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EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Justin Welby is a descendant of a slave proprietor

Has Keir Starmer kicked the Downing Street cat in anger after Justin Welby‘s admission that he is the descendant of a slave owner? 

In advance of the Commonwealth conference in Samoa, Keir tried to pre-empt discussions by ruling out slavery reparations. 

He might feel the Archbishop of Canterbury’s confession, on top of the Church of England’s £100million fund to address the legacy of slavery, has put him on the spot with Caribbean leaders clamouring for compensation. 

‘We sinned against your ancestors,’ said Welby. ‘We are deeply sorry.’ So too is Starmer, Justin.

He might feel the Archbishop of Canterbury's confession, on top of the Church of England's £100million fund to address the legacy of slavery, has put him on the spot with Caribbean leaders clamouring for compensation

He might feel the Archbishop of Canterbury’s confession, on top of the Church of England’s £100million fund to address the legacy of slavery, has put him on the spot with Caribbean leaders clamouring for compensation

In advance of the Commonwealth conference in Samoa, Keir tried to pre-empt discussions by ruling out slavery reparations

In advance of the Commonwealth conference in Samoa, Keir tried to pre-empt discussions by ruling out slavery reparations

Harry and Meghan’s Portuguese bolthole provides an opportunity to bag EU passports. 

It is one of the easiest places in the EU for Americans to buy homes – with a relatively simple residence requirement to get citizenship. The only hurdle is a language test.

For Meghan, who abandoned plans to get British citizenship when she moved to the US with Harry, becoming Portuguese would be the ultimate raspberry to her estranged Royal Family.

Harry and Meghan's Portuguese bolthole provides an opportunity to bag EU passports

Harry and Meghan’s Portuguese bolthole provides an opportunity to bag EU passports

Those lobbying Rachel Reeves ahead of her first Budget should give up now. She had an audience with the King last Tuesday, revealing the details which pretty much set it in stone. 

Charles’s mother never looked forward to the Budget briefing. Gordon Brown kept her attention by focusing on defence spending, an area she took a keen interest in.

Did Rachel dare mention the Treasury team apparently looking at ways to reduce the royal wage packet?

Those lobbying Rachel Reeves ahead of her first Budget should give up now. She had an audience with the King last Tuesday, revealing the details which pretty much set it in stone

Those lobbying Rachel Reeves ahead of her first Budget should give up now. She had an audience with the King last Tuesday, revealing the details which pretty much set it in stone

These days estranged from fellow Pythons following a business feud, Eric Idle, cheekily says during his tour of New Zealand: ‘I’m going up Mount Cleese.’

Said landmark is a rubbish dump named after his former co-star John Cleese in the city of Palmerston North. 

Locals reacted unkindly to him describing it as the perfect place to ‘kill yourself’ during a visit 18 years ago. Idle adds: ‘Some suggest it’s a s*** heap.’

These days estranged from fellow Pythons following a business feud, Eric Idle (above), cheekily says during his tour of New Zealand : 'I'm going up Mount Cleese'

These days estranged from fellow Pythons following a business feud, Eric Idle (above), cheekily says during his tour of New Zealand : ‘I’m going up Mount Cleese’

Gavin and Stacey’s Alison Steadman believes revenge is best served loud after she encountered a teacher who threatened her as a teenager in his bubble car in a Liverpool park. 

‘I was on a train and saw him get off,’ she tells Saga magazine. ‘I followed him shouting his name. 

He turned round and I said, ‘You know who I am, don’t you? You got me in your car and threatened to rape and murder me. I’ll never forgive you’. 

He ran off terrified.’ The moral of the story? Don’t mess with Alison!

Gavin and Stacey's Alison Steadman believes revenge is best served loud after she encountered a teacher who threatened her as a teenager in his bubble car in a Liverpool park

Gavin and Stacey’s Alison Steadman believes revenge is best served loud after she encountered a teacher who threatened her as a teenager in his bubble car in a Liverpool park

After interviewing the late Omar Sharif, former BBC newsreader Jan Leeming was smitten. 

‘I would have gone to dinner with him, and if he’d asked me to go to bed I would have done,’ admits Jan, 82. Years later she met him on a film set, and recalls: ‘For those two minutes it was as if I was the only woman in the world. But he didn’t remember me.’ 

To misquote Oscar Wilde, wouldn’t it require a heart of stone not to laugh?

After interviewing the late Omar Sharif, former BBC newsreader Jan Leeming (above) was smitten

After interviewing the late Omar Sharif, former BBC newsreader Jan Leeming (above) was smitten