The dos and don’ts of taking your spouse’s title: Brooklyn Beckham and Adam Peaty suppose they’re terribly fashionable males – however acquired it unsuitable with their grand gestures

Adding their wives’ surnames to their monikers was no doubt supposed to be a show of unity in the face of their family feuds – but Adam Peaty and Brooklyn Beckham‘s affectionate decisions missed the mark, according to an etiquette expert.

Instead of coming across as a ‘celebration of equality, commitment and a united front’, Laura Windsor told the Daily Mail that the two men’s ‘timing and public nature of the name changes… undermines what would otherwise be a thoughtful gesture’.

Known as the Queen of Etiquette, having been an expert on all things decorum and elegance for years, she added that the lack of hyphens in their double-barrelled surnames also showed little ‘understanding of tradition’. 

Laura, who has previously advised Netflix on Regency-era social graces for the hit series Bridgerton, said the pair’s mishap could even suggest the family names are not ‘both equally important’.

Following his wedding to Holly Ramsay on Saturday at Bath Abbey, Adam made a huge statement about his future family ties by changing his moniker on social media to Adam Ramsay Peaty.

The name change is the latest sign that the Olympian, 31, has distanced himself from his own family, after uninviting his parents from his wedding.

Adam has followed in the footsteps of Sir David and Victoria Beckham‘s estranged son Brooklyn, who added his wife Nicola’s surname Peltz to his name after marrying the US star in 2022.

Like Adam, the Cloud23 founder, now Brooklyn Peltz Beckham on his Instagram account, has cut ties with his parents, with that family feud cited as the reason he didn’t attend Adam and Holly’s wedding alongside his siblings, despite being close friends with the bride since childhood.

Discussing Adam and Brooklyn’s name changes (which their wives also, traditionally, adopted), Laura said: ‘Taking a loved ones surname can be a wonderful gesture – a celebration of equality, commitment and a united front. 

‘However, etiquette is not just about what you do but also how you do things. The public nature of the name changes, and the timing amidst ongoing family drama undermines what would otherwise be a thoughtful and generous gesture.

‘Posting it on Instagram has just amplified the problem, shifting our attention from authenticity to public spectacle.’

Laura explained how ‘etiquette has evolved’ and it is now ‘increasingly common for men to adopt their wives’ names’ – but she suggested doing so amid family feuds ‘may raise questions about their integrity, emotional intelligence and their understanding of tradition’.

‘Rather than a meaningful, symbolic gesture of love, it can risk coming across as performative,’ suggested the expert.

She continued: ‘The men are sending a very clear message to their parents – emphasising their unity, distancing themselves from family tensions and making a point that these are their lives to live. 

‘Is it good or bad decorum? Keeping family matters private, practicing emotional intelligence, putting ego aside and working to resolve problems is good etiquette. Public displays risk becoming theatrical and performative.’

Explaining the history of double-barrelled names in Britain, Laura claimed they were used to link inheritance and property through marriage, rather than being any sort of loving gesture.

She added that traditionally, a hyphenated surname denoted a single, shared family name, with both being ‘equally important’.

‘If the surname is unhyphenated, the second name – which in this case happens to be the wives’ names – may be treated as a middle name which is often dropped in everyday use,’ said Laura. It’s unclear if Adam and Brooklyn hyphenated their names officially.

Adam tied the knot with influencer Holly, 25, at Bath Abbey on Saturday, in nuptials which have been overshadowed by a lengthy feud with the groom’s parents. 

The huge rift between the two families has become increasingly clear ever since Adam uninvited them from the day and his mother was left out of Holly’s hen party.

Father of the bride Gordon reportedly made a brutal dig at his new son-in-law’s parents in his speech, leaving Adam’s mother Caroline ‘outraged’.

Gordon, 59, waded into the Peaty family drama by saying his wife Tana ‘will be a good mum to them both’, according to a new report in The Sun which also claims Adam has now blocked his family from messaging him.

They report that in his father of the bride speech Gordon commented on how beautiful Holly looked and told Adam he was a ‘lucky man’, adding: ‘Look at Tana and that’s what you have to look forward to.’

The publication goes on to claim that Gordon couldn’t resist a sly dig at Adam’s absent parents as he told his daughter Holly: ‘Shame you don’t have the same.’

Adam’s estranged mother is ‘outraged’ and ‘hurt’ that Gordon referred to their bitter family feud in his explosive father of the bride speech, a family source has said.

Caroline Peaty, who was banned from the lavish ceremony, believes the celebrity chef had ‘pre planned’ the cruel swipe against her.

A family source told the Daily Mail: ‘Caroline can’t believe Gordon brought their family troubles up his speech. It is outrageous and very hurtful.

‘By him saying Tana will be a good mum to them both makes Caroline sound like a bad mum. It was a cruel dig at her. She has always done her best for all her children. She is a very good mum.

‘Who says this wasn’t pre-planned?’ The source added: ‘We may not have much as a family but we have values.’

Adam is thought to have not mentioned his family or parents in his speech, instead praising his swim coach Mel Marshall for being his ‘everything’, and for ‘grounding and inspiring’ him.

In an emotional moment he also reportedly said that he saw Mel ‘like a mum’ due to her support.

Mother-of-four Caroline, 60, and husband Mark remained behind closed doors at their modest home in Uttoxeter, Staffordshire, during the wedding day and reception.