‘I maintain telling mates about wild romps with my hunky boyfriend however there’s one large drawback’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader whose private life is one big lie

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If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

Passionate sex is all in my head

This season I’ve gone over the top posting pictures of my sparkling Christmas tree and festive food. My followers gush that my life looks magical and I’m the luckiest woman alive. People assume I’ve made it – but I’ve never felt so empty inside. I aim to post a positive story a day. But the fake smile slips from my lips the minute my phone falls from my hand. Unless I’m taking selfies, I rarely dress smartly or bother with make-up.

I’ve even made up a gorgeous, mysterious boyfriend that I tell people I’ve having wild, passionate sex with. I pretend that we spend long days in bed and that I’ve never felt more satisfied or desired. All rubbish. I’m a fraud. I thought that dumping my ex-partner and moving to a cosy country cottage would make me happy, but I feel isolated and vulnerable. When I look back, my ex wasn’t a bad bloke. He was a bit boring, but he was kind. Now he’s with one of my ex-neighbours. I can see from their socials that they really ARE having a great time and I feel a fool. Most nights I hide under the duvet watching rubbish TV.

Moving here was supposed to be my life changer, but how can I admit to anyone that I’ve never been at such a low ebb when I have made a big drama of showing off and living the dream? Things are especially bad at the moment because two of my closest friends have just got engaged and are planning massive 2026 weddings. I’ve got everything wrong and could kick myself.

JANE SAYS: There’s no shame in admitting that things are tough right now. On the surface your life looks picture perfect. You’ve carefully constructed an enviable ‘Insta Fantastic’ lifestyle and your viewers/subscribers assume you’re happy, but who are you impressing? I bet your loved ones would be devastated to discover that not everything in your garden is as rosy as painted.

Take a deep breath and call the one person you trust the most. The person who won’t make a fuss or condemn or judge you. Simply explain that you’re struggling to cope. Can he or she help you to find your way again?

Sadly, if life in your new setting isn’t working out and making you happy, then you’ll have to make plans to move on – and no one is entitled to comment on that. It’s your life and you must do what works for you.

As for your ex, you need to mentally let him go because you and he are history. Hopefully, in time, you’ll find someone new to share your life with. The immediate future might seem bleak and hopeless – this time of year is never easy – but you must believe that, with love, support, and honesty (on your part) that things will get better.

Ditch those selfies; stop pretending to be something you’re not and call The Samaritans (116 123) if ever you simply need to speak to someone. Please don’t hide yourself away. You need to reach out to friends and family so that they can support and comfort you.

It’s all about him

During a family meal my husband stood up and made a speech – all about himself. He spent 30 minutes talking about how well he’s done in 2025 and how proud he is of himself for working hard, hitting targets and keeping fit. He bragged about his cycling and running achievements as well as his golf handicap.

Did he thank me for standing by him despite losing my father last April? No. Did he mention our two gorgeous daughters’ amazing GCSE results or my promotion at work? No. His adoring mother clapped his every achievement as I sat seething. How come this man only thinks of himself?

JANE SAYS: I suspect, putting himself at the centre of his universe is how your husband has always functioned and coped.

I’m sure, in his own way, that he’s proud of your children and you. I suggest you pick your moment and explain how disappointed you frequently feel. Talk to him about manners, inclusivity, and respect. Is he interested in telling your kids how he feels?

Can he demonstrate how much he loves and appreciates you? Will he agree to chatting things over in advance of any future speeches? I want to believe that he is capable of change.

Secrets and lies

I’m engaged to the girl of my dreams, but I’ve just discovered that she’s been married before. During a family meal her uncle started making jokes about her first, disastrous wedding and tricky divorce.

Now she’s dismissing me by saying it was a ‘starter marriage’. She and her ex were only wed for six months, and it was a mistake. What am I supposed to think?

JANE SAYS: When was your girl planning to tell you about her relationship history? Tell her that need to hear the full story of this early marriage – and why it ended – plus anything else she’s kept under wraps.

She owes you the truth so that the same mistakes are not made over again. Don’t rush into committing to her if this doesn’t feel right.