Man helps get his personal sister pregnant in ‘scary’ and ‘uncomfortable’ process
Kenny Ethan Jones, who paused his hormone therapy to donate his eggs and help his sister try for a baby after years of infertility struggles, has opened up exclusively to the Daily Star
A transgender influencer admitted he was ‘scared’ when he helped his own sister get pregnant.
Kenny Ethan Jones, founder of period underwear brand LostFame, helped his sister, who was struggling with infertility, by offering to donate his eggs so she could try to have a baby. He has now exclusively opened up to the Daily Star about the physical and emotional challenges this selfless gesture involved.
People who experience challenges with fertility and those who are transgender share an unexpected bond: both may feel that their bodies are not aligned with their hopes or identities in some way. For transgender individuals, this can manifest as gender dysphoria, when their sex assigned at birth doesn’t correspond with their gender identity.
For those facing fertility challenges, this may lead to feelings of frustration or even guilt when their reproductive systems do not function as they had hoped.
As a transgender man, helping his sister get pregnant meant Kenny pausing his hormone therapy, undergoing a demanding medical process, and facing potential triggers for gender dysphoria. He explained: “Oestrogen being my driving hormone when I have been on testosterone at that time 10, 11 years, it was just going back to a place that wasn’t really comfortable for me.
Triggering gender dysphoria
“I was scared about re-triggering dysphoria because of the periods that had to happen and just being so acutely aware of my body and body parts that I’ve tried to ignore for a long time. And so, I was worried about the mental health side of how the journey was going to affect me.”
Kenny donated his eggs by temporarily stopping his testosterone therapy and undergoing an egg retrieval process. This involved taking multiple daily medications and hormone injections over a couple of weeks, having frequent blood tests and scans.
He recalled: “When we spoke to the doctors about the procedure, they create a care plan based on every individual person, and so, they gave me a [oestrogen suppressant medication] so it ensured that it was going to make it less likely that I’d be triggered by gender dysphoria, because it would just keep my oestrogen levels lower during this process.”
He added: “It was a very intense process, I’m kind of glad that I didn’t do more research into it beforehand because I think it might have discouraged me a little… I think it’s a lot more intense than you realise.”
Kenny’s sister had been trying to have a baby for four years, but suffered multiple miscarriages, which became emotionally overwhelming and led her to consider other fertility options like adoption and egg donation. While discussing these options, Kenny spontaneously offered to donate his eggs to her, though at first it was just a casual suggestion.
After a few months, his sister asked if “he was serious”, and both of them began researching whether it was possible. They decided to consult a doctor to check Kenny’s fertility and see if he could help, which marked the beginning of their journey together.
“I felt proud of myself”
Kenny admitted: “It was incredible because there was so much anticipation because [my sister] thought she found a solution potentially.” The influencer was initially unsure about his fertility after years on testosterone and worried about disappointing his sister, but was relieved and amazed to learn he still had good fertility and could help her try for a baby, he shared.
After completing the egg collection process, Kenny experienced a difficult “hormonal crash” but “felt proud and relieved” to have made it through such a challenging journey. At the fertility clinic, experts collected 19 eggs, resulting in six embryos and giving Kenny’s sister a strong chance of becoming pregnant, though only one embryo would be transferred at a time.
“I felt really grateful,” Kenny said. “I felt proud of myself.”
At Kenny and his family’s request, details such as his sister’s identity, the stage of her pregnancy, and information about the baby’s father are being kept private for now. Nevertheless, Kenny did acknowledge that while there may always be a special connection to his sister’s baby, because he helped bring the child into the world, he sees himself as a “super uncle” rather than a parent.
He explained that he had worked to emotionally detach from the idea of parental attachment. Moreover, Kenny credited his lack of a strong maternal instinct, his transition, and his sister’s deep desire to be a mother as factors that helped him maintain healthy boundaries, focusing on supporting his sister’s journey to parenthood.
Kenny said: [I had to do] implications counselling. And in implications counseling, one of the conversations I had [included to] list everything that I could imagine going wrong. Like me and my sister hate each other in a year’s time.
“I’ve had to detach from my body”
“Would I still be happy I did this? And one of the conversations that came up was about having the connection to the child and how would that make you feel?
“I knew that that would detach me because I’m not raising this child…I think a really massive part was actually my transition, funny enough, in the sense that, I’ve had to detach from the narrative that the body parts I have equal me being a woman, and I’ve had to build my sense of self and identity on who I want to be and who I am and how I present.”
Kenny continued: “I reckon there’ll be really cute moments where we bond over; me helping the baby be here, but ultimately, you’re not mine. I do think there would be a special connection.
“You can’t ignore things like that. It’s definitely a lot more difficult to donate to someone that you’re going to see forever versus a family…But, one of the things that me and [my sister] have all always been very big on as a family, even before this process, was being open and honest.” Kenny advised anyone considering egg donation as a trans person to have an honest conversation with themselves about how much gender dysphoria they can handle, as the process can be emotionally challenging and potentially triggering. He emphasised the importance of being mentally prepared, having a strong support system, and remembering the bigger purpose behind the journey.
He said: “One of the things I constantly kept saying to myself, even when moments got hard, was, ‘remember why you’re doing this, remember that this is going to give [your sister] a chance to have a baby. This is an important journey and no matter what obstacle comes our way, that is more important’.”
“It showed trans bodies in a good light”
Kenny, who has 137,000 followers on Instagram, admitted he was grateful for the support and validation he received, including unexpectedly positive comments from religious communities. He said: “Sometimes Christians can be the ones that want to kind of stare away from trans people and these kinds of topics but [there] was a lovely young Black woman who was a Christian woman, and she said: ‘God knew exactly what he was doing when he created you.
“‘You were meant to help your sister in this way…God will forever bless you for helping your sister in that way.’
“…That comment was a little bit healing because for so long, religion has been all weaponised against trans people.”
He added: “A lot of trans men don’t realise that this is even an option.
“I’ve had a lot of DMs from people, trans men or their partners who are cis women saying: ‘Hey, I didn’t know this was possible.’
“So it sparked a conversation I’m also very proud of. Also, seeing trans bodies in a good light.
“Trans people aren’t necessarily ‘worthless’, so to speak, because I think a lot of times that can be perceived because we don’t seem to be [able to reproduce], and I also just think that for people that maybe see trans people in a negative light, I think that it’s really hard to see something like that and think we’re evil. I think it’s very hard to see a story like this and think that.”
For the latest breaking news and stories from across the globe from the Daily Star, sign up for our newsletters.
