‘SEND reforms sound constructive – however I worry they’ll do extra hurt for kids like mine’

As the government sets out its Schools White Paper to build a ‘truly inclusive system’, many parents like myself will worry this will water down support for children with neurodiverse needs

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As a mum of three school aged children – two neurodivergent – I have a deep interest in the government’s planned shake-up of SEND provision, as will many parents in my position.

The PM will today unveil long-awaited plans to reform the system that supports children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND). The Department of Education wants to do away with the bureaucracy families currently have to fight through to get relevant and meaningful support for their kids, and boost funding to mainstream schools so they can offer more tailored support without the need for a costly legally binding Educational Health Care Plan.

On the face of it the changes sound positive. To have a truly inclusive education system where all children’s needs are met can only be a huge step forward in improving the system for those with special educational needs. And many school leaders and children’s institutions have been quick to praise the reforms.

READ MORE: 13 bombshell changes to schools from new SEND support and classroom shake-upREAD MORE: Keir Starmer makes key promise as major school SEND plans announced

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But, what strikes me about this plan, is the real lack of understanding regarding the genuine limitations facing parents of neurodiverse children. Many would dearly love to their children to attend mainstream school, but they simply cannot get them through the door.

This is because many neurodiverse kids have sensory processing difficulties and can not cope with the school environment itself. They refuse to go.

It’s not through lack of trying. Our local secondary has made a host of changes in order to try to adequately provide support for children with SEND. But if you simply cannot get your child in the building because they find the setting too overwhelming – none of these supports can be accessed.

This is where the government’s plan falls down. The fact is, the structure of the UK school system as it currently stands will never work for a huge number neurodiverse children because of the environment itself – not necessarily the lack of kindness and support on offer.

Most secondaries have well over 1,000 pupils – our school is approaching 1,500 pupils on the roll, all with their own needs and own parents advocating for them. The SEN system in these mainstream settings is stretched beyond belief.

Then comes the practicalities. Children across the country are stuffed into classes of more than 30, often with only one teacher. They all face the front and listen for at least an hour, before moving on to the next class with hundreds of students all doing the same.

The way we educate our children in the UK hasn’t fundamentally changed since Victorian times and that is the real problem here. I have had many meetings with school leaders, and am always amazed by how organised the system is, but how busy and loud the school site can be.

If I put myself in a neurodivergent child’s shoes, it is easy to see why school does not work for so many of them. Quite often children transition from small village primary schools to massive super secondaries with hardly any support during the process.

They go from a nurturing environment to one where you’re treated as an adult at the age of 11 and expected to know how to get on and make the best of it – no longer having one teacher teaching a few subjects – but up to seven teachers a day all with different approaches, expectations, and tolerances. One shouty teacher can really derail a struggling child, and coupled with the demands placed on them to navigate the overwhelming environment, it’s not long before the wheels fall off and they refuse to go.

There’s only so much which can be sorted out by creating a quiet space and having more therapeutic approach to teaching. I feel the government needs to focus on building more schools which offer smaller settings and class sizes instead of trying to squeeze more out of an outdated education system already at breaking point.

Our eldest has been home schooled for three years having successfully masked her autism during primary school. Secondary school saw a huge change in her. It wasn’t until her mental health was so badly affected that her specialist suggested my daughter could be autistic.

We then started the very long process of seeking a diagnosis. After realising the NHS waiting list in our area was three years long, we pursued a private diagnosis at huge cost. The provider was reputable, the professionals were experts in their fields and the process was detailed and thorough. I trusted the result and it was indeed discovered that our daughter is autistic.

It finally clarified the situation. It answered so many of our questions about why she couldn’t face going to school and was struggling so much. As a mother, I felt immense guilt for not noticing and for forcing her each day to get up and get in—demands that were ultimately futile.

I turned my attention to getting her support. The school leaders were amazing but all offered support required her to be in the building. We tried many approaches and failed. In the end our daughter was issued an EHCP, which allowed the school to get extra funding from the local council to cover the costs of her being home schooled.

She has made amazing academic progress since this support was put in place and now has the prospect of gaining two GCSEs in the summer. This will open doors for higher education, should she choose to go down that path. It is only due to this support she has an educational future.

Her mental health as a result of this support has also seen improvement and it has been a beautiful thing to watch her develop and grow as an amazing person. But I worry children like my daughter will now not be offered such help as the system is torn up in favour of trying making the one size fits all school system work.

The result will likely see children like my daughter not given legal protection for her educational needs – but told the school should manage and provide relevant supports. Parents up and down the country will be feeling extremely anxious about these plans and I really sympathise.

It is a situation no parent wants to be in. We all want our children to be happy and settled and I fear these changes will actually worsen the situation for many of those families instead of improving it.