The sneaky method ‘It’ ladies and Pilates mums are getting Ozempic WITHOUT seeing a health care provider. But what occurred to my sizzling good friend ought to function a warning…

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve had a couple of run-ins with Ozempic over the past few months. 

My first encounter happened in the lead-up to my 40th birthday party. 

Overexcited about the big, boozy bash I was hosting, I decided on a theme: Saucy Secrets. (I know, so on brand). I envisioned everyone rocking their sexiest, skimpiest outfits, leaning into the chaos of the night.

What I hadn’t considered was that I, too, would have to wear something sexy and skimpy. Cue panic. 

After a glorious winter of carb-heavy stews, calorie-loaded red wines, and the occasional late-night chocolate binge, my body wasn’t quite PVC-dress ready. Crap.

Desperate to shred some weight fast, I turned to a friend who had ‘stumbled upon’ some Ozempic. Fuelled by Dutch courage after a few wines, we decided to inject each other with it.

But there was an issue: the dose we had wasn’t tailored for us. It was prescribed to someone much heavier, and at 1mg, it was way too high. Giggling in a toilet cubicle like schoolgirls sneaking a cigarette, we madly googled for solutions. 

Turns out, you can’t lower the dose. It’s not like splitting a pill. So, mercifully, common sense prevailed and, instead of injecting ourselves, we chucked out the black market Ozempic and hit the gym like maniacs in the weeks leading up to my party.

That’s right, ladies. Sometimes it’s better to just do it the old-fashioned way. 

The second time I encountered the weight loss jab everyone is buzzing about was at a fancy alcohol launch party. 

As I mingled with socialites, ‘It’ girls and the poshest of posh school mums, I noticed a curious trend – everyone looked noticeably slimmer. It didn’t take long to uncover the reason. The hot topic of the night was Ozempic.

Questions like ‘Where did you get yours?’ and ‘Can you introduce me to your doctor?’ filled the room. Yawn.

If I’m being honest, it makes for a ‘snore’ of a night. I want the real goss, like who’s shagging who. But the topic didn’t really budge.

One guest spilled the beans: apparently, they all used online telehealth systems. The trick? Turning their cameras off during Zoom consultations and claiming to be at least 50kg heavier than they actually were. Prescriptions were being handed out for $400 a pop, no questions asked. I was shocked.

A friend of mine even managed to score a link to a particularly lenient telehealth doctor. And that brings me to my third Ozempic encounter: a front-row seat to her rollercoaster of side effects.

From day one, the texts came in fast and frantic. She’d taken a dose far too high, resulting in three days of vomiting, sweating and total exhaustion. ‘I feel like I’m dying,’ one read. I feared it would be her last message and that I’d be hearing about her death on the six o’clock news.

Luckily, it wasn’t fatal. And by the time her body adjusted, she had, indeed, lost weight, but at what cost? When I asked her if it was worth it, her emphatic ‘No!’ said it all. Well, that was $400 wasted.

So, it got me thinking, who else has had nasty run in with this medication that they are clearly not supposed to be taking? I threw the question out to my Instagram followers, and it’s safe to say the messages came in thick and fast.

Here are just some of the experiences people had on Ozempic: 

Emily*, in her mid-30s, was all set to turn heads at her ex’s engagement party. Desperate to fit into a slinky red dress she bought online (a size smaller than her usual), she begged a friend for an Ozempic hook-up. 

The catch? Emily wasn’t overweight, but she told a telehealth doctor she was tipping the scales at 120kg (where have I heard that one before?) Cue an expensive prescription, a painful prick… and a dangerously large doze of semaglutide.

At first, she thought it was genius: her appetite was non-existent. But then, the nausea kicked in. 

A week later, she was with a friend-with-benefits when she felt a stabbing pain in her stomach that sent her straight to the emergency room. (Oh, God, even I experienced the second hand embarrassment from this story). 

Turns out, the high dose triggered acute pancreatitis. When the doctor asked why she was taking Ozempic, she was mortified to admit, ‘I just wanted to look hot in a dress.’ Lesson learned the hard way.

Then there was Sarah*, a 42-year-old school teacher who decided to give Ozempic a whirl after hearing her Pilates group rave about its ‘miracle’ weight-loss powers. 

She wasn’t overweight by any medical standard but she told me she thought, ‘Hey, why not shed a few kilos before my beach holiday?’ A friend from her Pilates class hooked her up with some and boom! It was on.

Day one? She felt invincible. By week two, though, she was so constipated it hurt to move. Things got worse when she developed a bowel obstruction so severe it landed her in surgery.

Let’s just say, her dream of poolside selfies in a bikini was replaced by a hospital gown and a grimace.

And finally there was Mark*, a 50-year-old tech guy fresh out of a nasty divorce. 

He admitted he didn’t need Ozempic but knew he was competing against some fit-looking guys on the dating apps, and his dad bod just wasn’t cutting it. 

His BMI was normal, and his diabetes was under control, but after a friend told him about the ‘shredding magic’ of Ozempic, he decided to get in on the action.

Turns out there is a particular gym in Sydney that sells it from their back room. Naughty!

At first, the kilos melted off, and he was loving life. But then, he started feeling full after just two bites of chicken breast. 

Weeks later, he couldn’t ignore the fatigue, thinning hair and constant bloating. 

Turns out, the drug had triggered gastroparesis, leaving him malnourished and looking more ghostly than gains-worthy. Lessons were learned.

Other followers chimed in with their horror stories. One guy said it made it ‘harder to concentrate at work’, while another woman confessed to vomiting blood more than once. 

A husband revealed his wife could no longer hold her drink on Ozempic, saying, ‘It was like dating a teenager again. She was a messy drunk after just a few drinks. It became a nightmare.’

Here’s the harsh truth: if you’re not prescribed Ozempic for actual medical reasons, you’re playing a dangerous game. 

Sure, the promise of shedding kilos is tempting, but so is eating an entire cheesecake, and we all know how that ends.

Save yourself the drama, and the dry heaving, and stick to something safer, like Pilates or Spanx. Your health will thank you for it.

*Names have been changed. 

A disclaimer: Ozempic is only approved for the treatment of diabetes in Australia. While some doctors may prescribe it for weight loss after a thorough assessment of their patient’s needs, Daily Mail Australia is not endorsing its use for this purpose. You should always seek advice from a medical professional. Lying to a doctor to obtain a prescription is illegal and could lead to overdose or death.