So many staff gown appallingly – these are the worst offenders

Senior Labour politicians have been pilloried for accepting thousands of pounds from donors for new clothes. I get it, but I don’t think their behaviour was entirely bad.

Hear me out.

At least taking the cash for clobber shows an awareness that being decently dressed at work matters – in politics as it does in business.

It’s actually quite refreshing that Starmer, Rayner and Reeves – a trio whose socialist style inspiration seems to have emanated from behind the Berlin Wall in the early 1980s – want to smarten up.

Far too many people either don’t know how to dress at work or, more likely, just couldn’t care less what they look like.

Unlike many contemporary occupational evils, this cannot be pinned on the woke younger generation. Over forties are just as slipshod.

Nor can it be blamed entirely on the pandemic, which many seized upon as an opportunity to work from home looking like Wayne and Waynetta Slob from the Harry Enfield sketch, simply flinging on a jacket and combing their hair when confronted with a Zoom call.

Standards were deteriorating well before Covid, though the lockdowns certainly made matters worse.

The Silicon Valley ‘bros’ who wear grey hoodies and jeans despite being multi-billionaires have a lot to answer for.

What their imitators don’t seem to have grasped is that Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk can wear what they like, precisely because they are multi-billionaires. If you’re Steve from Slough, not so much.

I have been a senior executive in finance for a long time and I have to say that even at boardroom level, workplace attire has become increasingly unprofessional and often downright sloppy over the years.

Some men are dreadful offenders: yellow sweat stains under the armpits of your shirt, anyone? But when it comes to my own sex, women are also guilty of heinous fashion crimes.

Caring about what one wears is frequently seen as vain and superficial in the UK, unlike other European countries such as France or Italy where it is taken for granted that people take pains to look as good as they can. This is out of respect for one’s bosses, clients and colleagues, not self-regard.

There is – of course there is – a peculiarly British class element.

Posh people, particularly if they view themselves as intellectually superior, take a perverse pride in dressing badly, and believe caring about their appearance is beneath them.

Upper middle class Brits prefer to spend money on their homes, their pets and their kids – in that order – and think buying decent outfits is a waste of money, even a bit vulgar.

It’s clear to me when I visit Paris, Milan and even Frankfurt to see clients that professionals there think differently. They are always immaculate and obviously see expenditure on good clothes as an investment in themselves and their career. To me, it’s shameful that most of us Brits are out-dressed by the Germans, inventors of the dirndl and Lederhosen, but that’s how it is.

Smart suits, even in finance, are in danger of becoming extinct in many offices, even though they make most men look much better – and top-end tailoring is a great British export.

In my line of work, I see quite a few ex-Sandhurst types – and despite their own self-delusion these blokes are not usually blessed with an abundance of brainpower – whose office uniform is a pair of those horrible reddish colour Sloaney trousers, accompanied by a dodgy belt and a blazer.

To reference another great Harry Enfield character, it’s pure ‘Tim Nice But Dim’ – not the best look if you want to be taken seriously as a dealmaker.

In the past few years, I have had so many meetings with male execs who showed up tie-less or worse, wearing a woolly jumper. Fine if you are looking after the grandkids, but it doesn’t exactly scream titan of commerce, does it?

One woman in my team turned up once in what can only be described as an adult romper suit. Of course I said nothing – one can’t these days – though I think the look on my face was sufficient to ensure she never did so again.

In the past etiquette on dress was taken too far in the City and served to keep people out undeservedly for silly ‘breaches’ such as footwear of the wrong colour or a non-Savile Row suit.

It’s good those days are over. Yet sometimes I feel nostalgic for the times when senior bosses would openly bawl out men for faux pas such as wearing brown shoes to the bank.

In an ideal world where people were judged purely on their ability, none of this would matter. But the world is not ideal, and it does.

In the financial sphere, successful deals depend on trust and confidence. Anyone who is scruffy, tarty or otherwise ill-clad will struggle to command either.

In other words, anyone who does not convey instantly that they are a serious and competent professional is at a disadvantage – one it is totally within their power to avoid.

A refusal to care about appearance is not a sign of moral superiority, as some seem to think, but of arrogance.

It is based on the belief you are so wonderful, you don’t need to bother as lesser mortals do.

One former female member of staff at my firm a very attractive woman then in her thirties, would boast constantly about her looks and power over the opposite sex – all the while looking ill-kempt and student-y. She polished herself up and bagged a far better paying job at an international bank. Co-incidence? I think not.

It’s a shame that what passes for the British summer is over.

One consolation is that the colder weather reduces the risk of assaults on the retina such as spaghetti strap tops combined with colossal boobage, or hirsute knees peeking forth from ripped jeans or shorts. At least in the autumn and winter months, people cover up.

Female CEOs – there are only a few of them at the highest level – do scrub up smartly if for no other reason that they know they are under extra scrutiny. In the nineties, we all trussed ourselves up in female versions of menswear – boxy skirt or trouser suits and collared shirts. Thankfully, officewear has evolved into softer and more feminine styles. Speaking of being trussed up though, former PM Liz Truss did herself no favours in those awful tight ponte dresses she carried on wearing years after everyone else had sent theirs to the Oxfam shop.

Female office-wear need not be dull. Dame Emma Walmsley, the chief executive of pharmaceutical giant GSK, is the best-dressed boss in the FTSE-100. She was pictured recently looking superb in a red blouse, black skirt and sky-scraper sequin heels, though unless you are in her superwoman league you might want to keep the glitter for the evening.

In fact, best steer clear of anything that can be interpreted as a gimmick, like Theresa May’s leopard skin heels – and certainly no wacky socks on men. They don’t make you look fun or amusing, just a little bit sad.

Some readers will object that dressing well at work is expensive.

It needn’t be – there are some excellent smart options on the high street at a reasonable price, and some clever tricks. When I started my career in the City and didn’t earn much, I read somewhere that as a hard-up young actress Audrey Hepburn possessed only a couple of plain dresses but lots of scarves and accessories to make her outfits look different.

Obviously I had no hope of being as stylish as she was, but I took on board the tip.

I accept styles change, in the workplace as anywhere else. I’m resigned to the almost universal tattoos, beards and piercings and it’s not that I want men to revert to bowler hats and frock coats if they work in a bank.

But I do still have a soft spot for a chap in a suit. Wouldn’t it be a shame if the only time men ever wear one is if they are a defendant in court?