My boyfriend’s mom gatecrashed our vacation – now she desires ME to apologise for not spending sufficient time along with her

A woman revealed her partner’s mother asked to join them on holiday and got upset they didn’t spend enough time with her. 

Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, the woman revealed her boyfriend’s mother just wanted to ‘lie around sunbathing and reading books’ on the trip, while they were more interested in doing activities. 

She explained that they invited her to join them as they went to the beach and waterparks, but she refused.   

After they returned home, she received a text from her partner’s mother saying she felt ‘very lonely and sad on the holiday’ and she is expecting an apology. 

Many rushed to the comments to leave their own thoughts, with some questioning why the mother wasn’t complaining to her own son.  

The post read: ‘Boyfriends mum is upset that DP [dear partner] and I didn’t spend enough time with her on holiday. I have been with my partner for just over a year now, we are in our late 20s. 

‘She [partner’s mother] works for a travel agents so gets quite a big discount on some holidays. She said she wanted to go on holiday with us. I had my doubts because I didn’t know if it would be awkward, we aren’t particularly close. But DP thought it would be fun.

‘We went on holiday and she’s a big sunbather, she just wanted to lie around sunbathing and reading books, which is totally fine! No issue with it. But we like to go exploring and go to the beach and water parks etc.’ 

The couple asked whether she wanted to join in with the activities, but were told no each time they asked. On some days they stayed with her because they didn’t want her to feel like she was on a solo holiday. 

The woman added: ‘But we get bored and antsy just sat around all day so would go and do something. Even if it was just for a little walk to explore a bit, she didn’t want to come.

‘Now that we are back she has expressed to me that she felt very lonely and sad on the holiday and also made her realise that she is lonely in general because seeing myself and DP together and holding hands and laughing together etc made her upset. 

‘I think she felt a bit like a third wheel which we didn’t mean to do. We don’t do PDA, have never kissed or cuddled or acted inappropriate in public. But I think it just reaffirmed to her that she is alone, seeing us two enjoy a holiday together.

‘She seems to be expecting some kind of apology, she is acting angry with me (not sure why it’s just me) and saying she felt left out. She has expressed all of this to me via text and I haven’t responded yet. 

‘Am I the unreasonable one here? I just feel like, she went on holiday with a couple, didn’t want to do anything with us other than lie by the pool and is now upset about it. But I don’t know how that’s my fault? I also paid for the holiday with my money and didn’t want to just hang around the hotel all day.’

Many suggested that the woman should leave her partner to deal with it and she should ignore the text messages. 

One person said: ‘Have you shown your dp? Let him address it. She’s his mother. Maybe just reply, sorry you feel that way and leave it at that.’

Another said: ‘Just leave it to your boyfriend to deal with. Forward him the texts. And remember if it comes up again that the discounts aren’t worth it!’

Someone else added: ‘Let him deal with it, don’t respond at all. What did she expect going on holiday with a couple? As long as you didn’t actively exclude her (which it sounds like you didn’t) then she’s got no cause for complaint.’

A fourth said: ‘Do not reply. Let your bf deal with her. And don’t go on holidays with her again.

‘It’s time she found her own friends to go away with. Avoid avoid avoid or she will become your problem.’

Others felt bad for the woman and suggested maybe she was just trying to ‘open up’ to her son’s partner. 

One person said: ‘Are you sure she’s blaming you? Is she just expressing herself.

‘Maybe respond something like. Oh I’m sorry that you felt lonely and that this has made you realise you’d like more connection in your life. 

‘Is there anyway I can help you get out and meet new people? How about XYX? Clearly you are not responsible for her loneliness but it’d be kind to help her a bit.’

Another said: ‘Are you sure she is ‘blaming’ you or looking for an apology? It makes perfect sense that she felt a bit lonely and like a third wheel and it’s good that she’s realised it’s a wider issue. She should be able to share this without you taking it personally (assuming she is just sharing). I would empathise, but not apologise.’

To which to woman replied: ‘She could be, but it’s very out of character. We don’t have that kind of relationship, we got off to a bad start and have never really recovered much. 

‘We just kind of accept each other for the sake of DP. Her wording in the text seem to indicate that she blames us for excluding her and the holiday wasn’t what she expected or had in mind. If she’s just expressing herself then fine, but what’s the point… I don’t really know what to say to it.’

‘Thanks for all of the replies. I am going to take the advice of what most people have said and wait until DP gets home and then reply or ring her.’