WARDY’S WAGERS

BRITAIN’S FUNNIEST TIPSTER’S BETS OF THE WEEK

PRIZE idiot Russell Brand made a tit of himself again this week when he reposted a spoof conspiracy theory that Penelope Keith shot JFK.

What next? Felicity Kendall staged the moon landings?

Richard Briers is harbouring Lord Lucan and Shergar?

Russell Brand became an international star despite being an absolute bellend?

Oh no wait, that was true.

Russell must have strong legs to go along with his brass neck.

Because he quickly jumps to conclusions.

He deleted the post but bizarrely enough, the Good Life star taking out the US President is remarkably nowhere near the maddest thing the gobshite god botherer believes.

But it was a timely reminder that how quickly mad conspiracy theories and fake news can spread online.

Why do so many people believe in such nonsense?

Maybe 5G has fried their brains?

But there are plenty of believers around.

Conspiracy theorists are like, “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…”

It’s a government surveillance drone.

My mate reckons the state that can listen to us through our bedside clocks.

But I think he is an alarmist.

He believes in one floating around about two tier bed frames, but it’s since been debunked.

As be he hates candles and he thinks they were created as part of a government conspiracy.

He’s an anti-waxer.

Most conspiracy theories take it for granted that the Government is clever enough to cover things up.

When looking at the clowns in charge that is clearly not the case.

You don’t need a tin foil hat to believe that England could now win a tournament under Thomas Tuchel.

ENGLAND to win 2026 World Cup – (betfred) – 7/1

I’VE always been lucky when it comes to food. I can eat what I like and not mind being 41 stone. Tuck into a flutter on SLOVENIA to beat Slovakia – (betway) – 6/4

MY wife told me that she hates revolving doors and is afraid that she’ll get stuck in them. I said, “You’ll come round eventually.” Come round to a gamble on SIOG GEAL in the 3.15pm at Newbury – (betfair) – 9/2

I WENT to the doctors yesterday with a suspicious looking mole. He said they all look like that and I should have left him in my garden. Leave the bookies reeling with a punt on CHARLTON to beat Peterborough – (betway) – 13/10

WHOEVER came up with the word “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”. Sink your teeth into a bet on AFC WIMBLEDON to beat Barrow – (Ladbrokes) – 21/20