylHines, way to stay silent while your lunatic husband throws his support behind the adjudicated rapist who brags about stripping women of their fundamental rights. Gutsy. Great example for the kids. Profile in courage.’

To which Bobby Kennedy replied, ‘What kind of man would do that?’

Indeed, Bobby: What kind of man?

But don’t feel too bad for ol’ Cheryl.

She was dating RFK Jr when Mary was still alive and Cheryl was reportedly posting on social media about all the fun places she was going with Bobby.

She deleted those posts when Mary died.

As for Nuzzi, it’s a doozy.

New York Magazine has placed her on leave, writing, ‘Had the magazine been aware of this relationship, she would not have continued to cover the presidential campaign… We regret this violation of our readers’ trust.’

Nuzzi is also currently on leave from her former fiancé, Politico’s chief Washington correspondent Ryan Lizza.

Lizza, 50, released his own statement (no doubt, while crying in the shower): ‘Because of my connection to this story through my ex-fiancée, my editors and I have agreed that I won’t be involved in any coverage of Kennedy.’

It’s tragedy all around.

Even RFK Jr knew this was coming.

‘I’ve got so many skeletons in my closet that if they could vote, I would be king of the world,’ he told a crowded ballroom this summer when asked about an allegation that he’d sexually assaulted a former family babysitter.

I guess that’s one way to look at it, pal.

He’s got skeletons, he’s got abs and he has aspirations for leadership.

If only he had a moral compass.

That would be the biggest surprise of all.