The hidden meanings behind seemingly random moments in Adolescence… and their chilling warnings about boys right now, by baby psychologist DR SHEILA REDFERN

There is a tense moment in episode three of Netflix series Adolescence when psychiatrist Briony Ariston tells 13-year-old Jamie Miller, awaiting trial for killing his classmate Katie, that she has saved him half of her cheese and pickle sandwich.

Canny viewers interpreted it as a deliberate gesture to test Jamie’s reaction, especially as he doesn’t like pickle – and they are right.

I have worked with children and young people as a consultant clinical psychologist for more than 30 years and things in a psychological setting are rarely unintentional.

I’ve seen hundreds of young men subsumed by excessive internet use, pornography and toxic masculinity, and recognised many aspects of them in the character of Jamie, who has been online before stabbing a girl he feels slighted by.

While, thankfully, I’ve never dealt with a child who has killed a fellow student, I have worked with a lot of young men whose violence and misogyny is extremely concerning. 

In every session, I’ve used specific techniques to assess my patient’s character and gain an insight into what motivates them – all of which are very effective.

So what do each of the seemingly random objects and actions in Adolescence mean – and how can they be used to try to unpick Jamie’s heinous crime?

THE CHEESE AND PICKLE SANDWICH

Offering Jamie, played by breakout star Owen Cooper, 15, food is a technique used by Briony to humanise her and encourage him to relax in her company. 

She’s also sharing it with him, almost suggesting to him that she’s on his side, willing to take his perspective and further putting him at ease.

It is fascinating that Briony, played by The Crown’s Erin Doherty, brought a filling – pickle – that he wouldn’t like. It suggests she is testing his reaction.

Jamie is surprisingly relaxed about the sandwich, but does react very aggressively later on to Briony’s questions, showing the duality of his personality.

Very few children who have psychological trauma shout and rage all the time – it’s far more common for them to act perfectly ‘normally’ until provoked by certain triggers. I’m not persuaded that bringing food Jamie won’t like is terribly clever.

No psychologist I know would do something so deliberately provocative when interviewing a child.

It’s never helpful to intentionally do something that might provoke a big reaction. You don’t want anything to jeopardise any relationship you have built

THE HOT CHOCOLATE

When Briony meets Jamie at the youth detention centre, she offers him a hot chocolate. It is common for psychologists to offer children a snack or a drink to make them feel more relaxed and more likely to open up to you.

I always have fruit and drinks, and sometimes biscuits, on hand to offer to the children I work with. It makes them see me as a human, can remind them of home and helps form a relationship with them much more quickly.

Jamie warms to Briony when she treats him as a child, meeting him at his level, which shows that he does have a very innocent side.

I would never think of a child as ‘evil’, as such killers are often portrayed. He’s still a little boy who takes comfort from the chocolate and marshmallows.

But I’d never dream of taking a hot drink into a scenario like this where you are dealing with a teenager you know is capable of aggressive behaviour; it could end up being thrown at you – and, as we see, his furious outburst does see the drink go flying.

BRIONY’S OUTFIT

Psychologists do put a lot of thought into what they wear before a session, especially when interviewing children, so Briony’s choice of clothes – a plain blue shirt and trousers – is important.

There is a lot to consider when dressing for such an interview. You need to strike the right balance. For instance, I make sure I’m not wearing all black as it could be intimidating to a child – I’d opt for slightly lighter colours.

Briony has also taken into consideration that she is dealing with a teenager who has issues with sexuality and misogyny.

Any psychologist in this position wouldn’t want to risk dressing in a way that could be considered sexually provocative; she can’t risk being seen as sexually attractive. She wants to appear professional and show him respect.

POSITIONING OF THE CHAIR

As the interview goes on, we see Briony moving her chair closer to Jamie’s. There is a very deliberate reason for this – where a psychologist sits in the room is incredibly important and it’s probably a technique most parents have used themselves to encourage their children to speak to them – often without even realising it.

Briony starts off by sitting across the table from Jamie, which gives the feel of a formal police interview rather than a session with a psychologist. However, after each of his two outbursts she moves her chair closer to him.

It’s only when she’s sitting right next to him that he really opens up to her, revealing his incel (involuntary celibate) ideology – a cyber subculture in which men blame women when they can’t find a romantic partner, legitimising violence against them.

It’s only at this point that he takes a bite of the sandwich.

She’s close to him but not looking directly at him. By not forcing him to make eye contact with her, he opens up. He is clearly craving that closeness. As most parents know, it’s often much easier to talk to a child when you’re not sitting face to face.

It’s usually when you’re driving in the car, or both focused on something else, that you find yourself having the most deep and meaningful chats. It makes sense that Briony wanted to maintain that professional distance at the start, to make sure he understood she was in charge.

