I’m on a mission to go to each Irish pub on the earth. I’ve been to 94 to this point. These are the very best, the worst and the weirdest (together with one which serves the ‘Frankenstein’… half Guinness and half Heineken)
‘I went to an Irish pub in Corsica and it was called Loch Ness Irish pub.’
Traveller Colm Dalton is telling MailOnline Travel about his mission to visit every Irish pub in the world – and is revealing one of the stranger venues he’s ticked off, after being asked if there is a minimum level of ‘Irishness’ needed for an Irish pub.
Are there some that have no right to call themselves an Irish pub?
‘There are definitely some that are borderline,’ he says. ‘Loch Ness, for instance – famously not in Ireland.’
So, what are the criteria for the perfect Irish pub?
Colm Dalton is on a mission to visit all the world’s Irish pubs. He’s pictured above outside Kelly’s Irish pub in Austin, Texas, which he describes as ‘authentic’ and the ‘real deal’
Colm recommends Patrick Foley’s in Ghent (pictured above) – ‘a beautiful pub by the canal with a huge mural of Celtic arts in the beer garden’
Colm considers the Loch Ness pub in Corsica (pictured above) as ‘borderline’ Irish. ‘Loch Ness – famously not in Ireland,’ he says
Colm, from County Kerry, explains: ‘The first way to judge is the name. If it’s named for an Irish family, like Quinn’s or Keane’s, you know it’s going to be good because it’s probably named after the person who founded it. At the other end of the scale, if it’s called Shamrock Pub or Guinness Pub, it’s not going to be good.’
The specialist adds that ‘live music is a really big sign as a good Irish pub will have good live music’. Pubgoers will also want to see some ‘aspects of Irish culture’ such as Irish sports on the TV in an authentic pub.
But the real key to knowing you’ve found a gem are the staff.
Colm says: ‘The bar staff in an Irish pub are usually amazing. They can take 20 orders at once and pull pints with their elbows. They’re really friendly but they’re also really good at the job. You can usually tell when the staff have been trained to pull a pint by an Irish owner. When the staff say, “What do you want to drink? We’ll drop it over to your table.” That’s the Rolls-Royce valet parking of an Irish pub. That’s classy. The welcome is important and that’s what you’d expect in an Irish pub.’
Colm generally orders a Guinness at every pub ‘in the spirit of experimentation’. LEFT: Colm in Bologna. RIGHT: Colm at O’Caine’s Irish pub in California
The keen traveller has so far ticked off 94 pubs across 45 countries – but where are the best watering holes?
He recommends Patrick Foley’s in Ghent, which is ‘a beautiful pub by the canal with a huge mural of Celtic arts in the beer garden’. Colm also loves Kelly’s in Austin, Texas. He says: ‘It’s in a strip mall but it looks like an Irish cottage. It’s authentic. It’s the real deal.’
Colm adds: ‘Atmosphere is important because it can be dead and that totally changes your perception. I was in one in Lisbon called O’GIllins on a Wednesday night and it was packed with a live band and everyone was singing. It was the perfect mix of Portuguese nightlife but in an Irish pub.’
In the UK, he loves London’s Auld Shillelagh in Stoke Newington, because it’s ‘a really nice balance of being quite hipster but quite Irish’. And Mc & Sons, which has a ‘couple of beautiful wooden pubs with classic Irish pub Thai food’ in Vauxhall and Borough.
And quality Irish pubs can be found in the most surprising of places.
Colm says: ‘In Jakarta, Indonesia, I was in a tuk-tuk for two hours and then it dropped me outside a shopping centre. There was a shoe shop and a hairdresser and then a tiny door and inside was a really good Irish pub.’
Colm’s record is nine pubs in one day on a holiday to Rome. LEFT: Outside The Fiddler’s Elbow pub in Rome. RIGHT: Outside Molly Malone’s in California. Colm says that’s the most common name for an Irish pub
Colm pictured outside Duffy’s Irish Bar in Krakow
‘Minas Tirith’, a Lord of the Rings-themed Irish pub down a ‘crumbly back street in Palermo’ also makes the list of pleasantly surprising venues.
Any Irish pubs travellers should leave off their to-do list?
Perhaps surprisingly, not Corsica’s Loch Ness, which was actually a ‘nice pub, just confused’. However, he explains travellers will want to steer clear of Belgrade’s Gecko Irish pub. Colm says: ‘It has a lizard on the branding and it’s like, “Have you ever been to Ireland? There are no lizards.” It was also pirate-themed, so they’d sort of confused being Irish with being a pirate. There was rigging on the walls.’
But the only Irish pub Colm has ever ‘walked out of’ is the Guinness Pub in Sarajevo. He explains: ‘There was nobody in there, there were no staff and we just sat in a room for 20 minutes thinking, “What’s going on?” And a staff member was just outside having a cigarette. They couldn’t be bothered.’
Colm generally orders a Guinness on his visits ‘in the spirit of experimentation’, but recalls a time when he had to give one unique variation on the black stuff a miss. He says: ‘In Bilbao, the locals drank a drink called a Frankenstein, which is half a Guinness and half a Heineken. And it’s kind of dark at the top and yellowy-green at the bottom. I couldn’t bring myself to drink that.’
What does Colm think makes Irish pubs so popular around the world?
He explains: ‘In a lot of countries, you’ve got cafes and clubs but no third space. And I think an Irish pub kind of fulfils that. In some cities, the Irish pub is the alternative pub where you go if you want to feel like a frustrated poet. Then there’s definitely a process of imitation where someone sees a nice pub and thinks they should recreate it.’
The most commonly used name for an Irish pub? Molly Malone’s, says Colm, which is ‘particularly popular’ in southeast Asia. However, James Joyce is another top choice perhaps due to the Irish author’s ‘really cool side profile’, suggests Colm.
The Irish Pubs Global Federation estimates there are more than 6,500 Irish pubs in the world, but Colm is ‘optimistic’ about his goal to visit each and every one.
Colm brings his partner along on his missions. LEFT: They’re pictured at The Tipperary Irish Pub in London. RIGHT: Colm at The Drunken Poet in Singapore
His record is nine pubs in one day during a holiday to Rome where he went from ‘museum to pub to museum to pub’. The pub aficionado generally brings his partner along on his mission, saying she’s ‘become something of a connoisseur herself’ and has ‘developed a taste for Guinness’.
So which pubs are next on the expert’s wishlist?
Colm says: ‘There’s one in Namche Bazaar in the foothills of the Himalayas which looks really good and I think it’s the highest Irish pub.
‘There’s another in Kampala, Uganda, that’s called Bubbles O’Leary and it was moved brick by brick from Ireland to Uganda.
‘And then recently, I don’t know how feasible this is, I found on Google that there is an Irish pub in Guantanamo Bay. I don’t know the logistics of getting there, but it would definitely be interesting to see if it could be done.’
To follow Colm’s journey, visit his Instagram at @publicanenemy or website – publicanenemy.com.
