‘We bonk for days at a time however my household does not approve of our naughty romps’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who is enjoying fun and passion but keeps being told she’s selfish and rude

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My orgasms are his priority

I’m in new relationship with a wonderful man who finds me funny and attractive. He’s good looking and clever and is keen to have a lot of naughty sex with me. He jokes that making me scream is his number one priority. Sometimes we go to bed and bonk for 48 hours solid, stopping only to order in food and drink wine.

I can honestly say that I’ve had more orgasms with him than in the entire 25 years I was with my ex (my daughter’s dad).

The problem is that my girl (33) is jealous that I’m having better sex than her. She’s bogged down with young children and is permanently exhausted. She can get quite bitter and nasty when I’m off on another ‘dirty weekend’. She spits that I’m ‘disgusting’. What’s wrong or smutty about late life fun? I was badly let down by her father and believe that I deserve satisfaction and happiness.

JANE SAYS: Your daughter presumably had a lot of fun as a younger woman, and her time will come again once her children have grown. Admittedly it must be galling seeing you having such a wonderful time, but she needs to start being happy for you. Her children are her gift and her responsibility. Help her out when you can but don’t feel you have to hide your light or hold back. Embrace every new day and don’t feel guilty for loving and being loved. There’s nothing ‘disgusting’ about sex in later life and your daughter does herself no credit by suggesting there is. Do you and she need an adult heart-to-heart?

Does she need to hear that this is your time now?

She lives in a dream world

My friend is the eternal optimist.

She’s approaching her 40^th birthday but firmly believes that she’ll still find love and have a family. She imagines meeting a man who already has kids or adopting from abroad or fostering here. She is a huge devotee of on-line dating. With every new candidate she gushes: “This could be the one” but it never is. For many years she dated a married man who eventually died without ever leaving his wife. Do I finally level with her and tell her that it’s never going to have her big, white wedding? Does she deserve to hear that she’s deluded so that she can make the most of the life she has?

JANE SAYS: Clearly your friend is not ready to give up hope.

To be honest, I don’t think you should intervene. I can’t believe she would appreciate you instigating such a sensitive conversation because she is hopeful and would be left feeling humiliated and ridiculous.

The fact is that plenty of people do find love and happiness in later life and, hopefully, she will too.

The real question here is, how much are you prepared to put up with? Are there any practical tips you could offer?

If her dating woes are beginning to bore or distract you from your work or family, then do you need to step back from the day-to-day details of her private life?

I’m a joke

Nothing in our relationship is sacred. I’m suffering from stress and unable to have sex, yet my partner keeps telling her friends all about me. More than once, I’ve humiliated myself in the bedroom and left her frustrated and angry.

Yet any time a pal or relative comes over I can hear her gossiping about my problems. I’m a private person and she treats my condition like juicy entertainment and it’s embarrassing. Where is the love or support?

JANE SAYS: Your partner needs to sober up and start displaying some solidarity. Doesn’t she realise that her immaturity is making an upsetting situation even worse?

You are feeling terrible, yet she’s using your misery to entertain others. Speak to your GP about the way you’re feeling and the stress you’re under. Find out what help is available to you.

Also talk to your partner about the issues that are affecting your stress levels. What are the triggers and what obvious changes can be made?

Could getting back to basics in the bedroom help to kickstart your sex life? What ideas can you work on together? Might consulting his GP, a healthy diet and giving up booze also help?