Why thin-skinned Australians are lacking the purpose on Sam Konstas – and the way he may be the perfect factor to occur to the Ashes for 20 years, writes LAWRENCE BOOTH

Journalistic generalisations, like nostalgia, are not what they used to be. Once, the rule was that two similar things had to happen in quick succession before the fourth estate could declare a ‘trend’. Now, just the one thing in quick succession is enough, and who cares if that one thing has barely happened in the first place.

Which is why all it took for Fox Sports to declare ‘Poms in Bizarre Meltdown over Konstas’ was a lone remark by Barney Ronay in The Guardian, in which he called Sam Konstas ‘a cricketing version of Australian Olympic breakdancer Rachael Gunn, also known as Raygun’.

Clearly, this touched the nerve that lies close to the surface of Australian cultural and sporting life: the one where they worry that, already miles from the action, they must constantly assert their credentials. Under no circumstances must anyone not take them seriously, and in fairness it is an impulse which has helped make them the greatest of all cricket nations. Secretly, England envy them.

In that respect, Raygun’s nul points performance at the Paris Olympics, where she strove to ‘move differently, be artistic and creative’, hardly helped. After all, she should have been there to boost Australia’s medal haul, not express herself with moves such as the kangaroo hop, like some twinkle-toed, tracksuited Eddie the Eagle. Ironic hopelessness? How very British…

But the kerfuffle that followed Ronay’s aside – you’d hesitate to call it a jibe – felt more significant, marking as it did the first blows in the Ashes phoney war, with just the 10 months to go before Perth. And so, one by one, Australia’s players lined up to tell of their outrage at a single line in a lone English column.

Marnus Labuschagne was so angry he could barely speak: ‘I mean… Jeez… That’s the England media.’ Pat Cummins was magisterial in his disdain: ‘I don’t even know where to take that. I’m pretty happy with Sammy, so I don’t really care what the UK think.’ Nathan Lyon, so often a voice of calm and moderation, simply despaired: ‘What am I meant to say about the English journos? I’m not really sure to be honest with you.’

Unwittingly, perhaps, the most revealing remark came from the former Australian opener David Warner, whose own career left him well versed in the whys and wherefores of confected outrage. ‘Thankfully, news doesn’t travel from that side of the world to Australia, unless you read the Daily Mail,’ he said, possibly putting his finger on our struggle to get an interview with him down the years.

And what of Konstas himself? Was the young man who had the audacity to thrillingly reverse ramp Jasprit Bumrah on Test debut in front of nearly 75,000 fans at MCG on Boxing Day going to be unnerved by a comparison with Raygun made on the other side of the world? Reader, he was not.

I’ll take that,’ he said, as if he had just ramped Bumrah for another six. ‘Obviously they’ve got their opinions, but I’m just trying to be me and be authentic and the best version of myself.’

In any case, it turned out he had more pressing matters to deal with, including one of the first examples of the so-called ‘Konstas Effect’, in which a fan desperate for his autograph forgot to apply the handbrake in a carpark. Realising his error, he hurried back to his car, slipped, and watched it crash into another.

The clip went as viral as his new hero’s MCG frolics, and Konstas himself promised to ‘sign some stuff’ for the stricken motorist. Everyone was a winner. And if anything meaningful has emerged from this episode, it is the sense that Konstas really is unfazed by all the nonsense.

This is just as well, because there’s going to be a lot of it between now and the first ball in Perth on November 21, as both sets of fans and media trade barbs in the traditional manner.

Because let’s be honest: whether you’re English or Australian, Konstas may well be the best thing that’s happened to the Ashes since Glenn McGrath trod on the ball before the Edgbaston Test in 2005, in an instant giving England their best chance of changing what had become a tediously one-sided rivalry.

For one thing, Konstas will be fun to watch – a lot more fun than his top-order colleagues. His mini-dismantling of Bumrah suggested a mind unusually uncluttered for a teenager; his willingness to stand up for himself after Virat Kohli shoulder-barged him at the MCG told of a boy adapting quickly to an adult’s game. Whatever Brydon Carse says to him this winter, you suspect Konstas will be fine.

More importantly, he has thrown a spanner in the Bazball narrative, threatening to appropriate an English phenomenon, while challenging his own compatriots to look differently at an opener willing to reverse-scoop the new ball.

This could lead to some angst. On the morning of his 65-ball 60 in Melbourne, one Australian broadcaster tweeted: ‘Sam Konstas has played 1 session of Test cricket and his version of “Bazzball” (sic) is already more convincing than the 4 years of contrived rubbish England have served up.’

We can expect more tortuous logic in the months ahead, and God help us when the cricket actually begins. But think of the scenarios.

Will Ben Stokes overcome the modern aversion to a placing a fielder at third man at the start of an innings? Will England’s bowlers adjust their lengths, in the process casting aside their usual wisdom about not fretting about the opposition? Will Australia tolerate more than a few Konstas failures? (And, at the risk of going into Bizarre Meltdown mode, dare we point out that he averages 28 after four Test innings?)

Ironically, then, Raygungate may take us full circle – and return us to a discussion about, y’know, cricketing tactics and strategy. Whichever team you conceive your social-media insults for, that has to be a cause for celebration.

England should look closer to home

England’s hopeless unravelling in the women’s Ashes has had predictable consequences.

Last autumn, Test Match Special’s Alex Hartley – a former World Cup winner – dared to suggest the team weren’t fit enough. Few disagreed. Now, as the gap between England and Australia becomes painfully obvious, despite huge investment by the ECB in the women’s game, she says some of the players are refusing to be interviewed by her in her work for the BBC.

‘I’ve been hung out to dry by the England team,’ she said after the 57-run thrashing in the first T20 in Sydney. ‘None of them will talk to me. The reason I said they’re not as fit as Australia is because I want them to beat Australia, to win Ashes and World Cups.’

Australia responded to their World Cup disappointment by analysing what went wrong. England are still making the same mistakes, still look amateurish in the field. But, sure: let’s blame Alex Hartley.

Hard luck strikes again for Nair  

Spare a thought for Karun Nair, who was once dropped three Tests after scoring an unbeaten triple-century against England at Chennai.

Playing for Vidharba in India’s domestic 50-over Vijay Hazare Trophy, Nair helped his side to the final with consecutive scores of 112*, 44*, 163*, 111*, 112, 122* and 88* – that’s 752 runs at an average of, er, 752.

In the final, though, with his team chasing Karnataka’s 348 for six, Nair fell for 27, all but condemning Vidharba to defeat (by 36 runs) and reducing his average for the tournament to a mere 389. A runners-up medal can never have been more hard-earned.

Coldplay butter up Indian fans

You wouldn’t have thought a world-famous band would need to butter up a crowd who had already paid good money.

But Coldplay’s Chris Martin, a cricket lover, tickled his Mumbai fans with a giant video of Jasprit Bumrah’s iconic yorker to dismiss Ollie Pope at Visakhapatnam in February. Shameless, but effective.