I’m in my 40s and fell in love with a teenage convict in a high-security US jail after writing to him from Essex… we’re now planning our wedding ceremony

A British woman in her 40s fell in love with a teenage American inmate in a maximum security prison after writing to him from Essex – and now they’re planning their wedding.

Lucy Patterson, 42, first came across Sean Hetzer on a website that allows you to write to prisoners while she was studying a degree in forensic psychology.

Sean , now 26, was 18 years old when Lucy first reached out and he was just three years into a ten-year sentence after pleading guilty to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon at Bexar County District Courts, San Antonio, Texas, back in February 2014.

Lucy sent him a letter explaining he had her support, and after the convict wrote back, the pair began calling for five minutes every 90 days.

The HR worker was not expecting to develop any romantic connection with the man over 5,000 miles away, but says she’s now head-over-heels after their friendship blossomed into romance when Sean wrote ‘I love you’ in Spanish in one of his letters.

 Lucy said: ‘Our relationship happened naturally, the tone of our letters changed.

‘Sean wrote a letter and said ‘go translate this’ and it said love you in Spanish – from there we were official’.

Lucy said she sees a future with the ex-prisoner and spoke of hopes about getting married one day.

Sean also said that he was ‘really happy’ after Lucy reached out to him, but the loved up couple faced their own set off challenges while attempting to communicate overseas.

Lucy revealed the first phone call was awkward, and given that Sean was behind bars in a maximum security prison – there were eyes and ears everywhere.

Following their first call, the pair made their relationship official in May 2018.

After a year of dating, the pair met in person for the first time in February 2019 – on Sean’s 21st birthday – in the visitor room at the jail and spent four hours talking ‘non-stop’.

Lucy said that the 16 year age gap was a worry for the couple initially because Sean wanted children and Lucy wasn’t sure if she would be able to have them.

This led the couple to break up for two months in 2020.

Lucy said: ‘It has been a worry for us the whole time.

‘On my part, I didn’t want to hold him back from anything in life – especially with him being a young man in his 20s.

‘His concern was children as I am older, it has been a worry for us throughout the whole relationship.

‘We broke up for a little while because he was sure he wanted children and I wasn’t sure if I could give him kids.’

At first, Lucy told only her friends and a few family members about Sean – her mum only found out she was in a relationship with him when he was out of prison and in the UK visiting. 

Her closest family didn’t know until Sean was already out of prison and in the UK visiting.

Lucy said: ‘They knew of his existence and how I was writing to him but I didn’t tell anyone it was a relationship for at least five years.

‘When I did tell people, it was only a couple of my closest friends.

‘Last year I told some of my family but it wasn’t until Sean was in the UK that I told my mum – she has taken him in like one of her own.

‘I convinced myself that everyone was going to judge me and everyone was going to be stuck up.

‘I know my family are lovely non-judgmental people but when it comes to a situation like this they might go to a default response.’

On August 22, 2024, Sean was released from prison after completing his sentence and Lucy flew out to meet him.

Lucy said: ‘I flew over to get him, it was a bit awkward at first.

‘We didn’t know if we were going to full-blown snog or peck – it was a bit of a chameleon kiss.

‘It felt very natural to be with him – this is my best friend.’

Sean added: ‘It is the best feeling ever – I was so relieved to be out.

‘It was an exciting day – Lucy is caring and loyal, she was there when I needed someone when nobody else was there for me.’

Lucy and Sean are planning to split their time between the UK and US on holiday visas.

The pair say they would love to tie the knot but they are in ‘no rush’.

Lucy said: ‘I can’t work in the US and he can’t work here.

‘We will always go back and forth, there is no plan to stay in any country.

‘We don’t have children, I own my property – we have no ties to keep us in one place.’