‘Love of my dwell is again within the UK – we bonked 3 times a day in every single place’

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Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

We were the golden couple

I’ve tracked down the love of my life.

I’ve found him on social media. He’s back living in the UK after many years in America. He looks amazing.

Dare I contact him? Dare I stir up the old feelings all over again. There’s no denying that he was ‘The One’

I became obsessed with him at 14. I spotted him at our youth club and fell instantly in love. I used to hang out beside his house. I drove my friends crazy by swooning over him. I walked on air when he finally asked me out on my 16^th birthday. For a while we were on fire. He was a bit older than me and had a car. We whizzed around like Sandy and Danny from Grease. We were the golden couple – the king and queen.

I lost my virginity to him one sunny afternoon at his mum’s house. It wasn’t a disappointment! We then proceeded to have horny, teenage sex two or three times a day wherever we could. Let’s just say that the springs on the backseat of his motor were never the same again. We were obsessed with each other, and we had so much fun.

We were forced apart when his family moved away. My heart shattered into a million pieces. I’ve been married to my husband for 16 years but it’s my ex that haunts my dreams. It’s him I always think about while having sex with my husband. It’s still him I can taste, smell and feel. I feel guilty and foolish for mooning over a teenage crush when my husband is lovely, but I feel that my ex and I have unfinished business. He ‘got’ me like no one else. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be happy with what I’ve got when I’m so fortunate?

JANE SAYS: The relationship you enjoyed with your ex-boyfriend was special and significant, but it ended for a very good reason – you went one way he went another. We all get nostalgic and curious from time-to-time. He’ll always be part of who you are, but the chances are, he’s got a new partner and family of his own. If you met him again, you might be very disappointed because he’s no longer the fresh faced teen you fell in love with during a very significant time of your life when your hormones were racing and the whole world was in Technicolour.

You’re allowed to appreciate the experiences that make you the person you are today but please don’t cross that line and attempt to make contact with your ex.

I fear that hooking up with him would be messy. What if he’s not as nice as you remember; what if he’s become hardened over time and he rejected or even humiliated you? You don’t need that. Are you seriously suggesting that you would sleep with another man behind your loyal husband’s back?

Look at your husband and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. Think of all the wonderful things he’s done for you and continues to do.

Appreciate the here and now and keep reminding yourself of how fortunate you are. Your memories are one thing, but day-to-day reality is something else.

On the jabs

A friend never stops making personal comments about my body. She is fond of giving me ‘helpful’ slimming tips at the most inappropriate times.

She slides up to me during nights out and suggests fasting, fat jabs or a calorie-controlled diet.

She looks me up and down in my swimming costume at the local swimming pool (we do aqua-aerobics each Tuesday morning) and suggests that I should try THREE classes a week plus cycling and running to ‘get rid of that flab’. I’m fast losing patience with her. The fact is that I’m perfectly happy with my figure. I’m not interested in losing weight. How do I get her to back off without blowing my top? I accept that she thinks she’s being kind, but I don’t need this.

JANE SAYS: Your friend needs to hear that you are perfectly happy with your figure and your diet. Get in first and speak to her before she raises this subject again.

Thank her for her concern but make it clear that you are well educated on matters of calories and exercise. You may not be perfect in her eyes, but you’re not lazy or greedy; you’re healthy and content with the skin you’re in. Does she understand that? And is she now willing to change the record and show you some respect? Is she a generally unkind person who you could do without in your life?

She won’t touch me

I’ve been married for eight years and, for much of that time, sex has been a problem. My wife has little or no interest. It’s always been me who has taken the initiative, but I’m often rebuffed, and we haven’t had sex for months. Add to that her short temper, near OCD cleaning and demeaning comments towards me. We never had children, just dogs, and I yearn for someone to love. How can I end this unhappiness when I feel I’ve still got so much more to give?

JANE SAYS: Your wife must hear how you feel. I realise it’s tough talking about difficult subjects, but your marriage is at stake here. Is she bad tempered and short with you because she’s frustrated or unhappy? Is she reluctant to have sex because she is in pain or no longer self-confident?

Ask for that all-important chat and make it clear that you need everything to change. Would you and she benefit from relationship counselling? Please don’t do anything rash because you currently have the comfort of your home and financial security. You may find it very cold and alone out in the world on your own. Are you inclined to speak to your GP regarding your general and mental well-being?

He’s not bothered

Our son (24) regularly cancels at the last minute. We invite him over for a meal and he calls five minutes before he’s due with a pathetic excuse. We’re constantly disappointed. Now he’s announced that he won’t be coming on holiday with us for my big birthday because he’s ‘busy’. Must we stop believing in him?

JANE SAYS: It’s very easy to promise but delivering is something else. This young man will always be your son but, maybe, you’ll need to be more proactive and organise your own celebrations and trips in future. It’s possible he’ll become more dependable and considerate once he grows up and settles down. Don’t fall out with him but do let him know how upset you’ve felt in the past. Is there anything he wishes to tell you?