I use this technique all the time. I remember speaking to one teenage boy who was adamant he had a close circle of friends. It was only when I then asked him to show me a game he enjoyed playing on the computer, and sat next to him, that he revealed he didn’t really have any friends to play with. Like Jamie, that small shift allowed an anxious young person to feel less scrutinised.

BRIONY VIEWING CCTV FOOTAGE

After Jamie’s first outburst, we see Briony leave the room and watch what he is doing on the CCTV cameras next door. It’s unusual practice for a psychologist to walk out of a room and leave a child, but there are a number of things she could be looking for. 

I think she is observing how Jamie reacts when she leaves. He has just had a violent and dramatic outburst – how he behaves next is significant.

If he appears to be getting anxious and angry after she’s left, that could indicate abandonment issues or give some insight into his levels of anxiety. 

If he is completely oblivious to the fact she has left, that might show he is disengaged with relationships. 

When she returns, he is apologetic – he has clearly already formed an attachment to her and wants her in the room. He’s very childlike – he wants her to be there with him. His reaction shows she clearly matters to him and he wants to matter to Briony.

The expectation that she will listen to him and be there for him shows he likely has good, secure attachments to other adults in his life. He’s loved by his parents and can rely on adults to help him.

If I were in her position, I’d use the opportunity to directly address Jamie’s behaviour. I would tell him that he scared me when he shouted in my face and ask if he meant to. I suspect his reaction to being confronted would be very telling.

Does he grasp the concept of death?

This is a very common question asked by psychologists to children – and the answer they give reveals a lot about them. 

I’ve dealt with children the same age as Jamie who don’t have the mental capacity to process the concept of death. They sometimes think there’s something magical around death and don’t understand the finality of it.

I often have to spell out, just as Briony does, that being dead means you can never come back. You then look for the child’s reaction to that statement; do they react with surprise, sadness or seem unfazed?

She discovers that Jamie does seem to fully comprehend what death means, making his apparent disengagement with what he has done all the more chilling.

REFUSING TO SAY IF SHE LIKES JAMIE

This is the part of the show that my colleagues and I have found hard to get our heads round. In real life no psychologist would ever leave Jamie’s desperate question of ‘do you like me?’ unanswered. 

But for the purposes of the drama, we agree that it showed the professional impartial approach you have to take with all your clients.

However, in reality, leaving that question unanswered – especially when it is clearly causing Jamie a huge amount of distress – would be incredibly damaging.

Even psychologists who are carrying out criminal assessments do not want to become involved in a situation and make it worse for the person being assessed.

It’s a tricky situation for her to be in, because it would also be wholly inappropriate to say that she likes Jamie – and could jeopardise the whole case against him.

But allowing him to think he is purely a bad person, and totally unlikeable, is dangerous. It’s implanting the idea that he is a woman-hating killer, because those thoughts will manifest.

Even though the primary purpose of their interaction isn’t rehabilitative, Briony would be aware that refusing to answer Jamie will cause more problems for his rehabilitation in the future.

If I had been in Briony’s shoes, I would have said something like: ‘I don’t like what you have done, or your behaviour, but I believe you have parts of you that want to be liked by others.’

JAMIE’S PERSISTENT DENIALS OF KILLING

It’s interesting that Jamie denies killing Katie for so long, even after being shown the CCTV footage of him stabbing her. He seems developmentally normal, so there are other psychological reasons as to why he’d blatantly lie.

I think it’s because of the sheer shame he’s feeling. He can’t admit he is that sort of person – either to himself or his dad, played by Stephen Graham.

He’s terrified other people will see him in that light, hence why he is also so desperate to know if Briony likes him. It could also be a sign of a mild multiple personality disorder: the Jamie who attacked Katie is not the same Jamie he sees himself as.

This is a really common reaction to being confronted by something you are ashamed of. One girl I worked with was shown CCTV footage of her clearly stealing money from a school fundraiser, but she refused to acknowledge it was her.

She couldn’t handle the shame of what she’d done and that seems to be how Jamie is reacting.

After he had left the ROOM Briony is shown to be visibly shaking and crying when Jamie leaves the room. I thought this was incredibly realistic. 

Working as a child psychologist is a hard job. You hear a lot of trauma and it’s hard to see the impact it has on children, as well as cope with the impact is has on you.

I’ve come out of consultations before in tears because of what I’ve heard – you wouldn’t be a very good psychologist if you didn’t have any kind of human reaction to those things.

I’ve also had occasions where I’ve come out and felt furious about what a child has told me. I remember struggling to keep my composure once when a teenage girl told me about really cruel bullying her peers had been posting on the internet.

The impact on her was horrendous. It made my blood boil but you can’t show it when you are speaking to the child.

Briony can’t bring herself to even touch his leftover sandwich when he has left the room and that really gives an idea of the mask psychologists have to put up to hide their true feelings and maintain a professional air.

Dr Sheila Redfern is the author of Reflective Parenting and How Do You Hug A Cactus? As told to Heather Main