Psycho seagulls set to make life hell for Brits as nesting season has begun

Another year, another psycho seagull season Brits now have to face as now is the time when these pests are at their scumbag peak – just as its warm enough for us to enjoy the seaside

Take cover, psycho seagull season is about to commence, experts have warned.

Beaked nutters which make Trainspotting’s Begbie look mild are about to make life hell because nesting has started.

The brutes are known for their “exceptional dedication as parents in the bird world”, meaning the flying scumbags are even more vicious than normal as they protect their young.

The determined blighters will swoop and attack and have no qualms about ripping out spikes aimed at stopping them nesting, says Rentokil’s Colm Moore.

The pest controller said: “If I tried to get you out of your house, you’d resist quite vehemently.

“In the same way, if you’re trying to amend the birds’ nesting area, they will resist.

“And they come back to you annually, by the way.

“Bird spikes make it very inhospitable for them to nest – but if they’re nesting in that region, they’ll just rip them out and sometimes they’ll nest in behind them.”

The brainbox bandits can recognise human faces and have remarkable memories, meaning they make note of those they see as threats.

Petrified posties could not deliver letters in Cornwall during nesting season last year because the birds were so violent when they approached.

Locals in Liskeard had to nominate alternative addresses for post because delivery workers refused to risk an encounter with the seaside villains.

One resident described going outside as “deadly”.

Gulls’ nests are protected when they are being built or are in use, according to the RSPCA.

It’s website warns: “It’s an offence to restrict access to a nest that is being used unless you’re acting under licence.”

But Brits can take measures to protect themselves from aggressive assassins.

The Wildlife Ambulance charity says: “Use an umbrella or safety helmet for protection.

“Avoid using sticks, rakes, brooms, or long-handled objects to scare the gulls, as it may escalate aggression.”