‘Trump Defence nominee news anchor Hegseth has his mum defend him on TV’
WHEN your best defence is, “My son is not that guy any more,” you know things are bad. Penelope Hegseth’s attempt this week to salvage her son Pete’s nomination for Defence Secretary felt less like damage control and more like a mum defending her kid after the headteacher called.
Ever since President-elect Donald Trump nominated the ex-news anchor, 44, to lead the world’s biggest military, things have not been going well.
He has faced allegations of affairs and heavy drinking, and an infamous 2018 email where Penelope chewed him out for wrecking his second marriage. His mum’s defence? “He’s changed.”
Putin must be quaking in his Cossack boots.
In a high-speed attempt at amphibious driving, a man allegedly under the influence of alcohol launched his sports car into Richardson Bay, said California Highway Patrol.
Police shared a Facebook reel aptly titled Flying Ferrari, showing the car floating in the bay as R Kelly’s I Believe I Can Fly played in the background. The driver apparently “failed to properly negotiate a curve on Seminary Drive”, which is a polite way of saying he drove straight into the drink.
Ever wanted to smell like your favourite dingy bar without the sticky floors or questionable decisions? Well, now you can as brewer Miller High Life has launched a new cologne – Dive Bar-Fume.
The boozy fragrance is claimed to capture the “satisfying crack of a freshly opened beer” and the “comforting savoury taste of classic bar snacks”.
Still, if you’ve ever wanted to smell like a night out without the hangover, this might be for you.
Death Valley National Park lived up to its name once again – this time by roasting a truckload of chickpeas. A lorry illegally hauling 44,000lb of the vegetarian’s favourite went up in flames after its brakes overheated while descending Daylight Pass.
The National Park Service confirmed the incident and reminded drivers that Death Valley’s roads aren’t designed for hefty loads of legumes. While no one was injured, the chickpeas were decidedly overcooked.
Somewhere out there, a hummus lover is weeping.
A Georgia police officer, once crowned “Deputy of the Year”, traded his badge for a bad decision when he was arrested for DUI after trying to drunkenly direct traffic outside a school – with no cars in sight.
According to police, Houston County Sheriff’s Deputy Garrison Page was found waving his arms like a traffic maestro at Skyview Elementary in Lizella.
When asked what he was doing, he reportedly shot back, “None of your business,” a bold response for a guy directing invisible cars.
Even worse, Page had only been in his new job for eight days. Talk about a short run – and a wrong turn – on the road to law enforcement greatness.
