Three-word comeback is the most effective phrase to make use of when insulted, boffins say
Top egghead neuroscientist Dean Burnett said calling someone “grandma” is one of the “scientifically recognised ways” to disable an awkward situation
“Calm down, Grandma” is the best phrase to use as a comeback to an insult, boffins say.
Top egghead neuroscientist Dean Burnett said calling someone “grandma” is one of the “scientifically recognised ways” to disable an awkward situation after a good bit of verbal jousting.
It makes the other party seem “lower status” and “more easily-ridiculed”, said Burnett, adding “especially if they can’t possibly be your grandma, because they’re a 20-something man”. He said: “Someone says, ‘Your haircut looks stupid’. You reply, ‘Okay, calm down grandma’. You’ve put them in the category ‘Older, unfashionable, out-of-touch people’, which makes them look worse.”
Burnett explained that some criticism can cause people actual pain, making them feel rejected. This is because brain activity is “indistinguishable” from physical pain. The doctor and author also said that some recommend doubling down on a point made by the person dishing out the insults. “They say, ‘I don’t understand why [your attractive partner] is with you’, you say, ‘Would you like me to explain it to you? With crayons?’ They meant to insult you, but the response turns it into them admitting to being easily baffled.” And cheeky responses are also a good way of demonstrating superior wit, making it look like the person on the receiving end of the jibe is unbothered. Admitting or agreeing with the scorner even if they are rude about a person’s attractiveness or weight is great for taking the sting out of their argument. Burnett calls this “co-constructing criticism”. “They say, ‘You’re fat!’ You say, ‘I should hope so, I’ve spent enough money to get this way’,” he explained. “There are countless more comebacks, but they all orbit a central theme of not giving the insulter power, of denying them raised status and retaining control of the narrative or exchange.”
Angry folk are better at their jobs and getting stuff done for two reasons, say boffins
Angry people are better at getting things done than those who are sad – making it an ‘incredibly useful’ emotion, a top boffin has revealed.
Neuroscientist Professor Abigail Marsh explained that we get ‘enraged’ when a task is difficult but harnessing that to complete a job is more helpful than giving up. Rage can even make you physically stronger and less responsive to pain, the US university academic said.
She added that the emotion gets a ‘bad rap’ when as long as it isn’t directed at someone there’s ‘no harm done’. Speaking on the Instant Genius podcast, Prof Marsh said: “Rage is an incredibly useful emotion, actually, and it’s not even a necessarily negative state.
“I think rage sometimes gets a bad rap, it can be unpleasant for other people but when you’re directing it at a physical challenge you know no harm done.
“Rage seems to be an emotion that evolved to take over when the sort of baseline reward seeking system isn’t getting the job done right.
“If you really want to tackle a challenge its way better to experience rage in that moment.”
