ALEXANDRA SHULMAN’S NOTEBOOK: At 68, am I too outdated to have a boyfriend?
Ever since I was 13 years old, I’ve loved the idea of having a boyfriend. And 50 years later, I still do. Which might explain why I persist in calling David, with whom I have been living for 20 years, my ‘boyfriend‘.
Since I am 68 and David ten years older, there are moments when admittedly I feel a bit queasy about using the term. After all, even his most devoted admirers couldn’t describe him as a ‘boy’. But, in the end, nothing else feels or sounds right.
We are not married so David isn’t my husband, and the alternatives for co-habiting couples are horrible. The word ‘partner’ is unattractively corporate and contractual. ‘Lover’ is several steps worse than boyfriend in the queasy stakes, while ‘my other half’ is quite possibly the most unromantic way of referring to the person you share your life with.
Sometimes, when I introduce David to friends as my boyfriend, I can see them get that ‘who are you kidding?’ look in their eyes.
And, age aside, the word has very much fallen out of fashion.
A Vogue article posed the question: ‘Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?’ The piece went viral to the point that, when interviewed on The Rest Is Politics podcast last week, Anna Wintour admitted it had been one of the magazine’s most popular pieces.
Young women might claim it’s a bit ‘ick’ to show off your boyfriend on social media, but that doesn’t stop most of the women I know being very keen on the idea of Mr Right.
Everyone likes boyfriends. Of course they do. That 13-year-old me who listened to Bob Dylan’s Lay Lady Lay with a (platonic) long-haired first boyfriend, would definitely have thought it impossible that I’d still be using the term at this age. But she would have been wrong.
Alexandra Shulman asks ‘am I too old to have a boyfriend?’
All these years later I still like the romance not only suggested by the word boyfriend, but evidenced in the man himself.
Boyfriends are forever.
A nasty outbreak of hospital red tape
My 98-year-old mother fell at her home last week and was taken to A&E by paramedics. Within a few hours she was scanned for fractures, had many tests and was established in a comfortable bed in a bay, while they worked out what to do with her.
By the end of the day she was moved to an observation ward, where she was monitored. And there she stayed for three days.
I am a huge fan of the NHS. Even so, my mother is fortunate to have had private care all her life and, at one point during her A&E visit, we wondered whether to move her across to private, where her long-standing GP could monitor her.
But apart from the fact the hospital was doing an excellent job, a transfer would mean she would have to go through all the tests again. They would not share her test results with her GP.
The NHS is buckling under this winter’s flu and it’s only going to get worse when/if the resident doctors strike this week. For non-urgent cases there are horrendous waiting times, prompting many to financially stretch themselves by paying for operations privately or by taking out expensive health insurance policies.
It seems crazy that we don’t operate a hybrid system whereby private and NHS share data. It would enable people to use both in a more mix-and-match approach.
My mother had excellent treatment and was released quickly. But, by not making it simple for her to transfer to her private doctor, she had to stay longer than necessary on an NHS ward, clogging up a much-needed bed.
Why a glass of red is just the tonic
A survey claims dark chocolate is the secret to longevity.
The research, from King’s College London, found that theobromine, a plant compound in cocoa, could have anti-ageing properties.
I can suggest an alternative. When our mother was finally delivered home from hospital at midnight, it was not dark chocolate she craved, but a glass of good red Beaujolais. It’s served her well over the years.
Alexandra Shulman suggests red wine is the key to longevity (file image)
Let’s all boycott Trump’s World Cup
If I were King of the World, or at least Europe, I would order everyone to boycott the 2026 World Cup, hosted by the US.
I can’t think why those of us Trump regards as living in ‘decaying countries’, should give the US the massive economic boost such an event could provide.
Shedding new light on a festive tradition
Every year my son and I have the same debate – to put it politely – about the correct way to install the Christmas tree lights.
He swears that we must start at the top and work down; I argue that it makes total sense to do it from the bottom up. Since he’s taller and I need him on-side, I always cave in.
This year was no exception. ‘It will work if you passively submit to my plan,’ he announced from his ladder as we struggled with the tangle of lights.
‘This is not a democratic process. After all, I’ve learnt from the best!’
No idea who he was referring to.
No wonder people call them sweaters!
It’s all very well this business of luxe sweaters being lauded as this season’s go-to party wear, but have any of these fashion advisers tried wearing a four-ply cashmere rollneck over a sequinned pencil skirt in a steamy room of guests?
I understand they add a stealth wealth element to the festive look, but there’s nothing chic about the sweaty face they cause.
I understand they add a stealth wealth element to the festive look, but there’s nothing chic about the sweaty face rollneck sweaters cause (file image)
I’ve seen the face of Christmas future
Having spent a day battling massive Christmas shopping crowds in London’s West End, I was fascinated to read in John Lewis’s annual report that customers have taken to using Uber Eats to buy the store’s gifts, cards and wrapping paper.
Instant gratification, and all at a flick of a finger while you drink a cinnamon tea at home. I’ve seen the future.
