‘Reality of Blue Monday hit me after pal died by suicide in his 30s’
Ahead of ‘Blue Monday’, known as the most depressing day of the year, a dozen Labour MPs will take part in a walking challenge, ‘4.5k your way’ to promote men’s mental health
MP David Burton-Sampson will be walking in memory of his friend (Image: )
This Sunday, whatever the January weather, David Burton-Sampson will walk 4.5km in Belfairs Woods in his Essex constituency.
It’s not a random distance – every kilometre will represent one of the years men die earlier than women in the UK. The MP for Southend West and Leigh will be walking in memory of his close friend who took his own life last year, just two days before his birthday. “My friend was a bubbly, charismatic, full-of-life person in his mid-30s,” David says. “And one day he unexpectedly took his own life. The impact that has had on his husband, his family and friends has been devastating, and it still sits with all of us today.
“We all live with the unknowns as to why, the questions we will never have answered. Why did I not make that phone call? What could I have done to prevent this from happening? But his story is just one of many. Men accounted for three out of four suicides in 2023. It is the leading cause of death for men under 54. And the thing is, suicide doesn’t have to happen. It’s preventable.”
This Monday is ‘Blue Monday’, widely recognised as the most depressing day of the year. A term once coined cynically by the travel industry, it rings true for many of us during the cold, dark nights that follow the bright lights of Christmas, botched resolutions, and the long gap to payday with festive bills and debts still to be paid.
As the Chair of the APPG on suicide and mental health, and a member of the Labour group for men and boys, David is acutely aware of how tough January can be – but this weekend he will be just one of a dozen Labour MPs taking on the symbolic ‘4.5k Your Way’ challenge to highlight the gap in men’s longevity, and the government’s new mental health strategy.
Over the course of the weekend, MPs from across the UK will join constituents going the distance in whatever way they choose – on foot, by bike, or wheelchair. Constituencies include Livingston in Scotland, Telford in Wales, Erewash in Derbyshire, Leigh and Atherton, and Altrincham and Sale in Greater Manchester, Hyndburn in Lancs, Ellesmere Port in Cheshire, Hitchin in Herts and Buckingham and Bletchley in Bucks.
Many of the MPs have their own reasons for taking up the challenge. Amanda Martin, the MP for Portsmouth North, says she’s taking part for all the men in her family – “from my 10-year-old nephew to my three sons to 76-year-old dad.”
As she covers the 4.5km, she will be remembering a young man who took his own life last year – a friend of her son, who wrestles under the name ‘Archie Cole’. “Recently, we were all devastated when one of his friends, another wrestler, took his own life,” she says. “We know men are more likely to struggle in silence. So even if one man from this walk, or a man who sees the photos from this walk, reaches out for support, it will have been worth it. Help can be as simple as a conversation.”
She adds: “I have three lads, aged 23, 21 and 18, and a brother and a dad. It’s not okay for men to die 4.5 years earlier than women. It means your granddad dying 4.5 years before your nan. I first got involved in men’s mental health via a Tool Theft campaign with On the Tools. The construction industry has the highest suicide rate of any profession in the country – around four times higher than any other occupation. When someone’s tools are stolen, they don’t just lose equipment, they also lose their ability to support their families, and maintain their mental wellbeing.”
But she adds: “This is not just about men. Girls need good dads and good uncles and brothers. We need everyone together. To tackle violence against women and girls we need to build good relationships. This is about healthy relationships, not pitting men against women.”
David’s experience highlights how mental health struggles can affect men from every walk of life. His friend who lost his life to suicide had just married his male partner. “People in the LGBTQ community are more likely to have mental health issues and more likely to have poor mental health,” David says. “Being a gay man, and going through my own acceptance of my sexuality when I was younger, and even into my 30s, having to keep coming out, I still face challenges. People still face a lot of non-acceptance. For trans people it is even starker – people don’t feel they fit in society, as human beings.”
George Gabriel from The Dad Shift which has helped coordinate the Blue Monday 4.5k, welcomes Labour’s men’s mental health strategy. “Men die, on average, 4.5 years earlier than women,” he says “The figure of three out of four men taking their own lives rises to seven out of eight among new parents.
“Blue Monday, the third Monday in January, is famously the most depressing day of the year. That’s why, this year a dozen Labour MPs are organising to do the symbolic ‘4.5k your way’ in their constituencies, to promote men’s health and get men talking. 4.5ks are starting in football clubs, parks, constituency offices – and mostly ending in pubs in constituencies from Portsmouth North to Livingston Scotland. MPs hope to get people talking about men’s health in their communities.”
For Gabriel, co-founder of the Dad Shift campaign, the campaign is not theoretical. “I was walking along with my pushchair with my baby son, when I heard the news that my best friend from childhood had taken his own life,” he says. “Suicide is the leading killer of men under 54 and that will only change when being a man and asking for the help you need are no longer seen as fundamentally incompatible. We need a vision of masculinity strong enough to own that sometimes we can’t do it all on our own.”
In the Commons debate introducing the mental health strategy, David Burton-Sampson told MPs: “I never again want to receive a call to say that someone close to me has been lost in this way. We must do better, and I am hopeful that we are starting to head in the right direction.”
Amanda Martin adds: “Let’s take the saddest day of the year and turn it into a moment for connection, conversation and community.”
When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123, email them at [email protected], or visit their website at www.samaritans.org to find details of your nearest branch.
